5 Minute Friday: Write

Good word...today's prompt word is:

write

And to be honest I have to add an -ing apparently.  I noticed this after I did my five minutes of straight typing.  

------

Ready....start.

I started writing a long, very long, time ago.  No, not my ABC's and my name but actually writing as a release and as a therapeutic method of dealing with life.  The writing got the attention of some teachers and when I was thirteen I won an aware by a bunch of snooty women.  Then I put the writing down and decided I wasn't going to do it anymore.  I mean I had bigger fish to fry like listening to my Nirvana CD's on repeat.

At one point in that time I thought I wanted to write again.  I thought I wanted to be a journalist.  No, not the anchor woman kind but the old school typewriter and note pad kind.  Then I decided I couldn't possibly do that I had to do something different something a long the lines of "normal"....hmmm?

Writing faded from me until I felt myself falling into an uncontrollable sadness.  I lost my "Mammaw" (who would have been 81 this weekend had she not been taken to glory) abruptly.  I was hurt.  My heart really hurt for the first time in my life.  It was a pain I couldn't explain.  I had things to tell her!  I had things to ask her!  I had conversations that needed to occur.

Now they were gone.  The chances vanished.

A few weeks after her passing I was sitting in my apartment alone and I grabbed a pen and a notebook.  I started writing....just letting it flow out of me like a bleeding heart.  You couldn't stop the words.

I wrote very personal, intimate words to her.  I shared with her things no one knew about me and my hopes and my fears.

And the writing re entered my life.

They say we shouldn't look back only forward.  I wish I would have went somewhere different with my career choice and stuck to the guns of that 14 year old girl.  But I didn't.  God didn't plan on me to do that either.

When a door closes and window appears that is often times unlocked.  

I found the blogging world.

Maybe I didn't go forward with what I really wanted to do but maybe the Maker showed me I could still do what I loved on a different level....and minus any pay (kinda funny considering the teaches of Jesus and that money is nothing....it isn't but man it would help out a little!)

Stop my 5 minutes are up.

------