Wow Wednesday: Spring Clothing {laughing}

One of my weaknesses this time of year is refitting my closet for a new (much more fun) season.  I decided to take to the internet and find some fresh new looks for 2014.
Here are some of the gems I found worth sharing:


1.  Are you wasting time sud-sing up?



Good news bitches!  The wet look is apparently back.  No more wasting time washing your hair.  We can all look like nasty kids and emit odors all in the name of fashion!  How will you do your wet look?  Extra oil?  Extra product?  Or all natural?  Just go natural and save on your shampoo budget!

2.  Bedding Dresses



I am nearly 100% sure my grandma had this spread on her bed from 1992-1996.  Glad to see it can be re-purposed as a dress that looks like a hot mess of i-just-got-busted-in-a-bad-way....

3.  A little black dress



Tom Ford really knows how to design a great black dress.  This would be appropriate for most normal American women to have for a little evening outing right? (And yes this is classified as a little black dress...no cocktail or formal or lets get nekkid)...Oh and this is all I could show of this piece.

4.  Child Inspired



I hope Carter's gets a kick back on this.  I mean how many times have you looked at your two year old's pajamas and thought, I really wish I had a shirt in that cut and pattern?  Yep, well BOOM! its out there now.

5.  Flattery



I guess those darn Amish are really taking the English by the horns.  Yep, that's Posh spice in an obvious shout out to all Amish and Anabaptists out there.  What the hell Posh?  I mean if it makes that waif look like a mountain of a woman then um....yeah burn it and fast.  (I keep going back to look at this disaster....seriously who?)

6.  Lets go French and repent!



Oh my God?  This is from Milan.  This is something I so want to wear not ever. HOWEVER, if I ever see a nun sporting either of these looks I'll be attending mass at her church because I don't think I'll be falling asleep.

7.  Now this is French!



Yeah this is totally what I think of when I think French.  I need this for Easter Sunday when Madge and I go to the mass of those nuns above this one.  That's hot.....IF YOU'RE BY THE DAMN POOL.  Be honest, you see a girl wearing that and you're like "OMG its a real hooker!"

8. Michael Kors



I used to like him.  Then he started making clothing for my grandma circa 1993.

9.  Hello Sir



What?  You're packing a vagina?  Whoa.  Sorry sir, I mean MA'AM!

10.  Birds of a feather



Live up her skirt obviously.  And why is it that now the old lady colored rinses are so damn awesome?  I mean really I spent many years staring at blue haired, lavender haired, and peach haired old ladies and wondering when they went color blind.  Now, I see my peers going for easter egg grey by bottle hues.  The world is crumbling huh?

11.  Fears



I am going to be honest and say I love this dress (even though I'm not a fan of florals such as this).  However, my greatest fear on a dress like this is that I show the portal that my children entered the world through....