Demented Thursday

4.18.13

I am worn out.

No.

I am worn SLAP out.

I have three reasons for my afternoon lethargy:

1.  Allergies
2.  A 7.75 month old
3.  My grandma

Without further ado....here's the blog post for today.

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I never really battled seasonal allergies until I was around 19 years old.  It hit at the end of the summer when the farmers were out for one last big ole hoorah before the cooler temps would roll in.  I would have the constant running nose and an occasional cough. 

Fast forward a few years to 2013 and my allergies have taken me hostage.  I'm taking two Claritins a day and still feeling like a ragged out weed.

This is why my allergies flared up - I had some down time yesterday and I spent it in that chair, sipping that drink, reading those magazines!

All yesterday I had the text book allergy induced sore throat.  Then the fun allergy induced phlegm.  Oh lets not stop the fun there!  Around midnight I stumbled downstairs in search of anything to wet my whistle and anything to kill the raw throat and breathing passages that the golden sprinkles from the trees, grasses and whatever the hell else grows emits.

The reality of this allergy issue/season is I know I cannot be alone in this fight.  If I was Claritin, Zyrtec, Allegra, Benadryl, Alavert, etc would all be so incredibly expensive that I would have to curl into the fetal position and die.

So what can we do to help ourselves in allergy season?

1.  Eat oranges, apples, and onions.  They all have this little ditty called quercetin in them that helps the body from reacting to pollen.

2.  Green tea helps block the formation of histamines thanks to catechin.

3.  Greek Yogurt has probiotics and they can help soothe those allergy symptoms (I have a cup a day....still haven't seen any help yet.)

4.  Salmon and its awesome Omega 3's work as an antiinflammatory.

5.  Turmeric - see salmon.  But don't go easy on the turmeric - go extra liberal with it to get the benefit.

I will probably end up taking two Benadryl and sleeping really hard and really deep and then spending the next day wondering I feel so hung over.....but maybe I won't be sneezing and downing anything in site to ease my throat!

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Well if it is Thursday then it is the day to blog about our outing with grandma.  Every week I get a different grandma.  She looks the same but she's a different character each week.  It is fun but it is also annoying.

One of our largests tasks is picking a lunch spot.  I try to cater to her failing taste buds.  She doesn't remember any restaurants what-so-ever so I have to give her options.  Last week she loved Wendy's.  Wendy's was the next best thing to K&W for her.  She delighted in her meal and time there.  I was pleased because it is my favorite fast food restaurant and it is FAST - so we all have a nice time and the baby remains calm. 

I offered up going to Wendy's again.  Her response:

"I've never been there."

I gripped the steering wheel.  I could take advantage of this Dory fish beside me and say - "Well lets go try it out!"  I could have made it an adventure and somewhere in the time spent sitting at the booth she would have said something like - oh I have been here! 

But I didn't.

I asked what type of food she would like to eat. 

"I don't know."

So I gave her options.  "We can get a burger, chicken, veggies, pizza, steak, seafood, you name it."

The little one in the back screamed:  "PIZZA!"

The little old one beside me said, "We can eat pizza and I can get something else."

It was clear she did not want pizza.  I tried to get her agree to getting something else but since the little one had spoken.....

We went to Pizza Hut.  I had a baby with a dirty diaper, a grandma with a patchy brain, and a five year old who thinks she's 15.  You don't know how amazing a beer sounds (or a shot of whiskey) when that is your company.  I asked my grandma to ask for a table for three and a high chair.

I changed the baby.....not an easy task now.  I came out of the bathroom and YES PRAISE GOD they were seated and sipping their drinks.

I sat down and my grandma said, "What will (baby boy) want to drink?"

<Oh God here we go again she's going to be mad because she doesn't understand he eats babyfood and drinks milk and cannot devour a pizza and drink a tea>

We moved forward to what to order....she couldn't make up her mind.  She wasn't reading a menu, she wasn't looking at other tables, then she said - order for me.  I knew what she liked from there - personal pan pizza - supreme.  Do-able.  I ordered three of them. 

Ten minutes went by.  The baby is screaming as I try to entice him with his food.  The other kid is watching cartoons on the corner television.  The grandma perks up and says, "I know what I'll have!  Salad and a piece of pizza!"

My brain clicked on - finally.  She's your grandma who is now your extra five year old, get with it.

"I'm sorry Mom-o but you cannot get that.  I already ordered you a pizza like you like and I know they are baking it now.  It is too late to change our order.  We can add a salad if you'd like."

She sighed and said, "This is all new to me.  I'm sorry next time I'll know faster."

Guess what....this is all new to me too.

I imagine her experiences now are a lot like an immigrant's here.  You think you know something - maybe a tiny bit of something and it turns out you really don't.  You second guess everything.  The world is new and for all you know it is out to get you. 

Yes, this is all new to me too.

Post lunch I had to make a lovely Walmart run. (Oh how I wish Target was a bit closer!)  I decided to let her lead the way.  We walked through their flowers in the garden center.  $2.38 was too expensive for any plant, they shouldn't be any more than a nickle.  (I agree). 

My grandma hoards things.  If you ask the main things she hoards are:  cereal and lotion.  By God you'll never go hungry or have dry skin in her home.  I get the cereal - it is easy and rarely changes.  I didn't get the lotion until today.

Her arms are covered in spots.  Call them what you wish - liver spots, sun spots. age spots, medicine spots, etc.  She has several large brown spots and bruises and skin tears on her arms.  Those arms are over 85 years old.  Wouldn't you expect some wear and tear?  She wants lotion to cover the spots.  And if she can find the right one - the spots will be gone.

I stood with her and looked at all the lotions.  I picked up a few I had interest in and read them and reshelved them.  Then I looked at her and said, "You know, lotion can't get rid of those spots.  The only person who notices them is you.  Be proud of your spots."   Obviously, not what she wanted to hear...."Well I read there are spot creams that take them away."

Thanks Clinique.  Thanks a bunch.

As we walked parade speed through the store she once again told me she hadn't been in that store in many years (two weeks maximum).  I told her I wished I could say the same.

As we checked out - her another bottle of magic potion lotion and a little outfit for the baby (because she never buys him anything because he's never with her) and my load of baby crap - she literally beamed.

When we got to her house - "Oh I had so much fun just messing around today."

#EndAlz
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My little diva gets her dance recital garb tonight.  I will have the baby in tow.  Considering his terrible teething spell I am not looking forward to this at all.

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Be good to your brain, it can leave you at any given second-


Brownie

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