Thankful: November 25th

In the past ten years of my life I've had some bad experiences.  I've gone through some slight traumas and I'd like to say walked away unscathed but that would be a lie.

One mini trauma was being a kid of divorce at twenty-seven years of age.  People think its easier for grown children to deal with but I beg to differ.  I see the resilience in children a resilience much more powerful than that of a jaded adult.

I don't like to talk about my parent's divorce because it was a dark hallway in my life.  It couldn't have happened at a worse time.  I had just had my daughter - she was three months old when they split.  That should have been a delightful time in my life but instead it was splattered with black paint.

Where is this leading to?

When my parents split I was left spitting at my dad.  I hated him.  He had lied to me over and over again and I sickened by his actions and words.  When he left I wrote him off.

Like a Dear John letter left on the mantle in a cold house.

For three years I didn't say a word to him.  I didn't see him.  I stayed away.

Part of who I am is a runner.  Not in the strap on a pair of Nikes and go way but in the you hurt me and I'm out of dodge way.  I was made aware of this in college by a dear friend.  She said it was kind of crazy how I could just run away from so much and it never bothered me.  No fight option in the fight or flight deal!

Then something happened.

I had to go to my dad's house for a quick grab of some items for my brother.  I thought he wouldn't be there.  Surprisingly (or really was it?) he was.

We talked for fifteen minutes and he cried.  I didn't know if it was show or what and I wasn't too keen on just being happy go lucky.

But we built on that visit.

Slowly, with my watchful eye and Nikes ready to take me away.

That was four years ago.

Today I'm thankful for my dad.  He's weird and annoying but he's done a lot for me and he's taught me some important life lessons I would have never received had he not been in my life.