Random Thoughts...

Good morning!  Guess who realized that they had not published a random thoughts post in a while?  I will let you try to figure that one out for a second while I refill my coffee cup.

OK yes it was me.  

Here's my latest random thought bank on display for all to see....hold tight.

At the gym:

OK go easy.  Two and half miles and stop.  You got this.

5 minutes later...

What the hell?  I cannot do this turtle speed up this game.  Increases incline and resistance to double what it was.

Oh my God!  Oh my God!  I'm going to DIE!  My leg! Somebody help me! somebody hit me! What am I doing?!?!?  Decreases incline and resistance to an unprecedented low amount - practically 0 but not!  LET THE RECORD SHOW BUT NOT ZERO!

I'm old now.  Twenty something thing with totally tight body and nice pony tail saddles up beside me goes straight to my regular resistance/incline/speed post warm up.

Bite me.  This is you in ten years fool.  Better just look over here and get a good dose of what you're working towards!  Broke down joints and bad tendons.  It's a freakin' struggle you little piece of twenty something crap.

When I looked at the calendar:

via giphy

Today is?  Gasp, freak out look.  What the hell?  Where is October at?  Where is the first half of the freaking month?  Begins to count days.  I have to bake a cake this week?  THE KIDS HAVE TWO DAYS OFF SCHOOL?  Whew just one.  Remembering volunteering at daughter's school - Sh%& did I tell my husband he's on preschool duty?  I have to lead sewing pillows?  Can we take a field trip to Dollar General and just buy some?  NO!  Not the Fall Festival!  Dammit, dammit, dammit!  Oh that's what the cake is for.  I should just buy one.  Yes, buy a freaking cake.  Lord knows the grandma's get subbed in for this task.  I can sub in Granny Walmart.  

Wait a second if Halloween is two weeks away...oh my.  Oh no.  Oh sh*&!  Thirty-five is like five minutes away.  Am I ready for this?  Is it too early to break into that red blend Candice gave me?  Rests head in hands and tries to breathe.

When I remember I'm participating in trunk or treat:

Are you freaking kidding me?  (via Pinterest)

Oh I gotta rock this.  Where's Pinterest at.  Pulls phone out of handbag, opens app, searches trunk or treat ideas.  After scrolling through about 186 pictures puts phone back in bag.

Forget that.

The kids ask me what is for dinner:

Whatever you're old enough to fix yourself.  Looks like a sandwich for the oldest one and candy corn for the little one.

At bed time:

Gah, I'm so tired.  Picks up remote and turns on Netflix.  I should watch some more of The Ranch because it is so stupid it will lull me to sleep.  Two hours later:  This show is really growing on me - wait this is season two?  WAIT IT IS 2 AM?  Grrrrr.  Turns off television and slams remote down forcing myself to sleep.

Sundays when I realize I'm not in the New England Patriots television market:

Yes, Rob, I want to cry too right now.  Or punch the television.  Steelers?  Really?  No. (Via Patsnation)

 

Gonna watch some football!  Gonna get my Gronk fix!  Oh yeah, oh yeah!  Turns on CBS - a game other than the Pats.  Turns on Fox - a game other than the Pats.  Looks at the guide.  Pats aren't on this television.  Husband reminds her she could have bought NFL Sunday Ticket.  $%*!  #@($*!!!!  

Looking at my fantasy football team:

Yes, Rob, plan a new strategy so that you can get me a minimum of 175 points per game.  You know how to make it happen and get homeslice involved too...
via patsnation

Expect no change.  Expect no change.  Holy Mother I just got a butt load of points!  Checks other points.  Enter a deep state of frustration and anger.  Just you $@#%ers wait.  I'm ready for next year.  Then goes and orders a Patriots sweatshirt.  No, I cannot buy a sweatshirt right now my birthday is coming.

And that is my brain lately....scary, right?

xoxoxox-

Amanda