Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Um country?

I have a beef.



A beef with what is being called country music.

Here's where it comes from this month:

Look, my husband is like Luke Bryan's number one male fan.  (Yes, he is straight.  I mean all straight dudes can have a man crush...)

I like Luke Bryan too.

But damn Luke, you are the downfall of country music.

When did country decide redneck rap was OK?  This shiz coming through my speakers has got to be flushed! STAT!

I never liked this whole Florida Georgia Line total genetic screw up.  I mean look at those guys!  Its like Keith Urban mated with Dierks Bentley (is he still around?) and got those two little twerps that obviously are happy to not be eating Spam anymore.

We used to have trailer park jokes and these guys make me want to crack camper park meth making jokes.  Seriously.

This is not country music.
This is not George Strait, Hank Jr, Conway Twitty, Loretta Lynn, Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, Reba McEntire (btw stop acting you suck at it).

This is called a train wreck (you know like Party Down South & Real Housewives of Atlanta).
This is a disaster.  This is freakin' pop music taking over the country charts and yes we can pin some blame on that ungodly long legged Taylor Swift for all of this happening. (Btw,Taylor my kid loves you to pieces...)

Then we have to point the finger at Luke Bryan who went from a cool country boy to a wanna be rapper.  I cannot listen to any of his new songs because I'm not a fan of white rappers (sorry Eminem).  They suck, they suck even more with a Georgia draw.

Here's the deal if I want to hear rap music I will gladly throw that up on my Mp3 player or radio.  If I want to hear pop music I'll pull out the 80's.  If I want country music dammit give me country music!  Not some southern accent rapping about jacked up trucks and T Payne and making out with his cousin (oops) and getting buzzed on something you got from under a cow turd.

I don't need a rap about getting drunk in a field and then going mudding.  I need a SONG about it.  I don't need a rap about farming (when we know not one of those pretty boys has ever done anything more than begged to ride on a tractor at the fair) I need a song about dusty fields and dirty hands.

I need country music to have a Come to George (Jones) meeting.

I need more Eric Church and less Luke's fine ass trying to talk some rhymes.

I need rap to not be corrupted by the booted feet, buckle wearing, tight jeans and tshirt clad kids that say in the slowest of voices that they come from Sowth Jawjah.



Ahhh those were the days....




1 comment:

  1. Ok, I'm tired of seeing him perform like he is missing a pole! You're hot. We get it. This isn't Magic Mike though. Knock it off and have some self respect.

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