Confession

Ok...I'm going to share something that is tormenting me deep down today.  I have debated whether to share this with my readers or to keep it mum and under wraps.

I'm waging a war with myself...

Every day it creeps into my mind or comes into my vision path....

When I am out it stalks me...

It is a painful, dreadful, hard thing to deal with....

Ok here goes it, I'm letting it out there....

I'm afraid to be a mini van driving mom.

(What you were thinking it was something more serious?  Haha no way but this is serious....to me.)

You know the stigma that is attached to orthopedic shoes?  Yeah that same stigma is attached to mini vans for me.  Lately, we've been toying with the idea of getting one...for me to drive.  Slam-on-the-damn-brakes.

Look I know a lot of you drive them and that is fine!  I am glad you have them, you all look hot as shit driving them.  Me though?  Yeah I just don't think I could rock that bangin' mom look behind the wheel of a mini bus.  

I have issues with giving up my sedan for a special school bus.  I've been in a truck or car for well ever and moving to the big, spacious, roomy, mini van just scares me.  Am I losing my youth by looking in that rearview mirror to the second row seating and third row seating?  Am I losing my spunk by looking down on the fun cars of the girls and grandmas who need not drive a big vehicle to lug strollers and groceries and dance bags in?

What the hell?  So you're telling me I can live in the thing too...this is weird!

I do realize that vans aren't the bread trucks of the 90's and that they come with a lot of bells and whistles and cool stuff and enough room to possibly keep my sanity on long drives.  I just have some issues with being that mom....the one busting out some old school LL Cool J at the stoplight in her Odyssey or Town & Country or Quest or Sienna.  Those names are so uncool.  How stupid will I look belting out some Journey in a space van.....or getting my redneck on in the van named after a fashionable magazine?

Some of you are way smarter and saying, "Just get an SUV"....hehe funny thing.  Remember my whole self described queen of tightwads thing?  Yeah well most minivans get way better gas mileage than my personal favorite Yukon.  (However, if Chevrolet or their big brother GMC wants to send me one to test out for a few weeks, months, or years please do...)

When we look at filling up the gas tank I don't want to be dropping my life savings to Exxon ok?  So that's why I'm sitting here typing my gut wrenching oh-my-Lord-me-in-a-minivan blog entry.

Ok ok...lets get real....

Yeah, I know what I drive (car, truck, SUV, van, bicycle, horse, donkey) it doesn't matter.  

Yeah, I know life will be a bit better (space yes we know) with a mini van in the driveway.

Yeah, I know I'll end up liking it a little (see the space note).

Yeah, I know so I'll shut up (but also cry silently).

And to my best bud from way back when....you broke the pact first.