The time I watched 20 minutes of a movie....

Last Friday night I was pretty much on my own for about an hour.  

My daughter had gone out to dinner with my mom and my son passed out early.  Have I mentioned he gave up napping last week?  I don’t mind it but the babysitter will.  No worries, he’ll transition back.

Anyhoo, I was lying on the floor in the playroom, that’s normal right?  Thinking, “Hey, I can watch some Netflix right now!”

At some point this summer I was possessed by an insane female creature with probably too much estrogen in her veins.  I say this because there was a Nicholas Sparks movie on my “list”.

I looked at the t.v. and thought – “what?”

Look, I liked Nicholas Sparks in the early 00’s when I was too immature to realize his stuff is….crap.  I mean seriously guys.  The first book I read of this jokester's made it sound like Asheboro was in the mountains.  Fool, you ain’t from no North Carolina, stop playin’.

(Asheboro is more central NC.  He obviously is as confused between

(Asheboro and Asheville as my husband)

(Yeah, I said it.)

So look, I read three of his books and gave up.  They were the same thing over and over.  He just killed the opposite spouse so we would change up the widower/widow character and the drama was always the same if you asked me.

Yawn, sigh, bored.

Well, I guess I thought maybe I should give whatever movie this was a shot.  So I did... for twenty minutes.

I really love the mysterious blogger Military Wife & Pug Life – she does some awesome recaps of the Oscar winning films produced by Lifetime (bahahaha).  Well as I was watching the whole twenty minutes I could fathom of this Nick Sparks novel I could envision her commentary on it.

Then I realized why I hated Nicholas Sparks movies….

They are Lifetime crap films that even Lifetime isn’t showing on the regular.

Here’s the gist of the low budget, crap movie, whose title I cannot remember that I wasted twenty minutes of my life on….

Main character man on oil rig….oil rig explodes….miraculously he saves two lives and doesn’t die after plummeting into the sea.  

Doctor tells him he is a miracle and should be dead.

Amazing – he has no cuts, bruises, scratches, broken anything, he’s perfectly well and shows no battle wounds.

Main character female is at her nice suburban home with her teen kid who is about to graduate high school.  They are looking at the stars.  She has that look of perfect sadness.  You immediately know this chick is 1000000% unhappy with her life.  Shocker.

Fast forward – miracle man who went by the name Dawson (are you kidding me….can we just change his last name to Creek instead of Cole and make this full circle lame) is at his trailer home near the bay drinking a beer and he gets a call some guy has died and he has to go to the lawyers office.

The scene prior was our sad housewife (whose name was Amanda, hard to forget that name) getting the exact same call.  We met her douche-bag spouse who looks like a used car saleslman a couple scenes back.  Anyhoo, he’s angry somebody died and says something like, “Don’t go because you’ll probably meet your high school flame who will treat you like a queen and then you’ll have a major decision to make – leave me and my ass hat self for a guy who really loves you or stay with me and my ass hat self and hate your life.”

Yep, so she goes to the hometown where the person has died and of course she sees our miracle man and he sees her and you know they are all like ooohhh baby baby but she says she has to leave and he’s all sullen and quiet.

Then the flashback starts.

High school shows us that miracle man is a strangely mid-twenties looking guy who is trying to play a 12^th grader.  Weird.  He has a bad haircut and I keep thinking he’s going to turn into a zombie because the guy looks like a zombie.  He has no personality and is a robotic type good guy who helps people when their cars have disconnected battery cables.  What?  Yes.

Meanwhile this Amanda chick is a popular sundress wearing chick who isn’t afraid of a boy.  She comes on to him twice before I turned it off.  Of course he's a little zombie man and doesn't get it.

What really made me say, "This is the stupidest film I’ve seen since Hot Tub Time Machine," was this:

We see Miracle Man as a teenager going to his home.  Well I’m not sure what all was going on but I swear I saw a guy shooting a gun for no reason, targets, hillbillies, a dirty prosto, and a strange dad who looked like he was either a preacher or a Pinkney officer.  I was so lost by that scene that I was like – this is stupid and I cannot kill brain cells watching this.

Yep, twenty minutes of a Nicky Sparks movie was enough for me. I feel like I know how it ended.  I mean I have read some of his books before and as I already stated….redundancy is his life's work.

Oh crap...somebody reading this was totally into this movie and they are offended.  Sorry 'bout that.

What films can you not stand to watch?

Blogger Sisterhood Award x3

I received a few noms for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers.  Thank you so much for those noms ladies, you are so sweet and I'm so glad we are feverishly reading each other's blogs.

At first I wasn't going to participate but while drinking my coffee and getting another email on it I decided to do it.  I'm using the questions Ashley sent me.

1.)  What is your favourite beauty tip?
Wash your face every night.  Exfoliate weekly!
2.)  What is your ideal Saturday?
Sleeping in until 8:30, a lazy breakfast, and then off to adventure for the day, finalizing the day with dinner with friends and drinks!
3.)  Who would you take with you if you were a contestant on "The Amazing Race"?
I cannot answer this because <gasp> I do not watch it.
4.)  If you could have any "superpower", what would it be?
The power to go invisible!
5.)  If you could rid the world of one fashion trend, which trend would you choose?
Two words:  Acid Wash
6.)  Do prefer cooking or baking? (Or neither?)
Cooking.  I don't bake things pretty!
7.)  What is your favourite junk food?
I would say Snickers but that's totally healthy right?
8.)  What is your favourite song to belt out in the car?
This may make you gag but I love some T Swift - old school hits when she was pop I mean country or new school hits when she's pop I mean rap.
9.)  What is your biggest pet peeve at the grocery store?
Using food stamps to buy your buggy of junk food and then pulling out a Ben to pay for your booze and smokes.
10.)  What motivated you to start blogging?
A few things including my love to write and keeping up with my life via this cool platform.

Alright the Q's from Katie

How has blogging enhanced your life?

Well I absolutely love the friends I have made through blogging and I adore getting to do what I love....write!

What's your favorite guilty pleasure show?

Anything Bravo.

What are you reading now?

Sadly, nothing.

What are three things you can't live without?

My phone, my family, coffee.

Morning Person or Night Owl?

Generally morning person but I'm finding often I'm also a night owl.

What season do you think is easiest to dress for?

Summer - tanks and shorts baby!

Have you ever done anything that's taken you out of your comfort zone?  If so, what?

Yes it was called college.  Then it was called being a mom.

Where is your favorite place to visit?

Asheville, NC or the coast.

What genre of music is your favorite and why? 

I listen to way more country these days.  I don't know because it is so popish or because its got a smooth R&B back beat?

What would your perfect day entail?

See the question set above!

And from Claire!

1.  How did you decide on a blog name?

My nickname in school was Brownie (from my last name Brown).

2.  What tip would you offer new bloggers?

I still feel new so I don't think I have any tips other than REPLY to comments and if they are no-reply then go visit their page!

3.  What was your dream job growing up?

Journalist.  Yeah I epic failed on that attempt and got a crap degree instead.

4.  What would you love to get paid to do now?

Blog LOL ---- or be a Kardashian.  Well not be one but get paid to just drive around, eat, and whatever.

5.  What is your favorite season?

Summer....but I admit that I enjoy spring & fall too. I hate winter.

6.  What is your favorite summer outfit

See the question set before this.

7.  What is your favorite summer drink?

White wine, or a rum based concoction.

8.  Favorite summer memory?

Beach trips for sure!

9.  Who would play you in a movie about yourself?

Hmmm....good question.  I think we all love Reese.

10.  What is your favorite tip for balancing all the "in betweens" in your life?
Realizing I'm not in control and giving it over to God to handle.  He's the Captain I'm the ship.

If you haven't been nominated for this challenge....I nominate you.

xo

Tasty Tuesday

Hey you.  Happy Tasty Tuesday!  If you aren’t aware I started a new Sunday post called Let’s Eat.  It has our meal plan for the week on it and includes all three main meals and snacks.  Go check it out!  I’ll link to it at the bottom.

Now back to Tasty Tuesday!

Today I have a serious question.

What is your most favorite food ever?

What is the food that you couldn’t exist without?

Is it something as simple as Cheerios or is it more esteemed like a truffle and gold pizza that costs around $2,400.00? 

And you thought I was kidding.

The other night I was thinking about this question…favorite food?  And it hit me.  There is one food that if removed from my options would leave me extremely, terribly, in the depths of despair.

It is….

A hamburger!

Hold the cheese I’m not a cheeseburger fan.  I am a hamburger girl.  I don’t want dairy fighting the deliciousness of beef for the gold trophy from my taste buds.  I want the deliciousness that is red meat cooked over an open flame.

I really like my burgers rare.  I’m also a rare steak girl.  I like them juicy and covered in white slaw, mustard, tomato, and pickle.

I think that may be a southern thing – white slaw.  For you non Southerner’s white slaw is a mayo based slaw with cabbage, a little vinegar, and sugar.  Dear Lord I could eat it straight from the bowl (like my daughter does).

 

I’m not a strictly beef burger girl.  I also love turkey burgers.  I treat them just like the classic made-from-a-cow burger.  Keep your cheese and give me my requirements of slaw, mustard, tomato, and pickle.

Butterball makes a great turkey burger if you’re interested.  So does Bubba Burgers!

My favorite burger joint is Bad Daddy’s.

Bad Daddy’s turned me into a black bean burger girl with the Cantina Burger.  Holy sweet lord they are so good.  I mean so good.  

Get it crispy and you’ll be so happy to eat that bad boy.

The Cantina Burger is breaking my rule of no cheese.  However, it isn’t a beef burger; it’s a bean burger so cheese is OK.  They top the burger with an avocado chipotle dressing….y’all it is so good I think I need to stop blogging this second and go get one right now!

Bad Daddy’s is currently only in North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Colorado.  Yeah, that’s weird.

I’ve never had a few burgers out there that are popular.  Maybe you have?

Burgers with eggs on them baffle me.  I don’t keep my chickens in my cattle barn so why do I want to mix eggs with beef?  I’ve been told it’s extremely delicious.  However, my cholesterol level may be displeasing if I try it and then even more so if I like it.

Burgers with butter in them make me contemplate the level of effectiveness of various health initiatives.  I’m not even kidding.  People will put butter in the red meat and on top of it and then eat it.  I think that is the true heart attack special.  Butter is good and all but c’mon y’all no way!

Donut burgers, really?  Really.  I think this is a fair style food but I also think it is stupid.  You take two donuts and use them as a bun and slide the burger in between.  I’m sure it is just heavenly but it’s making me hurl.

I think I’ll just stick to my traditional hamburger or my Cantina burger or turkey burger.

How about you?  What is your most favorite food?  How creative can you be with ways to make it? 

Oh and here’s the link to Let’s Eat!  Out every Sunday on the blog!