Love Your Cooch (Just read this!)

Guess how I am starting my February and my week?

Very true guys who stumbled upon this post.  If your girl doesn't know what this is then she might be dirty and not the dirty you are so incredibly excited about.

With my legs in the stirrups.  

I cannot tell you (every year) how vital it is for you to get your lady parts checked.  Cervical Cancer is no joke and does not care who you are.  Ovarian - same thing. Breast, well ditto.

These evil bitches are out to wreck you.  Do your part!  Go see your Internist, Family Doctor, or gynecologist!  Make the appointment - it isn't hard.  Go to the appointment - it is super easy!  All you do is get naked and give them thirty seconds to check you out.  It doesn't hurt (it is just a little awkward, until you have kids and you're like - yep here's my hoo hah...again....yee haw!) and it is such an easy way to save your life.

Those are some very important parts.  They can make life and they can take life.  Keep them happy and healthy.

It is really difficult for me to wrap my mind around thirty-something women who have never had this female physical completed.  So here's the deal if you haven't because you are afraid then stop being a pussy. Yes, that was a pun!  If I live close to you I'll hold your hand through the process.  You have to get this done.  No one is going to take care of your health for you.



And to let you know....

Last year I had my annual feel up and a couple days later (on a Friday) they called and left a message that they had to speak with me.  I fell apart.  We're women, we're wired to think the worst possible outcome, right?  I cried, prayed, cried, prayed, felt so incredibly weak and small.

Then a fabulous Pharmacy Tech who lives nearby gave me a ring to say I had an Rx to pick up.

My pap came back positive for a freakin' yeast infection.

The moral of the story is this -

Most of us will never have bad news but we still need to be checked each year to make sure we're in good health.  And not operating an organic brewery.

Love ya or I wouldn't have posted this.

xoxoxox

What's Up Wednesday?!?!?!

And just like that the first month of 2016 vanished.

Here's the monthly update...

1.  What are we eating this week?

Check out my Monday post - every Monday I share the menu with you!  I'm not very excited about eating.  I know this is weird but I'm not much into comfort food.  I have some strange issues I am aware.  For example:  I do not like mac n cheese. 

2.  What I am reminiscing about?

Last summer - I'm so ready to get in the water!  On Sunday we were at Dick's Sporting Goods and we looked at kayaks because the hubs and I enjoy doing that together.  We may buy a tandem for our summers.  That just excites me to no end!

3.  What I'm loving?

I have an addictive type of personality.  No, I'm not addicted to bad things but I am addicted to moving about and sweating and reaching goals.  I love this about myself.  Give me a goal and watch me meet it - may be a little slow and have some roadblocks but I will meet it.

4.  What we've been up to?

Well that whole winter weather event took some of our attention.

I've been maintaining the hacienda, getting the winter off of me, raising kids which means going a little crazier each day... ya know the regular.

The kids have been full of energy and chatter.

Pretty normal.

5.  What I'm dreading?

The yearly feel up next week.  I really don't care about it but the older I get the more I'm like ewww speculum.

6.  What I'm working on?

I'm a cheese ball....

Being a better me in 2016.

That is so freaking cheesey.  Really though I am working on being a much better 34 year old than I should care about.  This is where you say damn she's vain or damn she's going to have a bad midlife crisis in a few years.

7.  What I'm excited about?

Spring.  I mean duh, y'all.  I hate winter and spring is just a happy time for me.  Someone emailed me and said I shouldn't hate winter the way I do and I probably have SAD and I was like yeah you're probably right, Sherlock.  Now go get on a real case.

Sometimes I am a little mean girl.

8.  What I'm Watching & Reading?

Watching:

Making of a Murderer

Younger

Fixer Upper

The Middle

The Goldbergs

Can I say that Making is the tv show that captivates me because it is so ambiguous how corrupt that sheriff's department is.  My husband gets so pissed off at it he walks away and says, I'm done.  Of course thirty minutes later he's ready to watch it again.

Reading:

I just finished The Three Miss. Margarets.

This is a pretty good book based in Georgia (from the 1920's to present-ish day) and has a little crime mystery going on.  I think if you like Mary Kay Andrews you may like this book - it is missing the comedy that Andrews throws in her books.  I was led to believe this book had more comedy to it but I never was able to find it.

If any of you would like to read it I will mail it.  Just let me know in comments.  First come, first serve.

Now on to:

Shopaholic To The Rescue

I am a HUGE fan of the Shopaholic series.  I look forward to finishing this up over the weekend.

What I'm listening to?

Cue to ridiculousness slash cheeseball button....

I turn up the Bieber when he comes on.  Currently, this one has me smiling as I'm sweating.  I'm really just listening to whatever comes on Amazon when I press play.  Nothing in particular over here, bless it.

What I'm wearing?

Non Snow Days:

Work out clothes, sorry-not-sorry.

Snow Days:

Leggings and long sweatshirts

Pallazzo pants and long sleeve t-shirts.

SO freaking boring but comfy.

What I'm doing this weekend?

No freaking clue.  Probably swimming and crafting with the kids.  I had some invites to some fun stuff but had to decline and cancel due to changes to the schedule.  Tis life!  Make the most of it :)

Strip down and spread 'em

1.22.13 Its a panty dropping kinda day.

I guess my title for today's blog and my date note caught your attention.  You're such a vixen for continuing to read....

Today is the kind of day when you are reminded what it means to be a girl.  Its that day you wear your cutest or prettiest undies and make sure you smell oh so yummy good.  I bet you do a little "landscaping" in honor of this precious day on your calendar.  You sexy mama.

Today is the day you are going to do a little something something for you.

Yep, you guessed it....

You're getting your yearly physical.

Today was my day in the gynecological sun.  My year always starts off with a good ole feel up for the sake of staying healthy.  It went very well.  We women had a glorious time together - nothing beats a good five minutes of boobie mashing and KY jelly for the ovary check.

Everything looked good so said the doctor.

Advances in technology are to be celebrated people.  To think so many people do not take advantage of getting "checked" out due to fear baffles me.  I bet you know someone who is afraid to have a pap smear.  We all know that one girl (bless her cotton pickin' heart) who thinks that getting a pap smear rates up there with getting a labotomy. 

Truth be told....a pap smear or women's physical is not that bad at all.

When I was going to school for the public and working with the public in a very public place I would talk to young girls who were sexually active about getting checked out.  These sweet little naive babies didn't need to have babies (and in all honesty did not have any business getting down to business with any nasty boy in the first place).  When we would talk about getting on the pill they would freak out and say "I ain't letting nobody stick nothing up in me.  My (insert family member's relation here) told me that hurts."

Ok take a minute and if you are like Brownie, then you have this screwed up look on your face, you know the kind, when you expect something to be so good to the palate and instead it was made of rancid ingredients.

They aren't letting anyone "stick" anything up in them.  Well, how now brown cow I think that's a farce.  I believe the whole reason they were seeing me is because they were indeed letting something be stuck up in them. 

So we would discuss the procedure of being "papped" and then we would discuss how quick and painless it actually is - especially if you are already sticking things up there. 

Here's the deal:  You don't want cancer!  You want to prevent cancer!  You want to prevent your early demise! You don't want anything bad going on in your lady parts - and honey you got a lot of lady parts.  So you schedule your physical STAT.  It will take a whopping five minutes to get your boobies felt up and your cervix swabbed and your ovaries checked and then you walk out - no not like you have been riding bareback in the mountains of Wyoming but just the same way you walked in...normal. 

I challenge you to challenge yourself - if you are afraid - to make an appointment and GO to the appointment just to make sure everything down there and right there is kosher.  Chances are you are going to have the healthiest cervix and ovaries and boobs on the planet.  But it makes you feel so much better to actually hear that from the doctor.  And if you are cool going in for this female fun then challenge the person you know who is afraid to get it done!  You may save their life.

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I personally love my OB/GYN.  I started going to her the week my son was due.  Yeah you read that right.  I'm not kidding.  She was a referral because I had to get out of the trainwreck of the place I had been going. 

It is amazing to have a doctor who is so on point.  She's hilarious and straight forward and I am so glad I have her as my provider.  It means a lot to have a doctor like that.  I don't feel like a chart number there and that's awesome sauce. 

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Panty dropping leads to babies.  I'm not sure if anyone shared that with you.  Today there was an obvious panty dropper in the room beside mine.  It must have been the first time she dropped her panties because it was her first pregnancy.

I was listening in to her appointment.  I admit it.  Bad me.  But it was amazing to hear it.

She was nervous and scared and filled with questions.  She is at 32 weeks and was getting the quick classroom portion of fetal movement counting and the beginning of labor. Her main concern:  "What about the epidural?"  To which the response came - "Just ask and you'll get it."  Laughter - you know that reassured, whooo weee laughter.  Then I heard that sound that makes mamas stop dead in their tracks and tear up or smile or both....a horse gallop "babump babump babump" - if you're a mama you know what it is.  No, its not the magical unicorn of the OB/GYN its the sound of that baby in your tummy's heart.

Its that sound that reminds you there is indeed a little person in there. 

But more importantly it tells you they are still alive.  Not every mama gets this blessing.

It is a magical, wonderful, amazing sound.

It was really just six months ago that I was hearing that sound on the machine as we awaited our little boy's arrival but man does it seem like it was years ago. 

Fact:  I got a little teary eyed listening to the mama-to-be and the baby's heart beat.  I kinda thought, am I really done with that part of my life?  Have I truly decided to close down the baby factory for good?  Would I want three kids?

Then I woke up - check please!  I am done!  I am so thankful for my two little healthy blessings and for the fact I still have mental capacities!  I can still dress and feed myself, I am done! 

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Last night my husband shared some meals he'd like for dinner and I nearly passed out.  How many times have I asked him - "What would you like for dinner?"  And he responds, "I don't care."  I hate that!!!!  Pet peeve, yes you do care as to what you put in your gut, stop saying that!

So last night he named off several things.  It is funny what a hungry man will tell you.

Meatloaf was the dish of last night.  Yes, I know so foreign.  I will share the meatloaf recipe he likes. 

Tonight we will be having Chicken Alfredo.  (He really watches his waistline I tell ya)

But for now here is:

My hubby's favorite meatloaf.

1 lb of ground meat of your choice
1 egg
12 crackers
S&P for flavoring

Take all this stuff put it together (with your hands) and place it in a loaf pan.

On the stove top:
1 can of tomato sauce
1 can of water (use the tomato sauce can)
2 tbps brown sugar
1/3 c onions diced
2tbsp ketchup
Bring to a boil and let it boil for about a minute, remove from heat.

Pour a cup of the liquid in a bowl for use later.
Pour the remainder on the meat.

Pop in the oven (350 degrees) for one hour.

After you're done baking pour the 1 cup of liquid on top.

YUMMY per Brownie's hubby.

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Until we meet again (schedule your check, ladies) -

Brownie