1,000+

You rock.  I have hit 1000 hits. 

A little housekeeping....

Still overwhelmed by the multitude of emails I am getting.  Thank you!  Some of you are requesting some topics and that is pretty darn nifty.  I am organizing and planning for future entries.  Until I get it all pulled together you'll get my random ramblings.

Thank you again!

And yes this edition is jam packed with both dry and wet humor.

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Well it "snowed" in NC.  Here we have two types of snow falls:  dusting or a dune.  We were supposed to get 2-4 inches and "this is the real thing".  I awoke to a dusting of icey mess.  My child tried to do all the typical snow worship activities one should be able to do in snow.  She attempted snow angels....I think I heard her jacket rip a little thanks to the shards of ice.  She contemplated a snowman then realized we were about a cup short to make one.  She tried to eat some (gross, I had just taken the dog out to pee).  Then she just looked at me.  I said, "We don't always get good snows"  She responded, "Its snow!"  I said, "Yes its more ice than snow."  She said, "Its pretty!"  I said, "Yeah it is."  To which she fell to the ground and tried once more to make the impression of a snow angel - she thinks she failed at the attempt.......I don't think she did at all.

I'm glad the winter wannabe weather is over.  I can now move on to 70 degree temperatures with inner peace. Unfortunately, I saw next Tuesday's high is in the 30's.  This is uncool and I don't mean that in any fashion other than boo boo boo.

I can pass along the news that the Ark Building Committee has decided to pack away our wood, nails and hav-a-hearts for another time.  It seems that the levy is fixed temporarily.

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I didn't let the crappy weather of the past night keep us in.  It was raining, snowing, and the wind was blowing about 45 mph but who cares.  We had dance class to attend!  It wasn't cancelled and I'm paying for her to go so we loaded up, hit the interstate, drove 50 mph, and got there safely.  We were one of four who braved the southern winter storm to go dance an hour away.  It was well worth it. 

My little girl has a great dance instructor.  Now that its cold I try to go sit inside for the last ten minutes of class so I can grab my kid and get out of the dance instructor's hair.  I get to hear her teach the kids.  You have to be a light and airy soul to work with a room full of 3-5 year olds.  Especially when they have on tap shoes.  Your sense of hearing is at its height as you listen to her tell the kids what to do over the music, you hear a lot of little sets of feet shuffling at different times and anywhere but in line with each other, then you hear all these high pitched little voices chattering and yelling and then giggles.

I look forward to the recital.

Last night dance class fell on over into our evening at home.  We decided to put the pillows down and do "tumbles" on the floor.  We have hardwoods.  Need I say more?  It was fun.  It was also the first time in probably 15 years that I did any tumbles whatsoever....and the first time in a good ten years they were done without the influence of adult beverages.  I stuck with the forward roll and did not attempt anything else.  My coach said I needed to work on them, I doubt I will but it was fun while it lasted.

At 31 I wish I could be going to dance class for myself.  No not zumba....real dance.  Its funny how having a child makes you miss some of the things you did as a child.

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Dear Lance Armstrong,

Who are you again?  I think you need to put the training wheels back on.

Sincerely,
Someone Who Could Care Less


Dear Notre Dame Football Player,

I also had an imaginary friend, however I was between three and four years old when mine was "around".  She lived in my well house and drove a car that had a toilet in it.  She commuted to Mexico every day.  I'm not sure if she's dead but if she ever comes back around I will tell her to tell your girlfriend hello.  I'm sure they hang out some.  Who wouldn't want to be friends with someone who drives a mogaline car.

Sincerely,
Someone who thinks you need some serious psychological help or to lay off the Honolulu Hooch you are trippin' on.

Dear MTV,

Thank you for teaching me what catfish means.  I always thought it was just something I enjoyed catching on the river.  Now I know the society in which I reside is truly ridiculous.

Sincerely,
Someone who remembers music videos.

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I am currently contemplating getting something I didn't think I would ever want.  Ok wait go back.  Yes I did want one when I was younger but wasn't allowed to have one (this has been discussed before).  However, circumstances are making the addition of one to our family a bit more logical to get one.  I can probably get one for free if I just put it out there.  My husband jokingly said "Put it on Facebook and I bet you can find a few of them."  Then he really got a chuckle when he said, "I know a place where you can get just the one you want, any color, any coat, any size..."  I have a friend visiting named Mickey (or Minnie, not sure) and I'm sick and tired of Mickey (or Minnie) coming by once a month, scaring the ever living crap out of me, and me patiently awaiting Mickey (or Minnie) to find their way into the lovely Decon no touch no see traps I have set out.  I have a dog but he is a hippie and at peace with all things in the animal kingdom - so yes I am saying I am contemplating a feline for my abode.  I know nothing of cats other than they don't like me.  They freak me out in a way.  When I see one I don't know I automatically go into distrust mode.  Cats look evil and they stare you down trying to decide if they should go with their inner tigress and maul your eyes out or just rub up against your leg fifteen times and leave you wondering - exactly what is this cat's intentions?  At least with a dog you can pretty much understand if indeed he plans to rip your neck apart or he's going to hump your leg.  Cats are just tricky.  Plus, I'm not even sure if you litter box train a cat or if they are so incredibly smart that they just automatically go to a litter box or paw the door to go out or do they jump on the thrown, do their business, wipe and flush. And if I had one that thing would have to be declawed - ferocious beasts - and then I begin turning this mouse killer into a pansy with no claws.

Screw it, I'm going to keep my Decons locked and loaded. 

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Maybe just maybe I will be starting my fast for Lent a bit earlier than the liturgical calendar states the beginning of it is.  I saw myself in the mirror earlier.  I believe I need to drop some baby weight a little faster than I am doing. 

This year I will be giving up all food.  I may be a bit weak by Easter but I know I'll feel closer to the Lord. 

Ok ok ok no I will not be giving up all food but I will be giving up white food.  Are you seriously racking your brain as to what white food is?  Ok you think I'm going to throw in some little funny here but I'm not.  I'm giving up white potatoes, white bread, white pasta, white sauces, do you see the pattern?  I need to give up white sugar but I also need to keep some sanity so I will continue to limit it but not X it out of my nutrition totally.  Remember this is for Lent.  And if you aren't too sure what Lent is well its pretty much the 40 days leading up to Easter - in honor of Christ giving up his earthly life for us we give up something in rememberance of Him during this time.  Not every denomination does it.  Some view that Christ gave up His life so we can continue on.  I view it as a great time to get healthier by restricting something of absolutely no value from your life and after 40 days you shouldn't want it anyway.  I'll keep you posted on my progress.

And no, white wine is not included in this fast....remember a miracle was water to wine and I don't mess with miracles.  (And if this is deemed not a miracle then we need to re-evaluate).

So if you're wanting to give up smoking go ahead and start on Ash Wednesday.....that is called dry humor people.

No seriously.  I invite you to join me if you want to start a little earlier than Ash Wednesday.  I will be happy be your accountability buddy.  And if you are Jewish or Islamic and you don't feel comfy giving something up for a Christian observance but you want to take part in dropping something unhealthy for a while then join in!

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Enjoy your weekend.  Most of you should be getting a long weekend thanks to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  in his honor let us have a weekend full of peace and friendship.

See ya next week.

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Until we meet again -

Brownie