Black Death I mean FRIDAY

(Read with British fairy tail voice)
Once upon a time, in a land not too far away, Brownie would awaken at
(insert Snoop Dog voice here)
two in the morning
(back to British fairy tail voice)
and go shopping with all the other possible lunatics of the village.  She would first stop to get coffee and then make her way to stand in lines in the cold.
(Insert Dateline voice here, you know the old white guy's creepy questionable voice)
And then she stopped.....buy why?

Here's why!



1.  I like to sleep.

Though I don't get to much anymore I do like the idea of being asleep at 2 AM.



2.  I can totally wear that hipocritical sash of reason.

It is called "No one should have to work on Thanksgiving" and it is followed by, "Honey, I'm going to Walmart ok?  They have a great deal on food containers!  See ya soon!"  Which is said on Thanksgiving evening around 8:00 PM.



3.  Have you ever stood in line?

My Lord people!  One Black Friday I stood in line, in the freezing cold, in the dark, behind two women who had apparently had some military training about how to go in and take over a Kohl's.  Forget that.



4.  Have you been shopping with me?

Chances are:  No.  But for a few of you who may read this today you have and you are laughing (I see you Ashley and you know we're one in the same).  I'll go shopping and I'll load down the cart, no problemo.  I'll say things like, "Wow what an amazing deal!"  or "Oh this is PERFECT!"  But do I mean it?  Hell no!  When I get ready to get in line I will look at that cart and say, "I don't even want this crap."  Then I'll ditch it and leave and go get another coffee.



5.  Let's be honest though.

I won't get up at 2AM.  But I will probably hit an early morning sale on some things I know we need for the house.  Chances are it will be after all the "deal seekers" have returned to their homes with their cars so weighted down they drag the asphalt.  That's okay with me.  I'm so ready for Cyber Monday!