Black Death I mean FRIDAY

(Read with British fairy tail voice)
Once upon a time, in a land not too far away, Brownie would awaken at
(insert Snoop Dog voice here)
two in the morning
(back to British fairy tail voice)
and go shopping with all the other possible lunatics of the village.  She would first stop to get coffee and then make her way to stand in lines in the cold.
(Insert Dateline voice here, you know the old white guy's creepy questionable voice)
And then she stopped.....buy why?

Here's why!



1.  I like to sleep.

Though I don't get to much anymore I do like the idea of being asleep at 2 AM.



2.  I can totally wear that hipocritical sash of reason.

It is called "No one should have to work on Thanksgiving" and it is followed by, "Honey, I'm going to Walmart ok?  They have a great deal on food containers!  See ya soon!"  Which is said on Thanksgiving evening around 8:00 PM.



3.  Have you ever stood in line?

My Lord people!  One Black Friday I stood in line, in the freezing cold, in the dark, behind two women who had apparently had some military training about how to go in and take over a Kohl's.  Forget that.



4.  Have you been shopping with me?

Chances are:  No.  But for a few of you who may read this today you have and you are laughing (I see you Ashley and you know we're one in the same).  I'll go shopping and I'll load down the cart, no problemo.  I'll say things like, "Wow what an amazing deal!"  or "Oh this is PERFECT!"  But do I mean it?  Hell no!  When I get ready to get in line I will look at that cart and say, "I don't even want this crap."  Then I'll ditch it and leave and go get another coffee.



5.  Let's be honest though.

I won't get up at 2AM.  But I will probably hit an early morning sale on some things I know we need for the house.  Chances are it will be after all the "deal seekers" have returned to their homes with their cars so weighted down they drag the asphalt.  That's okay with me.  I'm so ready for Cyber Monday!

Elves & Evil Shoppers

Yes, we have one.  His name is Red.  He came to our home last year.

Can I just say whoever came up with this idea is a freakin' rock star?  Seriously!  If I want my kid to mind her p's and q's by gosh that Elf can get it done.

Apparently, you can bring your Elf back at any time you see fit during the year.  I read the book and there is nothing saying you have to wait until Thanksgiving night.  I do believe that is a good rule of thumb though.  Think about it....if I would have brought Red back in September I seriously doubt that thing would have the amazing power he has from Turkey Day - Christmas Eve.

This year I have been toying with how the small, over priced retro decoration will make his grand appareance.  I had a few ideas and I'll pass them along.

1.  In a wrapped box, nestled under Christmas pajamas, popcorn and hot cocoa packets.  I saw the box of pajamas and stuff on a post my friend Ashley put on Facebook a month ago and thought that would be a cool way to reintroduce him.

2.  In the "mail" - that's how he arrived anyway.  Wrap a shipping box in red paper and set it on the porch like FedEx had brought it by.  Side note:  my daughter gets letters from Santa three times a year to let her know that he sees her and what she needs to work on or be praised on.  Mail is pretty important.

3.  Just stuff him somewhere and see if she spots him.

I'm leaning towards number one.

I'm also debating on him coming the day before Thanksgiving or the actual Turkey Day.  I had thought it would be cool for us to get back from our mountain adventure and for her to find the present in the middle of the floor.  Ok....that excites me.

So what are you guys thinking?  Do you have an EOTS?  Share your ideas with me and my readers.  We'd love it.

_____

Black Friday is upon us but I think that term is out dated.  Should we call it Materialistic Thursday?

I am saddened that Thanksgiving - a holiday that gets ran over by Christmas (hello my last few posts) is now getting trampled by people out to "get a deal"...

I used to be a Black Friday shopper.  I would fuel up on black coffee at 2am and stand in lines with other insane asylum cohabitants.  Now that I look back on it I never scored an incredible deal...those generally came a week or two later.

I do not miss the thrill of the woman stomp woman or man shoot man shopping event.

The real reason I quit Black Friday Shopping?  It is the fact humans become evil over a toy that a kid will play with for a day and then say they are bored with.  Does that make any sense?

So as I type this I realize there is something that I want and it totally screws me over:

1.  It is priced extremely well. (I am a tightwad)

2.  It is only offered on Thanksgiving evening.  (No one should have to work during Thanksgiving except medical professionals and policemen, they are necessary to taking care of the woman who stomped the other woman for the Barbie and the man who shot the other man over a television set.)

3.  Though it be something no one else cares about I would have to be around those demented nut jobs who have been gearing up for this event for the 364 days prior to it coming to life. (And they can cause me to be rather ill.)

Ah hell...I think I am in between a rock and a hard space on this one.

What do you think?