Confession: February

Yesterday I skipped my Bible Study.  I'm confessing this because yesterday's topic in our group was confession.  I feel bad for skipping it but I do have a reason.  (There's the human in me, let me share my reasoning!)  My daughter would have had no where to go.  Her event was cancelled for a large scale youth (grades 6-12) event.  I opted to stay home and get some things done in place of going to Bible Study.  That led me to think that I had put something else before God and I felt guilty.  I'll mention guilt again in a little while but many Christians live with this proverbial guilt that we're taught we should feel about missing anything related to our faith and church life.  

You need to know that I didn't abandon ship all together!  I did spend time reading the lesson and answering the questions that went a long with it.  I also spent a lot of time in prayer.

Because I do that.

I pray.  A whole lot.

I mention my prayer journal in this blog here and there.  Admitting: The prayer journal has been the best thing I have added to my life so far in 2016.  Naturally, I'm a pen and paper girl (or keyboard and screen) and being able to let it all flow - these prayers and petitions - is just freeing to me.  It is my meditation and release.  With a pen and paper I can let burdens fall off my heart and onto paper and up to the Creator.  Do you know how refreshing and rejuvenating that is to my soul?  I.cannot.even.put.it.into.words.

I know that some of you will read this and eye roll it and give a good psychologically based rebuttal of it.  That is fine and dandy because I'm a college educated science major who also gets that 110% - but I am also a menial human being who has faith.  My faith has grown exponentially in the past ten years and that is more powerful than four years in a classroom.  Real life experience has shaped who I am both educationally and in my spirituality.

So here's the meat and potatoes of this post...

Confessing - What My Prayer Journal Has Shown Me.

There is so much grace falling on me 24/7, 365.  I have blessings I shouldn't be warranted but they are falling on me in tiny little mist droplets and in the form of big, fat alligator drops.  

I have asked and I have received.  I never realized how many small things I have prayed about that have really came to fruition.  Had I not journaled it I would never have seen the correlation.  Some things I have prayed about and days later I see the end result of that prayer being answered in some way, shape, or form.  Other times it takes weeks or a month but the prayer is ultimately answered.  I go back and read past prayers and see where I was and what I asked for direction in and then I realize God did hear me and did guide me.  He is good.

There has been more time spent thanking than asking.  I always thought I was an asker - it is part of that Christian guilt - I ask too much.  After reviewing two months of prayers I realize I spend more time thanking God for what I have been graced with other than asking for more.  Let it be known I have asked for guidance more than anything else.

This girl is happier.  I know it is a direct relation to the prayer journal and giving Him more control in my life.  Ultimately, God has the control but we hold on so tightly because to err is human!  Since I have been intentionally journaling my prayers and realizing that God is bigger and stronger and totally in control I can give Him my worries so much easier and live with a much lighter load.

I pray for you.  You, the random person I do not know.  I have noticed that more and more my heart is wanting more people to realize the wonderful gift that is God's love and grace.  I may be a Christian and you may be a Jew or Muslim but we have the same wonderful God who is waiting to for us to let Him take the control and guide us.  He has the keys to a happier life for us and the perfect map for steering our ships.  As my minister said a few weeks back - Let (for me Jesus) God in the boat.

There, I confessed.