Lets just jog first.
A jog to me was a run to him.
It'd been over a month since I last pounded any pavement. Before that it had been a month. Before that it had been two months. Before that it had been 10 months. Slowly sickening of my new physique and physiological changes I was ready to get back to me pre pregnancy.
Diet changes - done.
Exercise - habits needed to be adjusted.
January isn't my month to start a change. Too many people fall for that whole New Year New Start BS the media plays to a hilt. February is my month to rexamine and reshape.
Realization number 1: I don't need to change anything.
Change is a big word. Change takes a lot of determination and self trust. My word for this mission is revert.
I needed to revert to the way I viewed working out 12 months ago. It was a daily ritual - just as taking the morning piss after rolling out of the bed is.. I had continued working out until three months into my pregnancy when my doctor told me I had to stop due to placental issues.
My realization is I need to revert back to my old ways. I need to plot my exercise that I will do every day. And no....housework doesn't count.
Realization number 2: My nutrition needs to be tweaked.
I'm a pretty healthy eater. Nutrition has been a huge fascination for me for over ten years. You are what you eat. Your blood cells, bones, and certain organs regenerate brand new every day/month/year and what are those cells made of? What you are taking in! So, yes you are what you eat!!! I do not want to have bones made out of Oreo cookies and white bread and Mtn Dew. So I have to tweak my choices again.
Important tip: Never withhold anything from yourself. (Ok unless its smoking, meth, crack, bath salts, etc) You only need two to three bites to have craving satisfaction. But if two or three bites leads to two or three rows of oreos ---- back away.
Realization number 3: I am so damn out of shape.
Thinking I was still my 29 year old self I felt like I should readily be available to pound the pavement with little to no issue. Asthma attack and angina later (ok maybe not that far) I realized once the ark has been broken apart you can't sail it with ease again. It takes picking up each piece of wood and slowly nailing it all back together to get a usable ship.
No....I'm not going for any out of the gate runs but I am going to be smart and not hurt myself. I'll be building back up open door running crazy-mad-until-I-hit-runner's-high-and-not-even-knowing-I-am in-motion-on-my-own-accord and that includes doing more walking before sprinting.
My cardio has got to get back in check.
My strength is long gone.
It will all come back.
*******************************************
So channeling my younger self of a decade ago I picked my eggs up out of the fridge and some ham, threw it in the pot this morning, drank 16 ounces of water and a half a cup of coffee. I ran my mommy errands. Then came home to slowly suicide away the melting candle me to hopefully see the me I know quite well and am proud of in a bathing suit....... within the next three months.
100 Jumping Jacks, 40 lunges, 40 squats, 100 high knees, 40 butt kickers, 40 side lunges, 20 leg lifts, 100 crunches..........and call the ambulance I may die now.
I kicked my own ass. I laid in the floor telling the baby - "I love you. I hope I don't die now."
******************************************
And that's the whole point: I hope I don't die now.
Look, I am fully aware and competent of the fact that we can go at any moment. Every day, hour, minute, second is a gift. For all intents and purposes I want my passing to be one of those - well that wasn't her fault....she did everything she could to be a healthy humanoid.
Cardiovascular disease took my paternal grandma (2.9. entry) and maternal grandpa. It has already rocked my maternal uncles and one paternal uncle, and it has awakened my paternal grandpa.
The crappiest part of the heart story: heart disease does not wait until you are older! It can hit you at 20, 30, 40, 50. Genetics play a part but your personal choices make a HUGE impact.
Your heart is a muscle - kick it into gear.
Even though I fell on the floor and screamed out in what felt like a dying moment it was a living moment - I made my heart jump start itself back on the path of strong beating....and it was forcing that blood to all my hidden muscles.
My scream, my cry, my death groan from forcing myself to push on and get the exercise to completion was a cheering section from my Mammaw Della and my Dadd-o Edd up in heaven - they were cheering me on and it came out of me as a cry - a life cry. They were saying YOU CAN DO IT! While I was screaming I'M GOING TO DIE! They were screming back, NO YOU'RE NOT! While I moaned back: I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I'M GOING TO DIE! They kept yelling: APPRECIATE YOUR LIFE AND YOUR BODY! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
*******************************************
To be accountable for my health and to help other people on this journey I've got a new blog starting up....its going to be crazy fun (I hope).
It is called Ramblings of a Bottle Blonde and you'll be able to link to it from this blog.
I'm taking my education, personal experience and personal trials and errors and successes to hopefully help everybody else. Anyone can join me virtually. You won't hear anymore of my exercise/healthy living rants on this blog. It will all be found on Ramblings of a Bottle Blonde.
********************************************************************************
Love yourself.
Your existence depends on no one else in this world but
you.
********************************************************************************Ramblings of a Bottle Blonde
Until we meet again -
Brownie
No comments:
Post a Comment
I really appreciate your comments! Let's connect!