French words, flowers analogies, and common sense

2.22.13 Little tink tink got bail.

It is done.

I quote the Good Book with those short one liners.  My two favorite:

And Jesus wept.

It is done.

Today I am happily using the powerful IT IS DONE!

What is done?  I'll tell you what is done!  We are going away for our anniversary!  Woot woot!  Yes I had blogged on this issue (weeks ago) and then you noticed it faded away and now I am happy to announce we are gettin' outta dodge later on in the season to come to celebrate six years of wedded bliss.

OK that wedded bliss part is the biggest load of BS you've ever heard of.  When does wedded bliss actually hit?  I think it hit on the fifth year of marriage for us.  My best friend is my husband.  My confidante is my husband.  My shoulder is my husband.  My sounding board is my husband.  When something happens the first person I want to call is my husband.  Don't worry... it wasn't like this from day one.  I am not Barbie and he isn't Ken and this world isn't made by Mattel.  I am made of flesh and bones and blood and have this huge flaw called human and so does he so nothing is just peaches and cream every day but most days its berries yogurt now days!

Instead of spending time in the Smokies we're going to enjoy boat drinks at the Atlantic.  Bring it on!!!  I can taste the rum - yum yum!  (Quite possibly I was a runaway Brit girl in my past life and lived with a Johnny Depp look alike pirate...)

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Marriage Tip #348  Get the hell away.

I didn't have to put "the hell" in that sentence but I was taught in a communication class in college that if you want to grab attention you have the power of words to draw that attention in.  I also learned that by using (French) words you are going to grab attention because it is taboo to use such (French) words.  So if the "hell" offended you see the next line.

Marriage Tip #348 Get away.

I also do not see why a college class had to teach that blippit because you learned that those (French) words grabbed attention when you were four years old and said your first naughty (French) word and had to eat Dial soap for snack time that day.

Now that wording can have a few meanings....

1.  The PMS meaning - Get the hell away - as in I may stab you with this butter knife if you don't leave my presence in a very quick fashion.

2.  The "this day has sucked" meaning - Get the hell away - as in if you don't present me with a glass of wine really fast and a back massage that is only a back massage I may knee you in your family jewels.

3.  The final meaning - Get the hell away - as in we need to get out of this house for a while before we burst.

Ok back to Marriage Tip #348  (related to translation number 3)

Get away.  This is not singular.  This get away is you and your hubby exiting the home.  Each instance mentioned below is you and your significant other not you and your mister or mistress or you alone.  (Had to put it out there people!  Not every one is playing fair ya know.)

Every day:  get away from the television, kids, computer, cell phones and just talk.  I love when my husband and I have dinner later than the kids so we can sit at the table - chew, talk, sip, talk, chew talk, sip, talk....

Every month:  get away at least one time just the two of you - this is what we call date nights in my house.  This includes the kids going elsewhere for the evening so you don't have to cook them dinner, change their diaper, scrub their heads, read the story, play Barbies, play baseball, etc.  You can mail the kids off for the night to grandma or you can hire a babysitter to come in and make sure the kids are fast asleep by the time you get home. There should be no diversions for date night and the topic of conversation should NOT be the kids.  If you have issues with that then I need to blog more on this topic huh?

At least two times per year:  Get away for at least 2 days - go somewhere together and makea few child free memories.  The reason you want to be kid free is simple - you are your best wifey poo or hubby bear when you are away from the house and kids.  You cannot divert your attention to a boo boo or a project out in the shop.  You and your lovah are in a neutral spot with no laundry piles, honey-do's, or screaming kids. 

Why?

Remember those days before you had the spawn of your loins running around?  When it was just you and your man/woman?  Remember why you fell for that man/woman?  Do you miss those days?  If you say you don't then you may be lying or you may have had a really bad experience (and I'm sorry about that but I feel ya). 

The kids love you and they always will (with the exception of those preteen and teen years).  But one day those babies are going to go on their own paths that will lead them away from you.  They will want to start their own lives and that means you won't be cooking them dinner, driving them to soccer, or signing off on their homework. 

The one person you hope to hell doesn't leave you is that person you created those little people with.  If you don't nurture the relationship that is known as marriage now - while your children seem to rule your lives - what will you have to look forward to down the road when the kids are grown and gone?

If you say - we'll have plenty of time to rekindle when the kids are in high school then you are putting off something that is so important - giving necessary care to the relationship of man and wife that unfortunately and so easily can dissipate as quick as a child growing up and going out into the world on their own.

Your marriage is a flower (this is not a Kenny Rogers song keep reading).

Every day that flower needs: 
light & water (attention)
the dead blooms needs to be plucked away (revitalization)
and this never needs to be neglected or the flower will wilt away (love)
When the flower dies you cannot bring it back....

Check your relationship's soil - is it dry?
Check your relationship's petals and leaves - are there a lot of dead blooms?  browning leaves?
Check your relationship's position - does it need more light?

Get to work.

When it's dead.....it's dead people.

Keep that in mind. 

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Have an excellent weekend. 

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Until we meet again -


Brownie