Monday, March 10, 2014

Monday Memoirs: The Night I Met My Husband

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Today is my 7th wedding anniversary.  In honor of it and in keeping with the {Royal} link up I'm sharing just how I met my spouse.

Hold on tight, its a bump ride.

May 2006

The day we met I was supposed to be at a wedding.  Not just any wedding but my best friend from tiny childhood {we weren't best of friends after we got past five because it was more like a family relationship if that makes any sense}.

I, however, could not possibly see myself sitting in a church at a wedding on such an awesomely beautiful day.

So I wrote the groom a letter of how happy I was for him and slipped it in the door of the church early that morning then headed to Concord, North Carolina {where Charlotte Motor Speedway happens to be} with one of my most fun friends, Stace.

Please note:  I was not, am not, will not ever be a "NASCAR" fan.  I think it is so boring to watch cars go in circles for hours upon end.  Seriously, this is a sport where fans live for wreckage.  I'm just not into it.  I gained tickets to this All Star Race from my dad who Lowe's Home Improvement {who I guess owned the track for a while} sent a VIP package to.  My dad isn't a NASCAR fan either.  He offered them to me because I was twenty something and always looking for stuff to do {I guess}.

So this was my first race experience.  It was fun {to be honest}.  Did you know NASCAR isn't all rednecks and mullets?  {Seriously, I was shocked!}  There were suits and ties, polos and khakis, yuppies and guppies and normal people and of course there were the typical mullets and beer shirts.

We actually met up with some of my friends from App State (I was at UNCG at the time) and had a great time "tailgating" {is that what you even call it for a NASCAR event?} with them.  Then we met the cutest, sweetest, most hilarious group from Columbia, SC.  Seriously, they were so much fun.  One of them actually took a little likin' to little ole me and we traded numbers.  <Wink, wink> He was f-i-n-e.

Anyhoo, the race was about to start so we all parted ways.

Apparently, the nice seats we had in the VIP section weren't good enough because 20 minutes into the race Stace and I were bored.  So we decided to go get some grub.

Then I had to pee.

This is the critical turning point.  {Ever having to do with peeing?}

See we had made a pact {if you will} that if one of us had to piss or stand in line or whatever and the other one of us started getting macked on by some suspect individuals we would eagle that shiz and swoop in and carry the other away.

Ok deal.

Right?

I came out of the bathroom to find Stace surrounded by the most sketch group of people ever.

There was person A who looked like a young Lou Diamond Phillips and had an abnormally large smile.  You know....the shit eating kind.

There was person B who was a bit over the weight limit and just looked like he either needed to ride a miniature version of a school bus or he needed to get on Jeopardy fast like.

There was person C who looked blitzed with this handwritten numbers on his bare chest and back.  Yep, winner.

There was person D who seemed to be that dude that just kind of lagged around with any random group he could find.  He was clean looking but he just looked like he couldn't make thought processes on his own.

About the time I saw this circus my flip phone made a noise....it was hot Columbia, SC guy:

"Hey girl where you at?  I got rid of Randy so you can come over and sit with us."

My response:

"Cool.  Got a little work first!  Hope Randy's family understands."

His response:

"Ok text me when you're done with your work.  Is that like bathroom talk?"

I seriously contemplated running to Columbia, SC dude at that point and failing my friend.  I mean she was highly into those weirdos and I was highly into visiting Columbia, SC.  She wouldn't have cared...seriously.  You just have to know her!

But I did the nice thing and I tried to swoop in and get her.  I tried.  I grabbed her arm and said, "C'mon lets go!"

She turned to me and said, "No, its cool their from where we're from!  I know them!"

What the bloody hell?  No, these people are not from where I am from, LOOK AT THEM!

So I figured it would be a temporary sit and chat and have a beer and we'd move on to more um mature looking folks.

Stace took right up with Lou Diamond Jr. and due to seating I had to sit next to Sharpie kid.  The guy who had taken to his body with a freakin' Sharpie like a seven year old does when making "tattoos"....

He didn't talk.

He didn't do anything but yell at cars and turn around and yell at his friends.

It was an FML moment.

I was trying to rig in my brain a way to get away.

Then he turned to me and said, "Yell for 17."

What?  Is that your age?

I drank a beer....God bless Bud Light.

"When 17 comes by yell as hard as you can."

I drank another beer....please St. Bud Light save me.

Finally I started yelling at the stupid cars and I didn't enjoy it but I figured it would help pass the time.

Home boy's yellow Nextel went beep beep.  He started talking.  I looked at my cell phone, three messages from Columbia:

"You still here?"

"Are you still doing work? Did your friend get in trouble?"

"Um ok I get it.  I'm a prize that you didn't win."

Again I thought FML.

So I decided I'd try to talk to shirtless wonder.

"Who are you talking to?"
"Someone who doesn't need to hear another female's voice."

Yep that summed it up for me.  This dude's a douche bag idiot.

We chatted a bit more.

We found ourselves in Japanese convention after the race, and I'm not kidding.  Downtown Charlotte and 3500 of your closest Japanese friends with you.  We ate Snickers and drank Dr. Pepper and said konichiwa over and over.

The next day I found out he had no ride home.  He asked if I could drop him by his place

I'm not a mean person all the time.  I said ok.

We watched Joe Dirt at his place.

We went to Ruby Tuesday for broccoli cheese soup.  I went back to Greensboro.

I'll be damned if we haven't been together since.

One house, two kids, ups, downs, all arounds, still together....





3 comments:

  1. Hahaha, Please St Bud Light save me.
    I'm glad you ended up with Sharpie guy. Men aren't really themselves at Nascar races.

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  2. Wow, how life would have changed if you would have went to that wedding! That is hilarious how you guys met. Joe Dirt and broccoli and cheese soup - so romantic. Ha! Love it girl!!!

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  3. What a funny story! That will be great to tell your kids someday!!!

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