I haven't written a Demented Thursday post in what seems to be ages. I had to leave it be for a while. Give myself a break on documenting and commenting and sharing my experiences with my grandmother.
Today I'm going back for a little while to discuss the evil that is Alzheimer's Disease.
This past Friday I decided to load up my grandma's mini van and take her out with us for our Friday errands. She needed to sign a document in town and I thought why not make a day out of it. I know the struggle of having your two kids with you and then throwing in someone who is totally your elder but also your third child when you're taking them with you. I prepped myself - remain calm, listen as if its the first time she's said everything you know she's going to say, just smile.
It started out just fine. She was actually ready fifteen minutes ahead of schedule (and that rarely used to happen). She was cheery. The sun was shining and summer had returned to our hometown and her personality. We made our first stop. The surveyor's office. She needed to sign a document.
She can write. However, it took her five minutes to write her name (it was supposed to be a signature but was more of block print) I asked quietly if that was ok and he shook his head yes. Then she made a connection with him. She could link him to my uncle. Woo hoo take that brain disease! And then she was asking if he was married and then like a school girl she had that flirty giggle and started complimenting him. We all smiled, it was funny. He knew she was old and probably "not hitting on all four cylinders" and we let it go.
When I walked in that office I swear my grandma was by my side. When I walked out that different person who looks like her was walking with me.
We drove down the road, chatting.
I made a stop and got back in the car all within five minutes.
We drove a little farther and the question that anyone with a loved one who has Alz/Dem said to me:
Who are you?
Not psycho babble who are you but a serious who the hell are you.
Who am I? Did she really just ask me that? Who am I?
I'm Melissa's daughter.
To which she said, "I have a daughter named Melissa"
And I said, "Yes, that's who I am talking about."
Silence.
"Where does your mama work? Who are your people?"
Silence on my end. I could so run left field - start talking like Tarzan all that jazz - but I didn't. She was seriously asking me and I needed to seriously answer her.
"She works at the school. You are my people. Edd was my grandpa. Edwin is my uncle. You are my grandma."
Silence on her end.
"Does your mother know my daughter?"
A smile on my face: "Dear God I hope so or there could be some problems!"
She laughed....clueless.
I know I'm just a grandkid and the knife-to-the-gut-on-that-question now coming at me couldn't be as hard as it will be when it is her own children she cannot place.
We need a cure for Alzheimer's. I don't want my children to one day be taking care of me like you do a toddler and me to stare at them like they are the newest family to move in the neighborhood. It isn't fair, it isn't right, it has to end. Support the people in your community who are taking care of loved ones who are right before them but so far away. Support the fight and crusade for science to find the anecdote. Pray to God that He allows this disease to be a thing of the past in good time.
I know my grandmother won't have that miraculous cure in her future. She's close to ninety years old now. However, we should be hell bent against it being a diagnosis for our future generations.
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