Survival Tips for Chaotic Holiday Times

Oh what fun it is to admit the holidays are insane.  I have compiled a list of tips from my house to yours on coping with the holidays effectively and in a fun way.  I hope you will enjoy this read and share it for fun.  XO sweeties!

1.  Thank you for being a friend...

There is nothing in this world like having a best girlfriend.  It is especially true at this time of the year.  I can recall a time not so long ago (the past weekend) when all I wanted was some adult interaction.  My husband's work schedule leaves us a tiny window of time to effectively communicate the "meat and taters" of life let alone just gab and laugh.  This is where my best girlfriend comes in.  Over the weekend we were to have a phone date.  To say I needed this phone date is/was/will be a complete understatement.  I was going on day six of being a married single mom.  The morning had been tedious, the afternoon was a blur, and the evening was fun but man oh man did I crave an adult conversation!  The time came for our phone date, after the kids were nestled all snug in their beds (or after the sugar high and worn them down and they were drooling on themselves asleep with eyes open, it happens.)  I rang her up and got...voicemail.  Shot to the heart and you’re to blame.  The poor thing had had a busy day with her two boys and her husband just let her snore (she may kill me for sharing that) where she was.

Two days later we got that phone date.  In the midst of her getting off work and getting kids in the house, a dog walked, and referring a candy incident - we had a fabulous conversation!  One of those only us girls can have - serious, gross and left in giggles.

The key to survival in any season is a good BFF girlfriend who you can dial up and vent to and then be left laughing until your mom bladder has you peeing yourself.  It helps if she is in the same mommy boat or single boat as yourself as you will connect in just the right way.  If you do not have one of these precious gems then we need to talk and get that fixed immediately.

2.  Bourbon...

This is not the part of the post where I post of the joys of alcoholism.  Negative on this being where I tell you to put it on the binky when you have hit your breaking point either.  Indeed, this is where I share with you that at some point you will be so high strung and tight that you will need a tiny release.  Since I do not condone the use of illegal narcotics or your grandma’s stash of loopy controllers I will share that the one thing that will loosen me up is bourbon and some Coca-Cola.  I don't do this first thing in the morning but in the evening when you've had your fill of screaming kids, braggy-beotches, and the mountain of work that hasn't been accomplished - pour yourself about two fingers and some soda and unwind.  (But just one....this isn't Christmas Eve.)  If you have an aversion to spirits then crack open um…well…grape juice or something.

3.  Delilah....

You think you have problems?  Figure out what your local dentist chair music station is and turn it on after 7 PM and listen to the Delilah show.)  You're totally good, I promise.

4. Water...

I loosened you up with bourbon and now I turn the tables on you.  Truth be told we should all be in a state of pancreas strike during this time of year.  If you want to feel better then drink a lot of water.  With all the holiday foods (salty ones, sweet ones, high protein, higher fat) we need to ingest a whole lot of water.  And no, you don't have to put lemon in it, good Lord.

5.  Messy Activities...

Admitting I am a pretty A type person but I have B type tendencies in this DNA structure (seriously, how many letters can I use?)  This is that time of year when you need to let your B tendencies run freely.  My kids have the best time with paint (acrylic).  I buy some canvases (on sale extra cheap right now) and pull out my paint, cover the island with towels or paper and let them set their inner Van Gogh free.  You know what happens right?  I join in.  I fail to stress about the paint on my son's face, I don't go crazy over my daughter's lack of attention to detail, we just sit around and make masterpieces and have fun.  Here's the deal:  These are the moments I remember from being a kid - making a mess that did not get a standing yelling session because we were all having fun.

It should be known that these days I survive on coffee and play doh. I don’t get why parents freak out over Play Doh?  Keep it off the freaking carpet and on the table and supervise a little and you’re golden. Buy a few cans of the stuff and put the kids into a realm of sculpting.  They will have oodles of fun and their brains will grow and you'll get a break to do something like...laundry.  (Refer to number two for a better idea.)

6.  Gift yourself...

This isn't putting a bow on your person and being awkward.  You are an important individual who has a lot to do but that doesn't mean every second of every day has to be doing work.  If you work outside of the home then for the love of God take the toilet cleaning gloves off.  If you work inside the home then, well, do the same.  You like to read?  Then do it.  I promise I have talked to the good fairy and she said she will not cause your walls to break away from your home and crumble if you sit your butt down and read, paint, knit, watch Lifetime, do a Sudoku puzzle, paint your nails, shave your legs, catch a cat nap, eat Oreos, color in that “adult” coloring book (which I have issues with) or whatever.  So do it and make a point to carve out a good thirty minutes every evening or day time to do it.  It is a gift to you, take it!

7.  Evade debt....

Can I get an amen that we live in a society that is so materialistic we have made ourselves shopping stupid?  I hate to think we will see the day when oxygen gets branded.  Coach bags, Ugg boots, Under Armor thongs...give me a break.  If you have scads of cash to blow or no fear of the magic swipe then go ahead do your thing (and email me for a list of things I'd like to have but really don't need.)  But if you're sitting there at 1 AM looking at your bank statement and your shopping list then listen up...channel yourself.  Do you know how many people on your list do not want another blah blah to sit on a shelf and gather dust or hang in a closet never to be placed on yourself?  I'm calling for a socks and underwear revolution...just kidding.  I am calling for a self-check - a reality check too.  So many people are insanely talented with crafting, arts, baking, cooking and yet they think they need to go blow a load (bad choice of words, maybe it is the bourbon, oops).  Get crafty with your niche and make something awesome.  If you still think you're not doing enough throw in a slight gift card.  Gifts are fun and all that but remember....it is the thought that counts and sometimes just being in the presence of your loved ones and friends is enough.  OK, sometimes. 

8.  Dress pretty...

Some people get to get all dolled up for multiple events for the season and some of us don't.  This can be a fancy time of the year and I read studies where the majority of women like to get dressed up because it makes them feel more confident.  If you're stressed then maybe you need to take an extra fifteen minutes and put on more than concealer.  That "dressy" sweater you bought needs to worn.  Those diamond earrings need to be in your ears.  It doesn't matter if you're going to the post office, Walmart, McDonald's, or to get gas.  Take some time, dress pretty, make people wonder where that hottie is going.  (Don't take that as meaning you dress like a skank hoe.)

9. Re-eval your calendar...

If you're one of those people who have a full calendar of crap then maybe you need to have an intervention re-evaluation of all those pen and pencil marks.  Believe it or not you're not mandated to attend every single event you are invited to.  You also do not have to decide to try out for volunteer of the year in the 12th month of said year.  Running yourself ragged when it is unnecessary can be a huge road block to happy holidays.  Take time (after you read this post preferably) to look at what all you have going on and decide what you really want to attend and what you really want to skip.  Then do like your great aunt Nike said - just do it.  As in RSVP: I'm so sorry.  This time of year is busy and it is short cut the crap; create more time for things you really want to do.

10.  It is short...

 I just said that twice.  In college if a professor said something twice that meant it was important and you better remember it for 16 weeks. This time of year is a mere blippit on the radar of a calendar year.  Yet it is the most memorable time of the year every year.  This is when we remember big things that happened in the 11 months prior and embrace some sort of change.  Maybe you got married this year and this is the first Christmas as a spouse.  Maybe you had a kid, well Merry Christmas Parent!  Maybe you lost a loved one; that sucks and hurts.  Maybe you moved away, won the lottery, got some bad news, or some great news.  This season is impacted by the changes we faced over the year. Changes are reflected in every photo, video, get together, decoration, party, gathering, etc.  This is the time of year when our senses are heightened along with our emotions.  Your kids will grind your nerves, break your heart, and then leave you standing in a puddle of tears of happiness.  Your loved ones will drive you to the brink of four fingers of bourbon with no coke.  The get-togethers will be funnier and sometimes a little difficult. Love will be sweeter.  The downside: we will all be a year farther into this game of life and even farther removed from the ages of our youth.  Enjoy every single second of every single moment.  You will never get this 2015 holiday season again.  Savor, enjoy, and relax.