Man Overboard

I'm hitting a rut or maybe a brick wall

Ever done that?

The house seems to have slowed way, way, way down.  It no one's fault its just that we're to the process of weekends being work time.

Between the fact the house is at a slower process, the holidays around the corner, and not being in my own home....I feel like I'm drowning.

My husband works late and then when he's off work he has to go work on the house....I feel alone.

I love my kids but being that we're on our own a lot more in a house that isn't ours makes life a little more difficult.

This whole situation is totally uncomfortable.  I'm 8 weeks into being over it.  

She's ungrateful....

No I'm not.  I am very thankful for so much.  I am just past the point of smiling and being positive.

I am over fake sympathy.

I am over backhanded apologies.

I am sick and tired of this "test" we've been given.

Right now I feel like the guy who couldn't take the ship anymore.  He was sick of vomiting, sick of the sea, and home sick.  He jumped overboard to get away.  

The only flip side of that feeling is this:  you jump into the sea you'll probably flounder and float and swim and tread.  Then eventually if no one picks you up you'll succumb to the dangers around you.  The water, the weather, the carnivores.  Had you just stayed on the ship a bit longer you'd be on land again....away from the boat, away from the water, away from the melancholy.

So I'm staying on the boat.  

And I feel so much better to just put that out there.