Raising a Girl: Instilling Work Ethic

Choosing your battles is a very key element to raising your daughter.  I'm learning this every.single.day.

At this stage in her "growing up" - we could start every day in an argument that would never end.

She never wants to get up in the mornings.

She never wants to wear what I lay out for her.  When I give her the freedom to pick her own outfit she whines for me to pick out something instead.

Simple chores I get a case of defiance thrown at me.

Yes, every minute could be a battle....if I let it.

Over the weekend I did something foreign to me as far as my parenting experience (to this point) goes.

My husband and I were busy working on our property.  There were tons of things that needed to be completed inside the house (dishes, laundry, beds, kitchen counters, etc).  I decided now was the time to give my daughter more freedom mixed with work.

Work?

Yes, indeed.

Working with kids I'm finding that something is lost among many of them. It is called work ethic.  I remember being in junior high and high school just yearning for my own money.  There were things that money meant and the biggest one was freedom.  I had my first job at thirteen.  This girl wanted to work.

Today, I work with a lot of teenagers and they are doing all in their power to not work.  The ones that do have typical teenager jobs (cashiering, fast food, child care) complain that they hate working.  Even the ones who tell me they don't have to do anything at their jobs are hoping they can just quit and not work again.

I am baffled to say the least.

That is also worrisome if you think in terms for the all too near future.

What caused this?  Did we exchange teaching the importance of work with hand outs from mommy and daddy dearest?

This mama refuses to allow her kids to lack any work ethic.

My conversation with my daughter on Saturday went like this:

Me:  C you want to make some money?
C:  Yeah.  What do I have to do?
Me:  I'll make you a list of chores to do while I'm outside working with dad.
C:  OK!  Can I help make dinner too?
Me:  Yes.
C:  Awesome!

She lit up like a Christmas tree.

I made her a list of ten chores.  These were ten things that I would have been working on had I been inside on Saturday.  The list had things on it like:  Unload the dishwasher, fold one basket of laundry, make up all beds, clean the kitchen counters, keep an eye on your brother, etc.

After I walked outside she never came out to complain.  The two times I ran in to check on her she was diligently working on her list and her brother was content.

She finished the entire list.

This mama learned a valuable lesson on Saturday too.  My kid is growing up and she wants more freedoms. Maybe I haven't seen her for the capabilities she has.  Maybe I have limited her.  If I give her tasks and distance myself - she can do it on her own.

Not only is this helping her grow but it helps me out in the long run too.

I think back to when I was eight and a half years old. I had my weekly chores of dusting, vacuuming, and doing dishes (no dishwasher).  Ha!  I remember running in the store for my mom and pumping her gas too (that made me feel so grown up!) We can chalk it up to that being a different place and time.

But maybe that is a scape goat for not parenting to our fullest and giving them the baby steps of freedom they need.

Sure, I won't send her into the grocery store to get things for me.

But I will have her do that laundry and help with dinner more.

She can get used to vacuuming and mopping on Saturdays.

And she can keep on earning that allowance - the old fashioned way.

Work.