Tales From The Pasture: Bad Timing

Looking back at this spring, thus far, I'm in awe over the growth of my daughter (C).  Sure, she's grown in inches but I'm watching just exactly who she is begin to bud as well.

A big part of her growth has been due to horses. In February she was surprise horse as a gift. A fall after a rough ride. Then building her confidence by lessons and rebuilding trust. Her goals now are lofty for a girl who started in April! It is as if that whole "little girl" title she has worn for 8 years is graduating to "my daughter."

There is such a difference between your little girl and your daughter. I am envisioning her as her three and four year old self in little dresses and sandals.  The captured memory in my head is of her icy blue eyes staring at the camera with smile on her face on our old porch.  She's holding a baby doll that looks like her.

When she transitions to becoming my daughter - I don't see those baby features anymore.  I see a more mature and changing young lady.  She needs me less because she wants to test her own boundaries more.

I have been excited (and stressed) for her to begin this metamorphosis into her own person - finding her own likes and dislikes.  Watching her learn to ride horses has been huge in her growth.  this school year I have watched my confident little girl turn into someone who allowed her confidence to be cracked.  When she fell from the horse in March; her who self took a blow.  She thought she could do this with ease but a bump in the road (punny, right?) tore her confidence to pieces.  Getting her horse riding lessons has been a huge gift not just for her but also for me. The ability to actually visually see her shed fear has been beyond miraculous.  Sure, it is a small step and many do it - but to see your own child lose a fear and put her head up in confidence and smile - you realize that is a total miracle that could easily be taken for granted.

With all this being said, you can imagine our immense disappointment when we received letter that said the riding lessons would no longer be after May 31st.

I read it first since I had collected the mail.  Yes, there was a lump in my throat.  Yes, I had cold chills.  Yes, my heart sank.

This was really bad timing.

Just hours before this my daughter had told me she wanted to be up to cantering by the end of May.  Now the end of May seemed all too close and we would be without a trainer.  Giving her the news of lessons ending just hurt.

She cried.

That hurt.

We have a great teacher and now she would be looking to relocate her services.  This isn't a quick process.  There would need to be new horses for training beginners.  My C would be as heartbroken over her trainer as she would be over her training horse, Pax.

Bad, bad timing.

Having watched my C go from being deathly afraid of the animal to giggling on his back while he gently walked her about the ring I kept thinking - now is the time to continue!  We cannot stop now!  We cannot have a break!

But this is a life lesson.

A very unfair life lesson.

When things are going well there is always the chance for something not so grand to occur.  It is true for every person on the earth.  We don't always have good days.  We do not always get our way.  Sometimes things happen out of our control that cause us to change direction.

I cannot protect my child from life's curve balls and disappointments.  I can only love her through them and be supportive.

In this case...I'll be on the hunt for a new person and horse - to build trust and confidence with.

This is really bad timing - but we'll get through it.