This is real life.

The Real Housewives of the OC is back.  I have watched half of the first episode.  It is no secret I'm a huge fan of the he RH series.  I enjoy watching them all and laughing at them all and of course rolling my eyes to the hilt at every single drama filled episode.

Lately, I've been thinking - what if the Real Housewives were just that - real housewives.

The other night as I was letting my random mind wander about in my head I started playing out the roles of myself and my best friend and some others I know.  I drew several slight differences between myself and my friends and the stunning beauties on the shows.

If the housewives were real then...

There houses would not be sets from magazines.  There would be laundry patiently awaiting it to be folded by our own selves and not the maid.  The sink would show signs of a meal we made the night before.  The dishwasher - loaded and either not yet put away or still waiting on me to remember to buy a bottle of detergent.  There would be kid toys and dog toys in random corners.  Dog hair on the furniture.  A snack bar wrapper tucked into a cushion on the couch because the idea of walking to the trash can is unbearable for a soon to be nine year old.

The bathrooms would be 2,000 square feet smaller.

The catchall room would have a permenanty shut door.

The closet would be a closet and not a room the size of my kitchen and living put together.  Shoes may be decreased in number and placed in a "cute tote" ordered from a magazine company.

Fresh flowers?  Nope, maybe weeds that my kids picked and I placed in a mason jar.

They would still be pissed off they didn't have a nanny and would be eager for any one to offer up to watch them for a couple hours.  I'm not sure if they know exactly what their littles are up to or if they just check in once a day for five minutes.  They would need to sit down and teach them those numbers and letters and feel the frustration when you accidentally start comparing child a to child b.



Agonizing over the checkbook would also be a real part of the show.  Especially if the paycheck they typically get stops for two to three months a year.  Let's make them super real and eliminate million dollar anything from the lifestyle.  At least three episodes would be Dave Ramsey strategies at work.



Private gyms get replaced with YMCA's.

Girl's trips to tropical oasis destinations are replaced with meeting up at the baseball or softball field and catching up there.  You'll make every attempt to at least go out to dinner but instead it will have to be cancelled or you'll settle for a Saturday evening cookout referreeing the kids from fighting over toys.



Perfect complexions are replaced by I'm-smiling-because-I-put-on-mascara-today.  Freckles, pimples, lines are all on display because the make up professional does not drop by our houses every day.

There are Walmart labels in our drawers.

Do you see my car?  Oh yes it is foreign but it isn't that kind of foreign.  Notice the melted crayon stain from three years ago, dog hair, crumbs, and receipts from two Christmases ago.



The people you do not get along with - you do not meet for lunches.  You steer clear of them but when you see them you at least smile and say hello to.



We haven't been in jail....yet.

Our husbands don't leave us to do lists - we make our own.

Once a week we go to that mysterious grocery store place that isn't known for it's organic, nothing added, totally ripping your budget apart merchant.  We visit the chains that take coupons, if we remember them, and the cashier knows us and actually has a bit of small talk with us.




We drink wine.  $6.99 wine.

Divorces aren't our story line.  We move past the past and on to the forward.

Chances are we live five to fifteen minutes from our parents and if we don't we Skype or email them on the regular.  They aren't embarassed of us either.

We cook for our own parties.

We haven't had our faces cut on or shot into...but we plan on it if we have the money.



Most of us believe in God for real and not to "give a certain spin" on a situation.

There is no chance that any of us will buy our kids' new homes.  We probably won't even buy them cars from this decade when it comes time to go down that road!

So maybe real housewives aren't as interesting as the girls on the shows.  But I think we have a pretty good thing going; stress and all.

xo-
Amanda