Let's Share!: Hormone Hell

So today I'm sharing all about my experience with hormones in my thirties.  Thirties being the third decade of my existence on the earth.

I shared with you about my Mirena experience a few months back.  If you're interested in it you can click here to read it.  I will briefly discuss it in this post.  Briefly. as in you really don't need to click back because I'll sum that shiz up for you real quick like.

When I was in my twenties I took Ortho Tri Cyclene for my birth control.  I didn't gain w  eight, life was good, I was happy, no babies. Enter some headaches from hell and they moved me to Ortho Tri Cyclene Lo.  All happy again. Then somewhere around 25 I took some antibiotics and won a baby.  That's fine.  Whatever.  She's cute (at times).  After I had her I went back to my the pill but this time I took Tri Sprintec which I think was a generic of the Ortho Tri Cyclene Lo or something.  Then I had a very interesting experience where they said I stroked on July 13, 2008.  Some type of concoction between having a baby, body fluids, medicine, etc.  Huh?  Yeah no.  So I went to a new doctor who said it was a complicated migraine.  I should be ok on my birth control but I needed to add in some vitamins.



In 2011, a month and a half into my 30th year,  I found out I was knocked up again.  Ok....cool.  Post baby I had Mirena put in.  To put it simply....Mirena was Satan placed inside my uterus.  I became a non stop bleeding, bitch with no libido.  I had that piece of hell removed in January of this year.  I"m not sure if my body just decided hormones were not allowed the way eight year old boys post signs of NO GIRLS ALLOWED on their doors or what.

I was placed back on Ortho Tri Cyclene Lo and I hate to report this but....

My body just cannot tolerate hormones like it once did a few years ago.

Now, I get plain out sick on my pill.  Woozy, dizzy, sleepy, and not very happy.  It seems like someone mis-packaged my pills to be an anxiety drug but the chemistry is all screw balled.

So now I'm at a cross roads.  (Cue Bone Thugs)



Yep...you guessed it.  I'm done.  I know that I cannot tolerate hormones.  I know that me not tolerating adding and taking away hormones from my own self can be very hard on the other half of this relationship.

So, I'm putting him on deck.



Yes, it is true.  I am calling Mr. Snip Snip to cut the canals of Sperm Stream.  I've gone through two pregnancies, two births, and too many birth control issues to have to "take another for the team"....its time for another player to have some time at bat.

I hear this "bat" consists of fifteen minutes, valium and frozen peas.  I think he can handle it.