We're nearly over this month of love and winter. I'm so glad. February is not and has never been one of my favorite months. In my top 12 it is number 12.
Continuing with my Thursday theme of sharing things I love on Thursdays....today I share with you my love for those gone.
Gone means two different things to me.
1. Gone for now.
2. Gone for good.
I have love for both.
My Gone For Now Group
My Mammaw. The impact she made on my life is huge. She was stripped from this world really quickly and it was terribly painful for a lot of people. Though she is gone for now I will see her again (because I have faith) and when I do that love that I felt for her will not have to be renewed because it never went away. If anything my love for her will be amplified. I have walked this earth with her (taken for granted) and without her (in hurt) and the joy when we meet again will be so immense and overtaking....I look forward to that moment.
My Dad-o. I was not very close to this man. I spent a lot of time with him. We ate breakfast together every morning for 7 years. We ate lunches and dinners together a lot too. We didn't talk a lot. I watched him more than I shared words with him. However, I know he loved me. He was a good man with a good heart and a kind soul. I love him. My love for him grew as I watched him die for many years. He didn't want to leave his bride he fought so hard. He was true love come to life with my mom-o.
My Mom-o. The woman of my Demented Thursday posts. She still resides here in flesh. However, a lot of who she really was is faded away. Though it is hard to accept that who she is now is not who she truly is but who her disease makes her....I still love her. She was never my favorite grandparent because she ridiculed me and judged me more than any of my other grandparents. She did love me in those harsh comments she made of me when I was younger. It was just the way she loved me that I didn't understand.
Those forever gone.
There are many people in my life I have been very close to that I will never see again.
It is by choice.
For me to write them off like a bad check would be a devastating idea.
Each one of them took me down a road in life that taught me a lesson, gave me a good memory or two, and then pushed me on down a new road that led me to where I am right now. Sitting in a kitchen, drinking coffee, typing a blog post with my son at my feet blowing me kisses, my daughter cuddled up with her dad on the couch, and the man I ended up with drooling out the side of his mouth (it is 9 AM on a Sunday).
Each one of those friends or lovers wasn't the right one for me but for a little piece of time in my life they were the right person to lead me to finding the next experience/person/event that would begin the completion of this thing called life. They would be warranted chapters in my story that would be heartbreaking, freedom finding, and just plain stupid. They would be the people that are considered stepping stones and in case you didn't know it those people God sets in our lives to help us get from point A to point B are critical. Without them we are just stuck on one spot.
I love them all.
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