There is a little green book bag hanging in the hallway. It has three little apples on it. It is very small because it is meant to be carried by a little girl. A little girl who bounces when she walks because she's a bubble of happiness and optimism. She sees the beauty in all things and knows this world is good. She wants to learn and grow and cannot wait to be ten years old because to her that's the magic age.
That little green book bag was purchased in the summer of 2011. Her Nana bought it for her. She was starting preschool and this was her very first book bag. She was so excited to go to school and be a big girl. I wrote her name on the back of that book bag with a Sharpie in my best block penmanship.
The first day she wore that book bag she was nervous. What would they do? Who would be there? Would her teacher be nice? We walked the cement into the basement classroom, she was excited and I was filling up with tears. It was just a step along the way but to us both it was a mighty one. When I picked her up at lunch she was bouncing and smiling. She was happy. She loved school.
That book bag has carried the most incredible love notes in the form of four and five year old art....it has carried proof of growing up by producing worksheets that were completed and checked off.
Another year of preschool and another year of the book bag on her back. She loved to wear it - even after school. She still loved school though now it was different than before. New place, new teacher, new methods. She made new friends and each day unpacked her bag to show me her sheet of the day with a smile on her face.
Today that book bag is being retired. After two good years it has completed its work of being a school bag and now will turn into a pack for day trips and overnight stays. A chapter has closed in the progression towards growing a bit older.
My beautiful little girl is leaving behind the protection of prayers at preschool to enter into the world that we have spent nearly six years preparing her for. This new world will not be like preschool - it will show her just how different the world out there is as compared to the protective bubble we have made for her. She'll once again make new friends and adjust to new atmospheres. She is no longer my itty bitty girl but my school girl. The next three months are critical to us. They are the last bit I have before the weight of going to "real" school begins. I feel like it is my last grasp on having a baby girl. I will hold her tight and then come late August that grip will be loosened a bit as she goes into a brand new world of bold colors, bigger numbers, and the tiny steps to self ownership.
It is part of the natural cycle of growing up and therefore I will not fight it. I am not the first mom to feel pangs in my heart of my precious baby preparing to enter school. I am blessed I had this amazing time in her life to be by her side and enjoy each offering the preschool years gave us. Though I'm not sure if I mean it or not - I feel like I am looking forward to what elementary school will offer her. I am just saddened at the speed at which I know it will pass.
So rock your babies to sleep tonight....
Give your kids that extra scoop of ice cream at snack time....
Play in the sprinkler....
These days are like that tiny book bag.....so incredibly cute, covered by a beautiful eagerness to be filled with knowledge and the time we have with them is quickly flying by.
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I love you C Monkey, you make me proud.
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Have a terrific Memorial Day Weekend.
Brownie
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