Raising a Girl (Part 1)

My first child is a girl.  Ahhh I remember when I was expecting her...visions of pink, frilly dresses, pony tails, mommy and me days.  To say I was ecstatic would be the understatement of the century.  Little girls are just special and fun.  I like to think of those sweet baby girls as baby dolls came to life!  I had so much fun dressing her up and painting those tiny little toe nails.  She loved to be with mommy and she loved to help out in any way she thought best (including removing every pot, pan, dish, etc from the kitchen cabinets when I cooked.)

Yes, having a daughter is a complete and total joy.

Then they start to grow up.

Girls have a more fierce middle childhood than boys.  We just have to point the blame to hormones and biology.  In the last year my sweet little bundle of pink has morphed into a more difficult version of hot pink.  I can't dress her up in frilly dresses and painting those piggies is more of debacle than fun time.

She's caught in an awkward space and so is her mom.

At eight years old she's not a little tyke and she is not a teenager.  She is what the media has dubbed a "tween" - between the years of sweet littleness and preteen changes.  Her big blue eyes are often cutting me instead of loving me.  The boundaries are jumped over.

There are times when I feel like we shout at each other more than we calmly speak to one another.  There are also times when I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick and mortar wall.  I keep telling myself these are the moments that will shape our relationship when she is neck deep in the difficult changes that will begin all too soon.

I read countless articles about handling this delicate time in our lives.  Truth be told I feel like most are written by people who never even had a daughter.  I envision these authors being surrounded by cats or dogs and never having an actual human child to care for.

Truth be told...I feel quite alone.

It is true there have been times I feel like it is only my child who is bucking up against her parents and rules.  Look at social media and blogs!  They only portray the cookie cutter perfection of children and families.  Do people really want to see you going postal because of the perfect child still not listening to you?

I think they do.

I think moms and dads deserve to know they are not alone when it comes to the difficulties of growing a child.  They aren't screwing it all up and yes, everyone gets to their point of tears when raising children.

This year my daughter will be on the verge of entering a new phase of her life - puberty.  I remember it all too well.  I remember tears as my self evolved into something I was not ready for.  The thorny patches of going from child to young lady were a huge test on me twenty some years ago.  I personally live in a state of mild fear over what it is like in 2016.

So I'm going to be more alert this year about what is happening to our family's shape - I'm going to learn to bend more when the forceful winds of change blow through us and I'm going to work on the virtue of patience and showing more love and less yelling.

That also means this blog becomes a bit of a sounding board and mode of expression and asking for advice.  So many of you are seasoned in this life experience and I need your two cents.

Little girls are beautifully and wonderfully made - let's work to remember that as they enter new seasons and challenges - together.