This parenthood thing....

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Lately, I've been asking myself a question over and over and over again.

"Why didn't I just stick with dogs."

I was driving the other day and I remembered one of my mother's friends making the comment to her one day she wish she would have just had dogs instead of kids.

It may be bottom of the barrel to say this but I totally get what she was saying.

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Dogs do not throw hellish style tantrums in dental offices.  They don't grab you and try to push you around while screaming for you to take them to Sweet Frogs because you said you would (leaving out the part if they were a big kid and had the procedure done then they could have gone to said Sweet Frogs).

Its cheaper to go to the vet these days than the pediatrician and dentist combined.  Go ahead and throw the groomer in too.

Dogs do not expect a damn thing from you.  They don't expect you to get up and cater to their every whim.  They are simply happy with an ear scratch, atta boy, and yummy treat.

Dogs do not want to be apart of expensive extracurriculars.  Nosiree, dogs want to go for a walk or catch a dollar store ball fifty times, or chase their tails.

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Dogs do not greet you when you walk in with a "gimme gimme" or a whine.  Dogs run to you with a happy face and give you kisses and make you realize that they really did miss you while you were gone and they are so appreciative you are home.

Dogs wake you up at night because they held it as long as they can and they do not want to upset you by pissing on your new floor.  They don't wake you up because they decided now is the time to watch Chuggington.

Dogs don't stand at your feet and scream bloody murder for no reason.

Dogs cuddle to show their love not to beat your tail with flailing legs and feet.

Dogs can sense when your blood pressure rises and they try to calm you down.  Children can sense when your blood pressure is rising and then try to see just how high they can get it before you pass out.

Dogs can watch your trashy TV addiction with you.

Dogs love to eat leftovers.

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Dogs cannot tell everyone what you said last night that you didn't mean to say in their presence.

Dogs are just happy to be in your presence.

I'm at that point in rearing my kids where the hard stuff is starting.  My school kid is testing boundaries and broadening her emotional stratosphere and it is killing me {softly}.  I do not remember being six years old as well as I remember fifteen years old.  I'm reading lots of touchy feely shit to figure out the best thing to do as a parent.  When a dog hits six years old you call him an adult and he acts like he's 35....licking his crotch, farting, and laying around until the door opens and he runs out to take a leak.

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My toddler is a straight up toddler and though it can be a hectic time he's fairly easy and well very similar to a pug.  Unless of course he is sleepy or teething then he's just hell on wheels and as unpredictable as a terrier who just got into the sugar bowl.

SO yeah I get the statement that mom made about dogs over kids.  I totally get it.  I feel her pain and her anxiety.  Dogs are easier.

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Though dogs are awesome they are also unable to sense when mama needs to hear I love you and not just lay their head on your thigh.  They also cannot surprise you with a comment that you never thought you'd hear again from one of those blasted mouths...the kind that make your heart smile and your eyes water.

Dogs are awesome but they won't look at you one day way down the road and say, "Thanks mama".  

Dogs cannot drive us to our appointments when we are older either.  (Not yet anyway)

I love dogs.

But I love my kids more.  Just not some of these parenting experiences I guess.

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