Happy Monday. I am a tad bit tired. Baby has a cold....a bad one. Bad cold = no sleep. We were up all night with boogers, snot, coughs. Being a good wife I told the husband to sleep downstairs and I would handle the little man.
And Jesus wept.
So, how was your weekend?
My daughter was possessed by Satan over the weekend. She was full of mean taunts and brutal honesty. She refused to do what she was told to do. She was pushing me to the edge with every baby blue bat of her eyes.
By Saturday afternoon I had to get away from all humans under 6 years old. The hubby bid me farewell and I took to the interstate. Three hours away....three hours of no mouthy, boundary jumping blondes or diaper changes and bottles. Liberation.
When I, reluctantly, returned home she was so dripping nice that I just had to roll my eyes (Boehner style) and not let down my guard.
The hubs and I held a parental unit meeting and decided we had to buckle down on some things. I am far from perfection and happily admit my shortcomings as a mother. I am not embarrassed and can totally share my issues and perceived resolutions.
1. Bed time cannot fluctuate.
A long time ago (last year), I was one of those moms that felt like the kid would fall asleep when she wanted to and get enough sleep. That had been working for us - with beauty! But like all good things - it ended. The need for a set bedtime - prior to 9pm - came after the baby was born. The first set bed time? 8:00. That was fine. But as the joys of being a stay at home mom began to wear on me the bed time moved to 7:45. That was not fine. 7:45 gave me reprieve but not my child. She would lay in her room (and I use the word lay very lightly) until 11:00 looking out towards the light of the livingroom. Never once closing an eye. I tried to make the 7:45 bed time stick. However, its hard to have an early bed time when you have extracurriculars. Dance class was from 6-7. We generally eat after dance. Considering the child gets out of dance at 7 then is in the car for fifteen to twenty minutes to come back home bed time had to be changed. Then we added in church night which doesn't end until 8pm so we were going from bed at 7:45 to bed at 8:15. It wasn't working. I wanted it to work so badly that I was parenting badly. I was using my time, our time, her time badly.
The end result: bed time every night of the week - weekends no longer excluded - 8:30pm.
How does this work? Soccer, church night, and dance will be over at least thirty minutes before bed time. There will be no fluctuation in the bed time at all. Yes, there will be times when she is ten minutes later getting her lights out but it won't be a drastic amount of time as it has been in the past. She needs plenty of rest and I need at least some sabbatical time in the evenings too. It is a happy balance.
2. Bye bye movie at rest.
We took all her DVDs out of her room. You would have thought we were leading her to the electric chair by the way she reacted. Quickly we loaded down our arms with Veggietales, Hello Kitty, Disney, Barbie etc in and took them into a secret bunker. (A gift bag in a closet).
Television is fun and wonderful and you all know of my addictions (tonight Dallas and Monday Mornings and How I Met Your Mother). However, television can negatively impact the little brain and sleep cycle of these tiny humans. There are no more nights of falling asleep to Priness and the Pop Star. Wait, there will be nights of that but it will be a reward system.
3. No more visits to undermining.
I love my family that loves my child. They are golden. However, I have to admit there is a problem when mom and dad are teaching one way and the golden family members are totally throwing out all strive to instill in our child.
On the way to town on Saturday my child said to me - "I wish _____ was my mommy. I would love her and I would do what she told me to." This icey comment came after my child was given orders to finish cleaning up her room - straighten up her closet and put her bows in her bow box. It was apparently too difficult a task for a five year old. I told her she wouldn't be allowed to play until she had finished what I told her to do. This caused a very drama infused melt down.
My brain started up its engine. A few days before the child had been at one of the golden family member's homes and I had witnessed how terribly RUDE my child had been to the adult. I mean rude - we're talking mouthy and ugly. To which the adult responded - "That's how little ones are. She doesn't mean anything by it." I bit my tongue. I knew if I said something it would be taken completely out of context. As soon as we were in the car and buckled I made a few remarks to the child about the events I had witnessed. Including: "You know you never talk or treat anyone that way!" "I am so embarassed!" -----
We teach her how to carry herself and treat others and then she goes to see the goldens and its all blown out of the water. No, I do not allow my child to talk rude or mean to me or any other person but when I'm not around and patroling the waters the goldens are allowing her to be everything I teach her not to be.
End result: nix the visits.
There will be a few weeks before the child is allowed to visit the goldens again. She has to learn that rude, annoying, dispicable behavior is not warranted anywhere....whether mom and dad are around or not.
4. We have a room for sleep and a room for play - discriminate.
Toys are only allowed in the Play Room. Sleep/rest is allowed in the bedroom. We have no tolerance for play in the bedroom anymore. The reason behind this is simple: her room was becoming a disaster area that she wasn't cleaning up because Barbie, Lala Loopsy, and Polly Pocket had had a massive rave in there and the Lego police marked it a condemned area so it wasn't getting cleaned up.
If there are toys in her bedroom - she's not sleeping she's playing. The bedroom is for sleep. She has some stuffed animals in her bedroom but all the other stuff is only in the play room.
5. No more lax style on the schedule.
I had fell into the "I have a baby and therefore anything goes for a while" pattern. I have to own up that yes I have baby but he's not five weeks old - he's five months old and he has a schedule therefore the five year old must be back on her strict schedule. I sat down over the weekend and tweaked the old schedule. I am not allowed to deviate away and neither is she. Children need regular routines - she's getting back on it. It will help me out too!
6. You are the princess but I am the queen.
This is so important. Children are not our rulers. They are our students. So many times we allow our princes and princesses to reign over us and that is such a terrible kingdom to live in. I am thirty one I think I know a little more about life than a five year old. We have to teach our young royals that no matter what they think - they are not Queens and Kings, they are princes and princesses who if they pay attention to their mommies and daddies then they will eventually be Queens and Kings all too soon.
The Queen and King make rules so that the young royals can grow to be strong, healthy, smart, hopefully happy rulers of their own homes one day.
So I'll keep you up to date on the child and the mom and the household and let you know how things go.
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Other exciting events of the weekend included going to watch the competition dance teams practice their routines. Let me just say - dancing has went ummm....dancing has changed since my days of the early 90s. Here's hoping recital costumes will be dirt cheap considering bras and panties are the new attire!
Target had their formula dirt cheap over the weekend! Last weekend I scored a five dollar gift card (thanks Jen for telling me about this) after spending $5 per pack of Pampers ($10 total, minus $5 back on a gc = 70 diapers for $5). So this week I applied my $5 gc to a canister of formula (sorry breastfeeders you can go on with your milk producing self) $8 spent!
I went to church for the first time in a few weeks. Leave it to that place to make you feel like you are subhuman if you don't get to come regularly. Many people snubbed me - got to love that "Christian love" feeling. It has been on my heart for a long time to find some where more fitting for myself and my family. I think I'm getting all the messages it is ok to do so....guess its how the Pope was feeling ha! It was refreshing that the Sunday I get to go back the church is welcoming in two new members and also two Baptisms. One follows my blog - congrats girl!
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Cooked food - I love you like I love cooked food!
Saturday was Baked Sketti - because my hubby loves my baked sketti. I did a simple version this time.
1/2 box of whole wheat spaghetti
1 jumbo jar of Prego mushroom sauce
2 cans of mushrooms (drained and rinsed)
1 package of mozzarella
1package of four cheese blend
1 package of Armour Traditional Meatballs
Cook your noodles
Heat your sauce with meatballs on the stove top
Move your cooked noodles to the 9x13 dish
Top noodles with mushrooms
Pour the sauce and balls on
Cover in your cheeses
Place in a 350 degree oven for 10 minutes (let that cheese melt)
Eat.
Sunday I baked some deliciousness - White Pineapple Cake (put me in a kitchen and watch what I can do baby)....
Get ya a white cake mix & can of pineapple tid bits or chunks or crushed - separate the fruit from the juice and save the juice
Prepare as directed - when you see a 1/3 c oil exchange it for 1/4 c oil.
Mix it with your mixer then dump in your pineapple tidbits
Bake as directed
Glaze:
When you take your cake out of the oven let it rest for about 10 minutes then pour the glaze over the cake lightly.
The glaze will melt into the cake and you will experience a palate of pure happiness.
Yummy!
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Until we meet again -
Brownie
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