A Good Day for the Beach!

1.31.13 That's a funky looking date!

Yesterday was the best day to catch some rain water.  If I had flood buckets I would be set until a least September on rain water to use for the bichens, the dogens, the catens, the car-ens, all the flowers I am going to plant....

Last night I had at least four inches of rain rushing down my walkway to the backyard.  My daughter had to walk through the yard to get to the porch.  We have a walkway but the rushing river would have carried her little self away had she walked on it.  I almost called a Ark Building Committee Emergency Meeting.

I keep telling myself that Luke Bryan is right - rain is a good thang.

I was also a bit devastated yesterday - <deep breath> - next year will be How I Met Your Mother's last season.....oh how my heart is breaking, I finally will see who mom is.  Its been on for nine years but only on my favorite list for two.  Agh, that's how goes it right?

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So when it is rainy and seventy-five in January (oh smack I know those of you who live in Alaska are cussing me, I sorry)...as I was saying when its a mild day and the rain is coming down and the wind is reminding you of ruby slippers and flying monkeys....well you stay inside.

The day before we were outside having fun.  But not yesterday.

So my child ate her lunch and then decided to change her outfit (if you don't have a little girl this is a regular occurance.  You should expect your daughter to change her clothes upwards of fifty three times a day.)  She came out wearing not a dress, not another pair of jeans and shirt, not her pajamas....she came out in her bathing suit.

"Its a great day for the beach mama!"

I smiled because I reaized she is my child!!!!

Her creative little noodle was in action!  She put together one of her larger puzzles and it came her beach towel.  She pulled in her baby doll stroller (that she can fit in) beside her towel - it was her beach chair.  Then she got one of my Southern Livings and sat in her "beach chair", legs crossed, reading the magazine.

My role?  I was the "hotel owner" slash "life guard" slash "police".

She explained that her children were swimming and it was my job to watch them since I was the life guard.  Her children?  Yes she had three with her (imaginary) they were named - Carly, Victorious, and Paige.  Are you catching on?  Paige is her preschool teacher's daughter and thus the coolest kid on the planet because she lives with Ms. Preschool Teacher.

I asked about her husband.

Now this should get you laughing.  When my daughter plays pretend she's always a dramatic Southern Belle with a husband named Meeble.  Poor Meeble...he's had a rough go of it and he apparently looks a lot like her dad.

Meeble lost his job at the dog house factory only to work at the baby hospital and botch a surgery.  Now she and Meeble have Baby Marble.  Baby Marble goes to work with is dad.

Duh - moms and daughters hang out while dads and sons hang out.

The whole two hours of this was so much fun.

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When its quiet and the husband is busy on a project.....I bake.

I made a batch of homemade blueberry muffins.  Smell that? YUMMY!

Here's my recipe:

2c AP Flour
1/2 c sugar
1/2 tsp salt

3tsp baking powder
1tbsp cinnamon
1 egg
1 c milk
3 tbsp canola oil
1 c blueberries

Preheat oven to 400
Grease your muffin tin - you'll only be making twelve with this recipe.

Combine your dry ingredients in a bowl, stir together.
In a seperate bowl combine your wet and mix together
In they "dry" bowl make a little well so you can just pour your wet in the center.
Pour the "wet" in the well
Quickly fold and mix with a spatula or a good spoon together
When all the "dry" is "wet" pour in your blueberries and give a good gentle stir
Spoon in your muffin tins

Bake for about 20-25 minutes.

Delish!

You can freeze these babies too.

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Until we meet again -

Brownie

Blessed, chosen, taken

1.30.13 - My bridge to you.

I'm writing this between two days - 1.29 & 1.30.
Bare with me - and yes I meant bare not bear.
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I am broken.  I can admit to it.  I am not what I strive to be.  However, I still strive to be the person I want so desperately to be.
I just sat through a webinar - a great hour and twenty minutes of cussing my computer and cussing a website and rolling my eyes and going - TECHNOLOGY SUCKS!  After my hissy fit....the computer worked brilliantly. Shocker?
A reminder I am broken.  
If I was who I wanted to be I would have just been like - ok this will work itsself out and if it doesn't arrangements will be made.  But no...I got hot headed.
Then I cooled down.
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Every day I struggle with different issues.  I am sure you do too and you may not want to admit to them or you may just want to deny them all together.  I used to do that.
My issues on any given day include:
1.  I am a sucky mom.  What a crap job I am doing.  My kid hates me.  My kid doesn't hate me she loves me but she will eventually hate me. 
2.  Why am I so short fused.  I am never going to see 32 if I continue igniting because I will have a heart attack.
3.  Why is my husband doing that?  Is it my fault he's decided to do that?  Oh my Lord what in the world is going on. 
4.  My friends probably think I hate them, I'm such a bad friend. 
5.  Why can't I fit into my clothes, I'm not budgeting for clothes because I have a lot I love that I cannot wear because I still have this baby weight on me.  Oh my Lord, I'm a blimp.  I'm a yucky looking blimp.  No wonder my friends are thinking I'm terrible, just look at me.
6.  There goes my fuse again.  I may not live to 31 and a half at this rate.
7.  Why am I so damn ugly?  Holy crap what is this skin issue I have?  My hair looks nasty.  Look at this chubawub I am wearing.  I'll be ready for a flood, after I'm too tired to swim my michelin will carry me on down the river.
8.  Am I getting dumber by the minute?
And that's just a sample platter.
How broken am I?  I'm that broken plus about ten.
I'm never happy with my accomplishments in a given day.  I always say - I could have done more.  I could have spent more time with my child.  I could have yelled a little less.  I could have organized the kitchen again.  I could have done another Baby Einstein with the baby.  I could have walked the dog a few more times.  I should have managed my chicken coop today.  I should have planned dinner better.  Why didn't I run today?  Why didn't I shoot her an email? 
Its my own boot camp of ridicule every day....over and over.
I am my own worst enemy.
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Correction - I was.
It wasn't until last year I realized - NO, Brownie you aren't worthy of the ridicule you bestow upon yourself.
My life isn't peaches and cream - I will be the first to admit to it.  I battle little devils (no that's not a reference to my children).  Some of those devils are my own and some belong to others that I unconsciously take upon myself.  Those demons shove me in a dark hole sometimes but it was in the last year that I realized those devils can be blown away when I realize something.
I'm blessed.
I'm chosen.
I'm taken.
I'm blessed in that I was so easily willed two children.  These two children are my little paradises on earth.  They show me how to live my life - with eyes that only see the good and are never afraid of the glimpses of bad.  A little girl who is learning all about faith and who can teach me more faith based lessons than any minister or Bible teacher.  When I erupt she is so calm.  She gives me one look that says, "Its ok.  You're ok.  I'm ok."  And in that instant it is clear - my child is showing me the love of something more powerful than a mama.
I'm blessed in that my son was born healthy.  All those fears from February forward were washed away on the day he was born and the doctor said - "He's fine!"
I'm blessed with a wonderful husband who allows me to be home with our children.  He works endlessly to make sure financially we are sufficient.  He is a good dad.  He has huge heart and the patience of Job.  He is the true yin to my yang.
I'm blessed in that I truly do not ever have to worry about the roof over my head (though from the road yesterday I may a little if it decides to drip drip drop those rain pellets on me....).  I do not have to worry about the food in my fridge.  I do not have to worry about how I will get from point A to point B. 
I am blessed in that I am healthy.  But I need to be more aware of that blessing so that my health doesn't faulter.
But even better than the blessings I have is the fact that I am chosen.
I was chosen long before I ever realized it.  When I vowed that the idea of God was like a smile on a dog - not real just an illusion, I had already been chosen.  I had already been picked to be on His team.  When I laughed at the "Bible" thumpers and thought them uneducated - I had already been placed on His list. 
Broken, banged up, bruised......and chosen.
And taken.
I am taken - no one will ever have me - though they try.  I am taken by the One who chose me, who also took me and tells me - Brownie, you are mine and I will be jealous of you until I reclaim you to where all my blessed and chosen children are taken when their time has ran out on that revolving sphere below.
When I allow myself to remember these truths then all my brokenness is gone and I begin to feel whole.
Unfortunately, it is not all too often I remember these promises.  I let it get away from me and am consumed by this world.  That's my achilles heel.  That's my flat tire.
Then it happens....my child, husband, or even my doggie sparks that reminder.
I am blessed.
I am chosen
I am taken.
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And so are you.
I don't care if your Methodist, Baptist, Catholic, Presbyterian, Scientologist, Jewish (yes you have always been chosen, I know!), Daoist, Buddhist, Islamic, Atheist, Agnostic, it does not matter.... You are chosen.
It doesn't matter if you are gay, straight, felon, minister, teacher, student.
If you are a sinner - you are chosen.
If you are broken - you are beautiful.
The catch to all of this?
You have to make the true realization within yourself that you are blessed.  All that gradeur that you see is not something you were ever owed but something you were given.  You may say:  No Brownie no one gave me this, I had to work for it.  The ability to work for it, to live in a place where you were given the opportunity to be available have all that wonderful "stuff" - all those wonderful people - all of that opportunity is a blessing.
You are chosen.  You were made from a grand design.  Though you carry that excess around the middle, you buy Clairol, you feel inadequate at whatever - you're still made from the best salt and the most beautiful clay.  You were chosen long before you realized it because the person who made you -no not the cells, but the being that created the recipe that is you chose every single good grain that makes you up.
You are taken.  This is the tricky part.  You may not be taken yet.  See, you are responsible for realizing your blessing and understanding how you were chosen - after you come to that realization you will be able to say - Yes I am taken and nothing else will be able to have me because I allowed myself to be taken by the one who blessed and chose me.
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I am not perfect.
I will never be.
That is a relief.

But I am always:
Blessed
Chosen
Taken

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The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

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Until we meet again -


Brownie

Budgeting the Bread

1.29.2013 Today is bed cleaning day.  We're cleaning all our bed linens and mattresses.

Ever heard the phrase - "You make your bed you lay in it"?

Today I'm cleaning those beds we lay in.  That's not really what today's blog is about though - not the actual beds we sleep in each night. 

In honor of January 31st - the date that W-2's must be given to employees by their employers by - I am going to tackle (hopefully in a fun way) the budget system. 

Disclaimer:  these are tips from me, Brownie, that I have used. I am not a professional financier or Montel Williams. These are common sense.  If you want me to elaborate I will in an email.  And I know you know my email address.  I'm going pretty bare bones basic and trying to make you chuckle as well.

Part one!

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“While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”
― Groucho Marx

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Lets get dirty honest.

Look around your house - what do you own?  I mean really own.  You have paid for it in full.

You probably named off a lot of things or took note of a lot of things in your mind. 

Ok, now let me ask you that same question so that you are forced to be accountable.

Look around your house - what do you really own? (Insert your third grade teacher's voice now) Really, in this sentence, means you have no debt against it, you didn't swipe the card for it and you're still paying on that swipe bill you get each month.

If you really own something you are not making monthly payments on it.  If you are making monthly payments, well someone else owns that thing you just counted as yours.

If you are like most Americans in 2013 - you don't own too much.

Right now I can tell you I do not own my fridge, dishwasher, dryer, or car.  They are all owned by the furniture store and Bank of America.  However, in a month I will own my car and in three months my appliances.  (Personal cheering section begins cheering now, woo hoo great handspring thing.)

Are you feeling low?  Well don't!  You are not low, you are one classy fashionista/er.  You just may be like I was and in a financial mess.  Time to spiffy up darling.  Time to take charge....oh man totally wrong choice of words.

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I have always had a fear of debt.  Debt sucks, debt can control your life.  Unfortuntely, the fear of debt is few and far between in our population today.  Just look at our government, they love debt!  They love China!  China is their Visa.  So sad.

When I went off to college I got something called a crap card, I mean credit card.  Nobody needs one.  They are evil little magnetic strip hoochies.  You are accountable for a swipe and you are accountable for a bill and most kids don't truly realize the swipe creates a bill and the more swipes the bigger the bill.  A lot of kids see that credit card statement at the end of the month and go - "Like oh my gahhhh!  Where did his enormous bill come from?"  Surprise ditzo, it came from your spending habits!  Way to go on being financially enslaved! (Kids and money will be a blog for another day this week)

Tip number 1:  Do not get a credit card.
Tip number 1a:  If you have one, cut it up.  Its over.  Its done.  Your credit card is not you confidante but your cheating lover who is screwing you over everywhere but where it counts.  (Ok that was raunchy, sorry, but you secretly loved it.)

Credit cards are set up to suck your blood.  So if you're all up in the Twilight saga these are the bad news vampires not the fun ones that make you want to grow fangs and get with some pastey white dude. 

Every time you swipe you lose.  So if you want to be a winner you will stop with the credit swiping.  I like this phrase:  Every time you swipe a card you're getting swiped even more.

Did you know the majority of Americans do not use credit cards on necessities but on "wants".  Believe it or not that television is not necessary for your sustainability on this earth.  Neither is the pocketbook that costs what two months grocery trips would also cost.

And p.s. if you buy it with plastic its going to cost you more in the long run when it is eventually your own personal property and not Mastercard's.

There are times to use credit and we'll discuss those later. (It will take like two sentences)

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Tip dos - Stop trying to be someone you aren't.

You have been preached this lesson since you entered the world - be yourself.  But the life of the homosapian is quite hypocritical.  Somewhere along the line we decide to say you need to be more like Bob and Sally instead of being ourselves.  This can lead to an American pit called "status symbols" -

Half the people driving, carrying, living in, and showing off those "status symbols" do not own those status symbols. 

The moral of the story is - are you seriously envious of debt?

The sad truth - apparently a lot of people are.

This is where the big issue lies in finances, compulsive eating, anorexia, cutting, you know all those personal demons.

You're trying to fill a void, whether you are eating the entire chocolate cake followed by three bags of cheesey poofs or you are going out tomorrow to buy that Nintenboxstation because all the guys have one.  The void will not be filled by buying stuff you can't pay for with cash and will not be filled by eating the entire bakery. 

The void will only allow itself to be filled if you can be dead honest with yourself and uncover and take control of the true problem underneath all those designer clothes.  Uncover the root of the problem that drives that desire for the over priced luxury car.  Find what is driving you to think you have to have to the lavish even though your salary is saying - you'll never get out of the red until you respect me.

The reason you got fifty tattoos last year, the reason you cry in the bathroom at 11:34 every day, the reason you keep lying over and over again - its the same reason that you will be in financial turmoil if you don't face who YOU are and what your demons are.

A lot of people want to feel in control by spending.... outside their means.  Swiping a card that you will only be able to make the minimum payment on is not giving yourself control.  It is allowing one more thing in your life to control your every move. 

Get dirty with yourself.  Look at yourself and cry and scream and punch the wall but get real with who you are and why you think its so bad to be beautiful you.  Make a pact to start fresh, to fall in love with the person you keep trying to suppress, the real you.

Then take control of your money.  Realize you need to be in control of that green stuff in your pocket so you can truly be free from so many burdens.

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Tip three - Budget your booty

Chances are you have a job (me, unpaid).  Chances are someone in your home has a job that makes bread.  (Bread as in money, not Panera). 

Sit down with a piece of paper, pen, calculator and get to budgeting.

Every single penny should be accounted for. 

Bob makes $700 a week after taxes well c'mon now.

Every single penny, nickle, dime, quarter, dollar should be accounted for.  There should be no "lost" money in the picture.  Lost money is the money that you cannot account for.  Hmmm where did that $40 go?  Treat your money like your other child.  You should always know where little Jimmy is at at all times.  You should always know where every penny of yours is too

Figure in the extras too - date nights, underwear shopping trip, Fido's grooming appointment. 

The point is a budget will keep you in line and help you meet financial goals. Speaking of that....

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Set financial goals.

Got debt?  Start knocking it down.  No more minimum payment junk.  Pay on that credit!  Get that crap out of your life.

Start with those little debts.  Maybe you owe the dentist $200 - well get rid of it.  Maybe you owe $75 on a Gap card, well pay it and get it gone.  Get the little guys gone so you can put more money towards paying the big guys.

And then celebrate your success.  When you deplete $1,000 of debt then do something nice for yourself that you can pay for with cash for less than $50.

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Hold up, wait a minute, let me throw a monkey wrench in it.

So you're excited!  You want to pay off all the debt this year.  Ok great but remember to be realistic.  Um you do need to eat and you may need a new bra or Billy may need a cup for baseball season this year.

When you budget, budget a certain amount every month for unexpecteds.  Some call it an emergency fund.  You know, when your kid decides to be a gymnast on the monkey bars and breaks their arm in forty seven places - you may need $150 for a copay at the ER.  You may also need $40 for an Rx at the pharmacy.  If you have four legged children - one may decide to make a new friend with a very angry wilderness beast and end up needing a trip to see Mr. Vet.  Your car may be damaged in some way and need repairs.  A tree could fall on your house.  There are all kinds of crazy things that can happen - and a little money in the pot you forgot is good to have.

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Last one - if you are married you need to put that money together.  If you can't do that.....you shouldn't have got married.  Apparently you don't trust each other enough to share a checkbook and if that's the case you sure as fire don't trust each other enough to be legally bound til death do you part.

Marriage is two becoming one.  Its not two staying two.  Your debt combines, your wealth combines. 

You are supposed to be a team.

If you cannot be a team at the bank - you cannot be a team at really anything else.....without too many fights, screaming matches, i hate you's, and tears.  Ahhh not the recipe for rearing happy children!

Also...its true more marriages crumble due to money than to somebody getting a little hoo hoo or pickadilly sandwich from another candy store counter.

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Ok I'm done.  I cannot type on this any further.

I can say that it has worked for me and my husband.  We will be 90% debt free by 12/31/13 (God willing and the creek don't rise) and baby doll that is the best freaking feeling in the world - to know pretty soon debt will be a thing of the past is so liberating.

These tips that I have used were for a debt under 16K.  However, I feel like they would be good for any amount of debt you may have.  I think its totally important to live frugal no matter how much money you are sitting on.  Remember in the blink of an eye you can lose your tail feathers, never let that thought escape you. 

And yes, I will visit more on money later (after a stiff drink or twelve).....but for today I just wanna.....

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Cook up some viddles with me!

Last night we had hamburger steak with mushrooms, onions, and green peppers.  I served it with rice and salad....yummy!

All you need:

Hamburger patties
S&P
1 onion (I used yellow) chopped
1 green pepper  chopped
8 oz of mushrooms
Tin foil

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
Place each patty on a sheet of tin foil
Lightly salt and pepper each patty
Cover each piece of meat with the veggies and mushrooms
Wrap somewhat tightly in tin foil (so juices don't leak out)
Place on a cookie sheet and bake for about 40 minutes.

I placed ours on a bed rice.

Good eating and very inexpensive (fitting for the post). 

And I was too hungry to take a final picture, we devoured it quickly. 

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Until we meet again -


Brownie

Parghhhh!

1.28.2013 - The very last Monday of the very first month of the very new year.

You made it through your first 2013 set of Mondays!!!  Well almost.  Congrats that's worth something don't ya think?

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Question of the day:  Would you rather donkey bootie or a stallion bootie? 

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How was your weekend?  I hope it was purely fantastic.

Saturday was pretty squishy.  The ice melted and the mud consumed the land.  I had some nice tracks through my livingroom - after checking them out I realized they belonged to a human man.  I put my gun away after I realized he wouldn't make for good eating. 

The hubby got much needed haircut. Thank God he's not into growing the hair out like he was all into the "Viking" beard idea.  My husband has what I call "Andy Taylor" hair.  Andy Taylor was the sheriff on the Andy Griffith Show (a religion in North Carolina).  Anyway, he had this big bodied hair that made this wave on top of his head and if my husband allows his hair to grow out - well he becomes Andy Taylor.  Or he becomes the poster child for the Homeless Haircut.  A shaggy mess of here and theres clumped all about.  Its like a cow with low sodium licked his head for a week thinking it was a salt block. So yes, it was much needed. 

From there we decided to eat.  When you lose ten pounds in a hair dresser's chair you need to refuel.  We tried out a new little hole-in-the-wall and it was surprisingly good!  Cold as an Alaska morning in there but really tasty.  The menu - limited.  The food - good quality.  The final result - we'll be back.

Saturday was also a holy day in North Carolina.  The Mighty Wolfpack of North Carolina State (stop....please pause for a memorial to when I used to party my tail off in Raleigh....keep pausing....ok.....ok thanks) played the Blue Mountain Goats of Chapel Hill.  I don't necessarily hate UNC, I mean they churn out some great doctors, dentists, nurses, teachers, etc.  But their athletics department....yeah no real respect there.  I have some colorful adjectives for Mr. Roy Williams - he has started to realize his poop does have the same aroma as everyone else's, but I just lack any respect for the man.  That is sad and bad and terrible.  I can admit it.  I also feel bad for those players - bless their hearts.  If they don't get into the NBA they are screw balled.  I know most schools have an "athletic academia" section that is "hidden away" but seriously UNC is known for having one of those insane ones.....I believe Jerry Stackhouse graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Toaster Mechanics. ;-)

Ok all that aside - the Tarheels and Wolfpack met up at PNC Arena and the Pack held their ground and ate some goat for dinner.  It was a great night for us Wolfpack fans.  We don't get to expereince a lot of W's and when we do we just relish in the feeling of having a winning team - especially against UNC and the powerhouse once known as Duke.  (Coach K, whaddaya say?  Going down again today?)  Of course the Pack had to scare the immortal dookie out of us at the end of the game but they ended up not reverting to playing like a group of kindergartners to give away a win.

All was well in NC for those of us who bleed red.

Oh and if I have to root for blue it is Duke I choose.  SO Coach K get your team together son.

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Sunday - fun day.  Oh how I love Sundays, oh how I love Sunnnnnnn-days, oh how I love Sundays because they are the day after the Sabbath.

So we got up, drank coffee, made breakfast and then something magical happened - I went to church alone.  Now don't get me wrong, it is nice to go to church with your family but sometimes...yes sometimes (cue the organ music now), I tell ya sometimes you need some time in the church house on a Sunday, mmm hmmm, when you don't have to worry about the baby screaming his head off (amen, amen) or the baby deciding to crap all over his diaper and ruin his clothes and you end up in the nursery the entire tim (that's right!  preach!) and there are sometimes at the church house, when you don't need the five year old saying "but mama I want to go to the back" fifteen times a minute (that's right amen!), sometimes you don't need the distraction you just need you and the pew and the silence.....and all God's children said, Amen.

(Ok turn off the organ music, we don't even have one at my church)

Yes, I went to church alone.  It was nice.  The music was good too - Morning Has Broken and then a the end we sang Power In The Blood (which I always thought was a Baptist only hymn because I have only heard it in the Baptist church.  I also thought it was only sang by one member of our community who I have heard sing it every Palm Sunday for three years.)  In the South - which is totally where that hymn had to originate you don't say Power but you say Pear no that's not even it you say Pah-arr, yes that is it.  It makes me laugh.  It is like the church morphs into a load of pirates.  Pargghhh!

There is pah-arr, pah-arr, wonder workin' pah-arr in the blood of the lamb.

God help any yankees who couldn't see the words.  They would be going - what the crap are these people singing?  There is pear in the blood?  Well that's healthy.

It was a good weekend.....

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So a little housekeeping - what are you doing for the Superbowl?  I smell a grill and some friends....better jump on that!

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I had some recipe or food idea emails - I feel ya'll!  Sometimes it is hard to put together an idea for dinner.  So tonight I'm making oven hamburger steak nestled with onions, green peppesrs and mushrooms.  Our sides will be romaine salad and rice.  I will have pics and all that jazz for you tomorrow.

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My answer to the question of the day:   I don't want to be a jackass or a horse's ass.

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Until we meet again -


Brownie

The Dirty Cold South

1.26.13 I wrote this yesterday, deleted it all, and here I am again.

Housekeeping: my boy is 5 months and two days old.  There is some ice on my driveway.  The temperature didn't make it out of the twenties yesterday.  I still tell myself - "the ground will be great for spring....the ground will be great for spring...."

My daughter is showing signs of potential nut job.  She tried to give the cat a bath in the toilet yesterday and then she threw her down one story of our house.  Contacting a psychologist STAT!  (Then her dad told me he used to throw cats too, so I guess its genetic?)

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The dirty south gets dirtier when the ice comes to town.  I'm thinking the usage of ice in that sentence may make you think that I mean the street drug of the 90's....or the white rapper of the 90's?  I actually mean ice - as in the solid form of water. 

No pretty snow for us.

Just ice.

Ice ice baby.

So schools shut down super early because the idea of the big cheese taking a big slide was not a good idea at all - if you live here that is pronounced ah'tall.

I was really disheartened by many parents who were so terribly upset their child was "forced" to eat lunch at 9am.  Last I checked no kid is forced to eat lunch.  Forcing a kid to each lunch would be taking the spoon and shoving it down litte Johnny's throat.  So here comes the PSA of the day.  If it steps on your piggies you can wahh wahh wahh all the way home.

Surprise!  You live in America.  I'm not sure you are very aware of this country you call home.  You know this place where we run to the rescue of other nations before we take a good, hard look at the crap that is going on in our own. 

Surprise!  You live in North Carolina.  We are like the other 49 states in the union trying to make everyone else think we have it all here.  Ocean, mountain, prosperity, gated communities, good schools, good health care, happy people. 

Surprise!  You are living in a dream land if you honestly think that every family in North Carolina is getting by just dandy in 2013.  Do you realize we have homeless children in the school systems?  Yes we do.  They live in shelters.  They live in tents.  They live in campers.  We have children who have to take turns eating breakfast...and people I do not mean they take turns sitting down to eat at a table in intervals. I mean they take turns eating a meal - as in its Monday so Johnny will eat today and on Tuesday Sally will eat.  I am not kidding you.  This is not a joke.  This is not a guilt trip.  This is reality and reality bites.

As I heard and read various rants, by people who try to wear the mask of "I'm a God fearing great human being," I was forced to realize that these people are so incredibly out of touch with what they want to be pseudo martyrs for.  I was sick to my stomach.

You complain your child lost $4 to a school that forced them to eat.

I want you to take a moment and read this next bit several times.

Did you ever think that not every child in that school was going home to a true piece of real estate?  One that would offer them heat on a twenty-three degree day?

Did you ever think that not every child in that school would have a convenience meal or snacks waiting on them when they got to where they live?

Did you ever think that not every child is as blessed as yours?

Did you ever think a solution to save you $4 was to single out all the kids who get free lunch, reduced rate lunch and bookbags of food for the weekends?  Because we know we want to help you out since you have that Disney vacation planned in a couple months.

Do not turn this into a welfare, system riding rant - its not.  This is strictly about children who deserve their tummies be filled at school if they cannot get it at home. We won't delve into why these kids don't get nutrition at home, that's beside the point of this message, we will all agree (I pray) that the children deserve a "balanced" meal and if school is where they have to get it from then that is where it will come from.

The next time you want to bitch and complain about your kid being forced to go to lunch at 9am I want you to remember one thing - we're here to take care of each other and part of taking care of one another is remembering those who are less fortunate and who don't have all the wonderful blessings that were bestowed upon us.


My last comment on this is: whatever you said and how you contorted your face to your kid about lunch at 9 formed an impression on your child.  From that impression they drew from watching and hearing you they developed a response.  That response will be mini mirror of how you dealt with that situation.

You should take these experiences as tools for teaching your children how incredibly lucky, blessed, and amazing their life is as compared to other children in their own community.  You could even take it one step farther and putting your good fortune to use - helping those who need it. 

The last thing we need is more self centered brats in this world of self centered brats.

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A little note:  I'm not setting myself apart from this.  There are times when I screw my face up and go what the crap?  But I strive to always take ten seconds before responding to compose myself and try to find the message that will turn the moments of complaint into a lesson.

Having worked with a family years ago (college experience) who did have to take turns having meals - this problem of food scarcity in the home really hurts my heart.  It is a real problem and it needs to be combatted.  Many of you are thinking - "get foodstamps" - believe it or not there is a portion of our population who need them desperately but will not get the assitance they need because their pride is too great. 

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Stay warm this weekend.
Take care of one another.

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Until we meet again -


Brownie









. 

Cleaning dirty teeth and cleaning your outlook

Hanging out at the next best place to Disney Land today! Yay the dentist! I know you are terribly wanting to be in my shoes. Calm yourself!
It is cavity filling day. Stop jumping up and down. Your day will come ok?
I used to be scared of all things dental. Then I pushed a kid out. Everything is way easier and not so scary after you do that.
I have an awesome dentist now. Great attitude, respectful, funny. That chairside attitude means a lot!

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So here is a struggle I want to share with you.

I have a five year old daughter.
There I said it.

Whew!

Oh you knew that? My bad.

Here's the deal. She is my little ball of dancing and singing happiness.

She is also my little heartbreaker.

She breaks my heart.

That is the silent rule of daughters. We all have to break our mama's hearts as we grow up. Normally, we do this as we inch towards adolescents. Snide comments, body language, you know the drill (stop acting perfect, that's so annoying.)
My little girl is not breaking my heart with those actions just yet. She really has no clue she is even breaking my heart at all.

I dropped her off at preschool and her teacher said those words no mama ever wants to hear,

"I need to talk to you."

Those six words translate, in mama language, to "Oh smack your parenting sucks."

I'll admit as soon as I heard her say that my stomach flipped.  My eyes filled up with water.  I didn't know what was coming but was pretty sure it was something bad.  Oh Lord did she hit someone?  Did she say something ugly?  What has this spawn of mine done?

We stepped out of the classroom.  In a matter of seconds it was no longer, "what did she do" but it was "what did I do?" -

What she did was break down in class the day before.  Her eyes welled up with tears.  She wanted her mommy.  The teacher tried to calm her down.  Nothing noticable had triggered it, at least not by a classmate or an action or a word.  She just wanted her mommy.

But why did this child who loves to tell me - "Mom you have to drop me off!  No adults allowed!"  decide in that moment yesterday that she wanted me?

And then it clicked on the light of the closet of yesterdays. 

After her brother was born she would do the same at a youth event at the church we attend.  Then she'd do it at dance class.

Was it the fact that she no longer was an only child?  She had a little brother now who would share the spotlight with her.

Sure that's part of it.  Undoubtedly, its a big portion of it, the arrival of sibling(s) alters anyone's life whether you have babies on top of babies or space it out 5 or 14 years.

But I cannot be a bad mom and just say its my child's battle.  It isn't.

Yes - she will get over it.
Yes - she will move past it.
Yes - its a phase.
Yes - its part of the age she is.

But if I want her get through it without being scarred or warped I have to woman up and realize that this is my problem too.

Two kids tire you out.  Especially when you are with them non stop all day and all night.  But that is no excuse to say, "No story tonight" (which I have done).  Two kids can zap you of your energy reserve no matter how much Super B Complex you take but that is no excuse for you to say, "I don't have time to play right now (for the fourth time that day)." 

The little tiny things that we (adults) think aren't a big deal, skipping a story time, playing dolls, racing matchboxes are really very big things to the very little people in our lives.

Yes, my child wanted her mommy yesterday.  It wasn't a cry out from a spoiled rotten place - and trust me she has that space!  It was a cry out from the:  I need my mommy place.  That's a place in all of us that will never disappear.  No matter how old you are.  No matter how incredibly hard you try to wish it away from your being - there is a part of you that will get to a point where you just want to curl up in a ball and let the tears roll wishing your mommy could make it all better.

Even the people who had "bad" mommies or mommies that were never really present.  They still have that space that cries out - "Where's my mama?  I need her."

I took my three minutes with a preschool leader today to heart.  I heard the words she was saying (its just a phase but you should know...) and I heard the words my heart was saying (stop with the crap).  No more can I put things such as story time and playing store on my "things I can skip when I feel too rushed or tired" list.  Because the more they end up on those lists the more hurt they do to my child and to myself.

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Someone emailed me they "suffered from mommy guilt" because they were a working mom.  They felt like they were missing the big stuff in their child's life and all of the little stuff due to having to punch a clock from 8am-4:30pm.  She said she was afraid her child would hate her as they got older. "The way my calendar looks makes people think all I value is my time away from family and home - regular work, side job, all these plans away from my child."


I shared this today because I thought it was interesting how reading that email a couple weeks ago and how my day has panned out shows that no matter where you are working - out there at a cash register, desk or in exam rooms - or at home by the kitchen stove and toilet, you can always feel the pressures of motherhood and get drained by the little meany named mommy guilt.

Slow down, re evaluate the true priorities, pray on it, let the signs and signals guide you.  You'll be ok.

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Recipe time!  Hearty meal for hearty post....and its heart healthy.  I lied when I said this was vegan.  It is not vegan.  I'll explain that in a moment.

Not So Vegan but Highly Vegetarian Chili

1 can of mexicorn - drained
1 can of black beans - drained & rinsed
1 can of dark red kidney beans - drained & rinsed
1 can of light red kidney beans - drained & rinsed
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 onion chopped
1 pkt of ranch
1 pkt of chili mix
Pepper to taste
1/2 c water
(If you don't have a chili mix you can use chili powder and paprika.  No monkeys were harmed in the making of this chili.)

Throw it all in the crock pot on high for three hours.
Stir it often

Eat up!

Why is it not vegan?  Vegan requires no animal product and your chili mixes and ranch packet may have a bit of dairy or egg product in them.  This is so close to vegan you can taste the "live forever mentality" but its not totally vegan because it may have trace amounts of some animal product.

It is healthy, it is feeling and as my husband said:  "Its goooood!"

Disclaimer:  I am not to blame for your flatulance.

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Until we meet again -


Brownie

Officially speaking!

1.23.13  It is official.

I am a cat owner.  Let it be known.  Dear Jesus is this me mellowing out past my 20's?  I never liked these beasts aside from when I was ten.  Now as I type this calico fur bundle is sleeping away in the chair beside me.  She acts like she likes me.  I do not know why.  I do not pet her but once a day and I only pick her up to take her outside so she can do what normal cats should do - climb trees, chase small creatures, bask in the sun.  I am finding that is not what normal cats do but what feral cats do.  Normal cats sleep...in chairs....in heated homes.  Normal cats eat....alot.  Normal cats....are boring.

She makes my little doggie look so much more precious.

My cat is very in charge of every situation.  That food bowl that is obviously my dog's - no more its hers.  She's also extremely arrogant.  "Here Cathy, c'mon lets go in here..."  she sits up straight and stares me down as if to say - "Um no you stupid human I will decide when and where I go.  Go boss around your dog."

She's all about herself.  She's the girl you hated in high school.

Until my little girl pops up.  She carries the cat around like a sack of potatoes and the cat just tolerates it.

It amazes me.  She should be clawing and biting but she suddenly becomes submissive to a little blonde. 

I realize she's plotting her attack....her stealth attack.

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So yes I have a cat now and the only reason that becomes concrete is because today...I bought cat litter.  <Shaking my head slowly in a no no fashion with eyes closed>

I wonder if in my book of life that was written a long time ago it said - "And the girl will submit to feline at age 31 and will take the drive of shame to purchase cat litter for the animal who has now invaded her space that she has ultimately allowed to invade her space."

Or maybe....

"And the girl who is now a woman will submit to feline who will be calico who her daughter will go bonkers over and carry around and say how much she loves the feline.  Therefore, she will make the trip to the big store by the interstate to purchase necessities for the adored kitty of her daughter.  She will be a good mommy for this."

Or maybe....

"Mickey and Minnie were no more because of a feline allowed to hang out in her house so she became a cat owner.  The fact her kid was so in love with the mouse killer iced the cake on keeping it around.  She will forever be a dog freak and now cat tolerator."

Yep that's it.

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So a lot of people liked me rant on getting the female exam.  Some of you mentioned menopause to me.  Ok I haven't got there yet so slow down you "playpen installation" women.  But I will write on it sometime.  I mean lets just throw up all the joys of womanhood shall we?  Maybe we will devote February to the cause of women's glorious health.  I mean it is already GO RED month for heart health.  I'm sure I can twist some health issues into something fun to talk about.  It may not be a drop your panties party but leave it to my sly brain to find something catchy for you. 

It is official, I'm a blogger.

I've also had some requests of discussion of money.  Ergh.  Yeah that crap.  So perhaps yes.

A LOT of people want to know about my theological beliefs.  I throw a lot of stuff at ya sometimes and people have said they just don't get what I am.  Oh I can tell ya.  Maybe I'll put a few blogs together in the future on that one.  I may need a disclaimer on it.

Parenting - well you know I'm such an expert - said no one ever.  But I'll share my issues.

Marriage - got the biggest group of emails ever.  I'm not Dr. Phil or whoever talks about marriage but I can share things I have learned and observed.  That's fine and dandy.  Marriage is pretty insane ya know.  I mean seriously.

My humor has also got a lot of emails.  So far everybody likes the line about crying in the bathroom due to lack of water intake.  So funny how reality causes us to bust a gut.

Lastly, someone said they wanted to follow my blog but do not know how.  Guess what?  Neither do I.  Just click around or favorite me in your bookmarks and check for updates.  And thanks to those of you who have shared my bloggy poo.  Please do continue!

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Preschool started back today so I'm going to end this blog right here and jump on some chili making - vegan chili honey.  Oh yes.  I will share this recipe with you...but not today!

Today I order you to grab a cup of coffee and brownie and be so unhealthy.  You deserve it.

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Until we meet again -


Brownie

Strip down and spread 'em

1.22.13 Its a panty dropping kinda day.

I guess my title for today's blog and my date note caught your attention.  You're such a vixen for continuing to read....

Today is the kind of day when you are reminded what it means to be a girl.  Its that day you wear your cutest or prettiest undies and make sure you smell oh so yummy good.  I bet you do a little "landscaping" in honor of this precious day on your calendar.  You sexy mama.

Today is the day you are going to do a little something something for you.

Yep, you guessed it....

You're getting your yearly physical.

Today was my day in the gynecological sun.  My year always starts off with a good ole feel up for the sake of staying healthy.  It went very well.  We women had a glorious time together - nothing beats a good five minutes of boobie mashing and KY jelly for the ovary check.

Everything looked good so said the doctor.

Advances in technology are to be celebrated people.  To think so many people do not take advantage of getting "checked" out due to fear baffles me.  I bet you know someone who is afraid to have a pap smear.  We all know that one girl (bless her cotton pickin' heart) who thinks that getting a pap smear rates up there with getting a labotomy. 

Truth be told....a pap smear or women's physical is not that bad at all.

When I was going to school for the public and working with the public in a very public place I would talk to young girls who were sexually active about getting checked out.  These sweet little naive babies didn't need to have babies (and in all honesty did not have any business getting down to business with any nasty boy in the first place).  When we would talk about getting on the pill they would freak out and say "I ain't letting nobody stick nothing up in me.  My (insert family member's relation here) told me that hurts."

Ok take a minute and if you are like Brownie, then you have this screwed up look on your face, you know the kind, when you expect something to be so good to the palate and instead it was made of rancid ingredients.

They aren't letting anyone "stick" anything up in them.  Well, how now brown cow I think that's a farce.  I believe the whole reason they were seeing me is because they were indeed letting something be stuck up in them. 

So we would discuss the procedure of being "papped" and then we would discuss how quick and painless it actually is - especially if you are already sticking things up there. 

Here's the deal:  You don't want cancer!  You want to prevent cancer!  You want to prevent your early demise! You don't want anything bad going on in your lady parts - and honey you got a lot of lady parts.  So you schedule your physical STAT.  It will take a whopping five minutes to get your boobies felt up and your cervix swabbed and your ovaries checked and then you walk out - no not like you have been riding bareback in the mountains of Wyoming but just the same way you walked in...normal. 

I challenge you to challenge yourself - if you are afraid - to make an appointment and GO to the appointment just to make sure everything down there and right there is kosher.  Chances are you are going to have the healthiest cervix and ovaries and boobs on the planet.  But it makes you feel so much better to actually hear that from the doctor.  And if you are cool going in for this female fun then challenge the person you know who is afraid to get it done!  You may save their life.

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I personally love my OB/GYN.  I started going to her the week my son was due.  Yeah you read that right.  I'm not kidding.  She was a referral because I had to get out of the trainwreck of the place I had been going. 

It is amazing to have a doctor who is so on point.  She's hilarious and straight forward and I am so glad I have her as my provider.  It means a lot to have a doctor like that.  I don't feel like a chart number there and that's awesome sauce. 

*********************

Panty dropping leads to babies.  I'm not sure if anyone shared that with you.  Today there was an obvious panty dropper in the room beside mine.  It must have been the first time she dropped her panties because it was her first pregnancy.

I was listening in to her appointment.  I admit it.  Bad me.  But it was amazing to hear it.

She was nervous and scared and filled with questions.  She is at 32 weeks and was getting the quick classroom portion of fetal movement counting and the beginning of labor. Her main concern:  "What about the epidural?"  To which the response came - "Just ask and you'll get it."  Laughter - you know that reassured, whooo weee laughter.  Then I heard that sound that makes mamas stop dead in their tracks and tear up or smile or both....a horse gallop "babump babump babump" - if you're a mama you know what it is.  No, its not the magical unicorn of the OB/GYN its the sound of that baby in your tummy's heart.

Its that sound that reminds you there is indeed a little person in there. 

But more importantly it tells you they are still alive.  Not every mama gets this blessing.

It is a magical, wonderful, amazing sound.

It was really just six months ago that I was hearing that sound on the machine as we awaited our little boy's arrival but man does it seem like it was years ago. 

Fact:  I got a little teary eyed listening to the mama-to-be and the baby's heart beat.  I kinda thought, am I really done with that part of my life?  Have I truly decided to close down the baby factory for good?  Would I want three kids?

Then I woke up - check please!  I am done!  I am so thankful for my two little healthy blessings and for the fact I still have mental capacities!  I can still dress and feed myself, I am done! 

*********************

Last night my husband shared some meals he'd like for dinner and I nearly passed out.  How many times have I asked him - "What would you like for dinner?"  And he responds, "I don't care."  I hate that!!!!  Pet peeve, yes you do care as to what you put in your gut, stop saying that!

So last night he named off several things.  It is funny what a hungry man will tell you.

Meatloaf was the dish of last night.  Yes, I know so foreign.  I will share the meatloaf recipe he likes. 

Tonight we will be having Chicken Alfredo.  (He really watches his waistline I tell ya)

But for now here is:

My hubby's favorite meatloaf.

1 lb of ground meat of your choice
1 egg
12 crackers
S&P for flavoring

Take all this stuff put it together (with your hands) and place it in a loaf pan.

On the stove top:
1 can of tomato sauce
1 can of water (use the tomato sauce can)
2 tbps brown sugar
1/3 c onions diced
2tbsp ketchup
Bring to a boil and let it boil for about a minute, remove from heat.

Pour a cup of the liquid in a bowl for use later.
Pour the remainder on the meat.

Pop in the oven (350 degrees) for one hour.

After you're done baking pour the 1 cup of liquid on top.

YUMMY per Brownie's hubby.

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Until we meet again (schedule your check, ladies) -

Brownie

Inauguration Day '13

1.21.13 - No school today.

I hope you had a great weekend.  Brownieworld was a happy place to be this weekend.  The weather was phenomenal - sunshine and short sleeves!  The kidlets were happy.  The hubby had Saturday off.  We squeezed in a date night that included a margarita (and for mere moments I was in a tropical locale contemplating a walk on the beach).  On Sunday my mom and I went to dinner and to see Lysa TerKeurst in Kernersville, NC.  The weekend wrapped up beautifully with me coming home to a house that my husband had nicely cleaned and two sleeping babies.

It is ok to be jealous.

Well, really its not ok to be jealous.

Ok here's the stuff I left out.  I have two teeth on my right side that are aching due to a cavity.  I had to take a leftover pain pill on Friday so I could sleep and ease my panic attack that the tooth was near abscess.  That one pill left me a zombie the entire twenty-four hour period that we called Saturday.  I cannot do any pain pill other than an Ibuprofen, one day I will realize that.  A cat showed up in the arms of my husband on Saturday.  This was an answer to a question posed to God - should I get a cat?  The clouds didn't part, the sky didn't open up, and thunderous voice did not say YES or NO!  But my husband showed up on my porch with a calico kitty in his arms and said "Look what we found" - that was a stressor.  Cats are freaking disease machines....I have two small children.  Oh my gah we are going to die of cat in our home disease! 

So now you may breathe.

Pefection is the story minus the details!!!!

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I was not ready to wake up this morning.  I seriously needed one more hour of sleep. 

I have written this blog three times already and deleted it three times already.

I am armed with coffee and an almost five month old......let 'er roll.

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Today is a day of tradition here in America.  As I type this Barack Obama is giving his first speech for his second term as president.  Tomorrow all will go back to normal.

I do not care for politics.  I personally see politics as not for the majority of people but for a select few people.  I get the "by the people part"....they do allow us to vote.  I view the House and Senate as overpaid and under examined, overrated and under informed by the people who matter....you and I.

If anyone in those two areas truly gave a damn about you and I....the little people....things may just be a bit different.  If they subjected themselves to the mandates and programs they force upon us they may get more respect from me. 

A government who cared about it's people would slash those salaries of theirs in half.  The half they were shed of would go towards their original premis - taking care of the nation's people.  The soldiers who put their life on the line for mere pennies.  The children whose parents have lost their jobs, homes, and food security.  The farmer whose crop - livelihood - failed to thrive in a drought. 

An American government that wasn't smeared would still be listening to its constituents.  There would be a respect for the regular man, woman, and child. 

A government for the greatest country in the world would not be bickering like children but would be working side by side using only the best ideas from both sides of the aisle to make this country truly the greatest country in the world for its children.  They would see the children who are catered to for every want and need.  And they would see the child who sustains his metabolic cycle on the items found in a bookbag from a humanitarian effort from a community group.

A government who would not just pull out a Bible for someone to swear upon for a testimony or promise for a job.  But they would pull out the Bible, Torah or Quran to find guidance in the hard decisions they face both on the scale of work and personal issue.

If our government, today, cared for this country - they would see the value in the basic dimension of family.  The importance of children having two parents that care for them and love them without end.  Family would be respected and protected.

No, I am not "proud" of my country.  But I do support my country.  I do not drip with patriotism but I drip with hope that my two children will not live in a dissolving stronghold of country their entire lives.  I also pray that this country never faces the hardships so many other nations' children face each and every day. 

Lastly, I may or may not have voted for Barack Hussein Obama.  In the end that just doesn't matter.  I subscribe to being a real Christian - not just a Sunday Christian but a Monday through Sunday Christian.  My faith tells me I am not the judge and I will never ever be the judge of any other person on this earth.  My faith teaches me that Barack Obama and myself were both created by the same Great Creator who transforms this Universe.  Therefore, as a Christian, I have a duty - to support our president and to pray for him as he takes on another four years of guiding our country and making the decisions that no one in their right mind would want to be accountable for.

This country needs no more di-vision than it already has.  I just hope I am not alone in this thought.

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And to leave you with a smile - the most powerful man in DC today - Jay-Z - HOLLA!

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Until we meet again -


Brownie

What does God's laughter sound like?

God has a sense of humor.

Saturday afternoon while mopping the upstairs rooms of our house, music on, baby watching me from his exersaucer, beautiful day, sunshine coming in through the windows.  The scene is set.  Daughter and husband outside enjoying some sunshine.

I hear the door downstairs open and my husband kindly and calmly say my name.

Again he says it and the tone tells me something is wrong.  Oh my God my child is hurt and bleeding profusely and he's trying to be calm for her benefit.  That was what went through my brain as my pace began to gain speed down the stairs. 

I came around the corner and all I see is the storm door open and half my husband looking in.  Brace for impact, brace for impact!!!!

I walk closer and there it is......

I cannot tell you what went through my head because it was a huge blur from that point.  Here I had spent the previous 24 hours contemplating this very thing.  Now...it was staring me back in the face.  What the crap am I going to do?  Breathe.

Her name is Cathy.  She is stealth.  She freaks the crap out of me but my daughter (and husband, man points LOST) is smitten.

I guess when you pray on something so basic (and what seemed so silly)......you will get an answer.

I'm still a dog person.

***********************

Until we meet again -


Brownie

1,000+

You rock.  I have hit 1000 hits. 

A little housekeeping....

Still overwhelmed by the multitude of emails I am getting.  Thank you!  Some of you are requesting some topics and that is pretty darn nifty.  I am organizing and planning for future entries.  Until I get it all pulled together you'll get my random ramblings.

Thank you again!

And yes this edition is jam packed with both dry and wet humor.

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Well it "snowed" in NC.  Here we have two types of snow falls:  dusting or a dune.  We were supposed to get 2-4 inches and "this is the real thing".  I awoke to a dusting of icey mess.  My child tried to do all the typical snow worship activities one should be able to do in snow.  She attempted snow angels....I think I heard her jacket rip a little thanks to the shards of ice.  She contemplated a snowman then realized we were about a cup short to make one.  She tried to eat some (gross, I had just taken the dog out to pee).  Then she just looked at me.  I said, "We don't always get good snows"  She responded, "Its snow!"  I said, "Yes its more ice than snow."  She said, "Its pretty!"  I said, "Yeah it is."  To which she fell to the ground and tried once more to make the impression of a snow angel - she thinks she failed at the attempt.......I don't think she did at all.

I'm glad the winter wannabe weather is over.  I can now move on to 70 degree temperatures with inner peace. Unfortunately, I saw next Tuesday's high is in the 30's.  This is uncool and I don't mean that in any fashion other than boo boo boo.

I can pass along the news that the Ark Building Committee has decided to pack away our wood, nails and hav-a-hearts for another time.  It seems that the levy is fixed temporarily.

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I didn't let the crappy weather of the past night keep us in.  It was raining, snowing, and the wind was blowing about 45 mph but who cares.  We had dance class to attend!  It wasn't cancelled and I'm paying for her to go so we loaded up, hit the interstate, drove 50 mph, and got there safely.  We were one of four who braved the southern winter storm to go dance an hour away.  It was well worth it. 

My little girl has a great dance instructor.  Now that its cold I try to go sit inside for the last ten minutes of class so I can grab my kid and get out of the dance instructor's hair.  I get to hear her teach the kids.  You have to be a light and airy soul to work with a room full of 3-5 year olds.  Especially when they have on tap shoes.  Your sense of hearing is at its height as you listen to her tell the kids what to do over the music, you hear a lot of little sets of feet shuffling at different times and anywhere but in line with each other, then you hear all these high pitched little voices chattering and yelling and then giggles.

I look forward to the recital.

Last night dance class fell on over into our evening at home.  We decided to put the pillows down and do "tumbles" on the floor.  We have hardwoods.  Need I say more?  It was fun.  It was also the first time in probably 15 years that I did any tumbles whatsoever....and the first time in a good ten years they were done without the influence of adult beverages.  I stuck with the forward roll and did not attempt anything else.  My coach said I needed to work on them, I doubt I will but it was fun while it lasted.

At 31 I wish I could be going to dance class for myself.  No not zumba....real dance.  Its funny how having a child makes you miss some of the things you did as a child.

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Dear Lance Armstrong,

Who are you again?  I think you need to put the training wheels back on.

Sincerely,
Someone Who Could Care Less


Dear Notre Dame Football Player,

I also had an imaginary friend, however I was between three and four years old when mine was "around".  She lived in my well house and drove a car that had a toilet in it.  She commuted to Mexico every day.  I'm not sure if she's dead but if she ever comes back around I will tell her to tell your girlfriend hello.  I'm sure they hang out some.  Who wouldn't want to be friends with someone who drives a mogaline car.

Sincerely,
Someone who thinks you need some serious psychological help or to lay off the Honolulu Hooch you are trippin' on.

Dear MTV,

Thank you for teaching me what catfish means.  I always thought it was just something I enjoyed catching on the river.  Now I know the society in which I reside is truly ridiculous.

Sincerely,
Someone who remembers music videos.

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I am currently contemplating getting something I didn't think I would ever want.  Ok wait go back.  Yes I did want one when I was younger but wasn't allowed to have one (this has been discussed before).  However, circumstances are making the addition of one to our family a bit more logical to get one.  I can probably get one for free if I just put it out there.  My husband jokingly said "Put it on Facebook and I bet you can find a few of them."  Then he really got a chuckle when he said, "I know a place where you can get just the one you want, any color, any coat, any size..."  I have a friend visiting named Mickey (or Minnie, not sure) and I'm sick and tired of Mickey (or Minnie) coming by once a month, scaring the ever living crap out of me, and me patiently awaiting Mickey (or Minnie) to find their way into the lovely Decon no touch no see traps I have set out.  I have a dog but he is a hippie and at peace with all things in the animal kingdom - so yes I am saying I am contemplating a feline for my abode.  I know nothing of cats other than they don't like me.  They freak me out in a way.  When I see one I don't know I automatically go into distrust mode.  Cats look evil and they stare you down trying to decide if they should go with their inner tigress and maul your eyes out or just rub up against your leg fifteen times and leave you wondering - exactly what is this cat's intentions?  At least with a dog you can pretty much understand if indeed he plans to rip your neck apart or he's going to hump your leg.  Cats are just tricky.  Plus, I'm not even sure if you litter box train a cat or if they are so incredibly smart that they just automatically go to a litter box or paw the door to go out or do they jump on the thrown, do their business, wipe and flush. And if I had one that thing would have to be declawed - ferocious beasts - and then I begin turning this mouse killer into a pansy with no claws.

Screw it, I'm going to keep my Decons locked and loaded. 

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Maybe just maybe I will be starting my fast for Lent a bit earlier than the liturgical calendar states the beginning of it is.  I saw myself in the mirror earlier.  I believe I need to drop some baby weight a little faster than I am doing. 

This year I will be giving up all food.  I may be a bit weak by Easter but I know I'll feel closer to the Lord. 

Ok ok ok no I will not be giving up all food but I will be giving up white food.  Are you seriously racking your brain as to what white food is?  Ok you think I'm going to throw in some little funny here but I'm not.  I'm giving up white potatoes, white bread, white pasta, white sauces, do you see the pattern?  I need to give up white sugar but I also need to keep some sanity so I will continue to limit it but not X it out of my nutrition totally.  Remember this is for Lent.  And if you aren't too sure what Lent is well its pretty much the 40 days leading up to Easter - in honor of Christ giving up his earthly life for us we give up something in rememberance of Him during this time.  Not every denomination does it.  Some view that Christ gave up His life so we can continue on.  I view it as a great time to get healthier by restricting something of absolutely no value from your life and after 40 days you shouldn't want it anyway.  I'll keep you posted on my progress.

And no, white wine is not included in this fast....remember a miracle was water to wine and I don't mess with miracles.  (And if this is deemed not a miracle then we need to re-evaluate).

So if you're wanting to give up smoking go ahead and start on Ash Wednesday.....that is called dry humor people.

No seriously.  I invite you to join me if you want to start a little earlier than Ash Wednesday.  I will be happy be your accountability buddy.  And if you are Jewish or Islamic and you don't feel comfy giving something up for a Christian observance but you want to take part in dropping something unhealthy for a while then join in!

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Enjoy your weekend.  Most of you should be getting a long weekend thanks to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  in his honor let us have a weekend full of peace and friendship.

See ya next week.

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Until we meet again -

Brownie

Another ride on the rain train

1.17.13 - A long weekend may be awaiting you!

They say it is coming in this evening.  The white delicacy that we Southerners go ballistic over.  I imagine if they are correct schools will be on shut down tomorrow and everyone will be making southern snow day casserole.

"They" translates to local meteorologists.

"It" referes to the white delicacy known as snow.

"Snow day casserole" translates to a mixture of things people buy in bulk at the threat of bad weather in NC - bread, eggs, milk.  I'm not sure what the nutritional value is here.  I mean I understand your milk for the cereal (which my grandma and insane couponers have on stockpile), and to creme your coffee with.  I get the eggs for some protein in the event you ravage through that jar of peanut butter.  You may want to scramble, boil, or devil some ok.  Then you have your bread and I guess that is for sandwiches, toast, and homemade croutons?  Maybe its for a strange traditional meal of only eating eggs and toast and drinking milk until the snow goes away?  Oh hell I give up.  I just worry I have enough wine to get me through a night of icy roads.  By noon the next day I have no worries I can make it to the store to get whatever else I need.

Earlier in the history of this infant blog I posted I wanted one good snow.  Well if you ask you just may receive.  I wish I would have thought out my request a bit more.

Next year I may wish in this style:

I would love a winter that doesn't require me to contemplate the dimensions of the boat I need to build to survive the waterworld that is forming outside my door.  I would like a healthy amount of rain, snow, and sunshine for my winter bliss and that for the enjoyment of others.

The past 7 days of grey and rain have led me to be down and out about the pending wintry weather.  The ground has said a grumbling "OUT DAMN WATER" to what the sky is pouring down on it.  I have standing water in my yard.  Its a muddy mess.  Snow, though beautiful when falling and laying upon the ground, makes for an even bigger mess of mud when it melts.  That translates to bad floors, lots of vaccuming, mopping, and caked boots.

But enough of the grumbling.  At least we aren't in famine and drought.  The ground will be good for spring...the ground will be good for spring.

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My daughter is old enough to understand the term winter weather.  I told her yesterday they were forecasting snow and she let out a loud, high pitched squeal of joy (though in any different circumstance would be of fear).  This from my child who has seen snow nearly every year of her life - including a large Christmas snow two years ago!  It is fun to see it through her eyes.  Especially when you live in an area that doesn't get the guarantee of winter weather every winter season.  No matter how much we may wake up to tomorrow she'll be delighted and want to run out in it.  She'll treat it as if its the first snow she has ever seen and will laugh and run and never want to come inside again.  I should take a lesson from that.  Perhaps we all should.

Earlier in the blog I had reached out asking for a youth group opportunities for my little diva.  A friend messaged me and invited us to her church to join in their youth fun.  I am so glad we did.  My little girl is so excited for Wednesday nights to roll around.  She worked so hard memorizing her verses to earn her vest.  Starting so late in the year she won't be able to catch up with her peers but that hasn't stopped her in trying to!  Last night she came home with her book and vest and was ready to memorize her entire book to catch up.  I hope she always keeps that mentality.  The doors that will open for her if she does will be endless.  Once again - a lesson learned from a little kid.

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The anniversary planning is still underway - I thought we had found a place and then my husband began searching again on his lunch break. (And I thought it was my job to change my mind ten thousand times!) We are back in the search and find department of anniversary celebration planning.  He has his heart set on a certain style of accomodation.  At this point I just don't care as long as its free of Disney Jr.

Share your best romantic weekend stories with me - location, things you did (not that please) and all the cool parts (no, not that either you nasty thang).  Please refrain from telling me about your trip to a beautiful tropical land, I do not need winter depression setting in!!!

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I have a recipe for you.  It is one that I had to doctor up....and my husband decided to take the reigns on this one!  Being that we are in a chilly, rainy, gross time you need a good hearty stew.  Look no further than Portugal for this yummy take on potato stew. Anyway you can healthify it up by cutting butter, using water, and taking a light approach to salt (or no salt at all)

If you have never had kale before then you are in for an interesting treat.  If Kale were a veggie child it would probably be the product of turnip greens and broccoli getting together and procreating.  It has a very earthy, strong flavor. It is seriously healthy for you so yummy yummy in your tummy!

Kale & Potato Stew

2cups of kale (the vegetable not the NASCAR driver) rough chopped, no stems
1-2 potatoes
2tsp garlic seasonin of our choice (I used cloves, husband dumped in garlic salt)
5 cups of water or stock of your choice
1 tsp oregano
2 tsp Old Bay
3tbsp butter unsalted is all I use when I use it
S&P to taste

Take your potatoes and cut them into 8 pieces, along with 2 cups of your water or broth place in a pan - boil for fifteen minutes.

While your potatoes are boiling pour the rest of your water or broth into a pot, put your kale in, and your oregano.  Cook until the kale is tender - so about 10 minutes or so.

When your potatoes are done move them to your blender, ninja, or food processor.  Dump them in with about half a cup of the fluid you cooked them in.  Throw in your butter and some pepper.  Pulse until it is a nice chunky puree, about six pulses for my Ninja!  KA POW!

Make sure your kale is tender and pour your potato mixture in with your kale.

Add seasonings (garlic salt, old bay, s&p) or any others you think would be good on your palate.

Stir and serve!

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For the record, yes I cried at Modern Family last night.  Al Bundy, its all your fault.  It was a wonderful reminder of the blessings we are all bestowed throughout our lifetimes and how interesting the curve balls we are thrown can be. 

What is your curve ball that has turned into an incredible blessing on your life?  Share it.

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No matter where you are today I hope your day is safe and your toes are warm.  Frostbite is a bad friend. HA!

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Until we meet again -



Brownie

Listening to Dolly Parton & typing for you (and me)

1.16.13 - A day of thanks and outdoor bathing.  Save energy and take a bar of soap in your backyard.

Yesterday I wrote a blog, closed my computer and commenced on spending q time with the daughter.  I didn't think anything else of the blog.

Around 5pm I checked my email and was a bit overwhelmed.

"Thanks so much for that blog post today.  You may not know it but you read my mind about some issues I've been having with my marriage."

"Your blog today was just what I needed.  Thanks for that life preserver."

"I stumbled upon your blog and I think its the best thing that's happened thus far in 2013.  I enjoy escaping to Brownieworld each day you post."

"I'm a mommy too and you make me laugh so hard, cry, and say yay there's another mama like me!"

"Your faith inspires me.  I'm not a big time religious person and hate these blogs that throw it in my face but you come about it differently.  I see goodness in you."  (That one really really humbled me)

"Keep it up!!!  Please!"

I started a blog to put memories in order and share little things - I never thought I'd have anyone really read these posts but I was wrong.  Thanks to each of you who sent me such awesome emails.  I have taken all your requests and advice and I hope this blog continues to be a little bit of happy and help and hope to each of you.  Believe it or not you are all my happies, helps, and hopes.

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Enough!  We all got sappy there for a minute.  Wipe that sugary, sticky stuff off your hands - there's a wipe in the baby bag.

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So in the event you are thinking like me and living in one of the "second-coming-of-the-great-flood" areas of the United States we can commence on our ark building this afternoon around nap time.  If that works for you guys it works for me.  Remember everyone needs to bring their own bottle of wine or water.  Also, a finger food would be good as well. (Can you tell I was raised a Methodist....we love finger foods).

It is day 515 of downpours. grey skies, and flooding in North Carolina.  My child is getting good use out of her rain boots.  I do keep telling myself - good ground for the spring, good ground for the spring - however I am now thinking - budget in a trip to Fiji surely it isn't raining there.

Music choices for ark building:  Have You Ever Seen The Rain by CCR & Islands In The Stream by Dolly and Kenny!

Speaking of trips....we may have found our anniversary getaway location and accomodations.  That's a good feeling ya know...I had expected to be looking and researching up to the day we left.  Alas, we have more than likely found our little Anniverary Eden.  How does Tennessee sound?  Currently, if its not raining, great.  Any readers in TN?  We love your state!

And that's a great lead in to Wednesday tv in the house that is our home.  This is our Modern Family, Suburgatory, and Nashville night.  The kids are in bed by 8.  We are showerd and pajama-ed and on the couch with a snack and glued to laughing at the tv for two hours.  This is also a crucial part of our marriage - vegging out side by side with some tv that makes us laugh.  What would Wednesday be without Cam and Mitchell? What would Wednesday be without thick Colombian accents?  What would Wednesday be without a single dad in the suburbs?  Lastly, what would Wednesday be without a cheesey nighttime soap opera that both man and wife watch together?  Yes, Wednesday I love you. 

Now after typing about Wednesday I am sitting here going....."When did Wednesday get here so fast?"

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When I wasn't a stay at home sex kitten....did that make you laugh?  I was a working girl.  I got my first job at 13 and loved it!  I worked 2 hours every afternoon (m-f) doing payroll for a company in my hometown.  I LOVED WORKING!  You know why?  I loved having my own money.  I made 70.00 a week in 1995 and boy was I the shiz!  I kept working until I had my first baby.  At that point I became a stay at home mom for about 7 months then went back to working outside the home.  I loved meeting new people, having a desk, learning new things.  Then a lay off came at my last formal employer and I was one of the many who got escorted away from the building (no not in handcuffs but in the "we will blame this on the president when really we are greedy jerks" way.  Then the baby was born.  In today's world of "regular people" it wasn't feesible for me to go back to a normal out of the home job because I would be working to pay childcare for two children.  So I became a stay at home mom.

God bless the SAHM.  This job is filled with non stop excitement, dull intrigue and a clock that seems to whirl through the seconds, minutes and hours.  When I was in the traditional job setting I would stare at a calendar and think "Friday would you please come soon?"  Now I look at the calendar and say "What the crap?  It's already Wednesday?  Where is time going?"

Kids speed up your life.

I've had a lot of jobs in my short life.  The hardest job I ever ever have had is keeping a home and raising the kids.  My new job never ends.  At first it was overwhelming.  I felt like I could never just stop and breathe.  I had to be in constant motion.  My job - though the best in the world - was also the worst in the world. 

Dresscode, none.
Lunch break, when you made it.
Deadlines, unclear.
Coworkers, unavailable during business hours.
Consumers, always needing something.
DOL Rules, not applicable.

Some days I would just cry in the bathroom.  I want out!  I want somewhere to go!  So I would attempt to load up the kids and get in the car and drive to Walmart.  I would give up before we made it to the door.

Some days I would look for a job only to realize that I was not the demographic that was wanted in the work place and my money would ultimately belong to the childcare provider. 

Then I would feel guilty.  My children need ME, not some stranger who doesn't wash their hands and takes fifteen smoke breaks an hour or sees her job as getting paid to text.  (No, this isn't all childcare providers but at the rate I could spend without breaking bad...well that's probably what my options would be.  Our old childcare provider is near retirement and at capacity.)

Then it happened.  My epiphany or revelation or ah ha moment.  IF this is to be my job, I was going to make it like a job out there in the traditional work force.  I wouldn't be sad in the bathroom anymore (even though I did have a job in the traditional workforce that did make me cry in the bathroom).  I wouldn't be craving a Walmart trip to see that other people existed in the world (though in Walmart they are often times very scary and I would be better off not seeing such scary beings).  I created a schedule.

We are humans and humans - though you fight it and lie and say you do not - need schedules.  We need routine.  We need habits.  I was going about my day like a lab rat who needed ritalin.  I couldn't focus, I got overwhelmed, I was trying to do fifteen things in fourteen minutes.  I was a school teacher's nightmare.

So here's a slight taste of my schedule, maybe the new stay at homers will find it helpful.

6:30-6:45 wake up (open the eyeballs and look at the clock, take a deep breath, get up)
clock in
6:45-6:50 pee, wash hands, pour coffee, make bottle
6:50-6:55 change baby's diaper and hand baby over to baby daddy for feeding (this is the only time you get to be holy and personal for your own well being take advantage of it)
6:55-7:15 drink coffee, pack hubby's lunch, get on FB and find my "veggie" of the day and share, watch weather report, apply makeup (this is my holy time)
7:15-7:30 awake the daughter, help her get dressed, fix her breakfast, lay out her coat and bookbag
7:30-7:40 get dressed
7:40-8:50 on the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again
8:55-10:00 light housework that can be done within mere moments with or without baby on hip, blog, email (now is a good time to pee)
10:00-11:00 change and feed and play with baby (currently we shriek at each other because its all the rage as is sticking out the tongue....)
11:00-11:10 veg out for a hot second with Kathie Lee & Hoda (what are they drinking today? Could i get away with a bottle of wine at 11am, no don't try it then I'll be on Dr. Phil)
11:15-11:50 On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again
12 noon - lets fix lunch, lets eat lunch
1:00 Lets feed the baby, play with the baby, hope baby naps (perhaps pee again)
1:30-2:00 craft time or something to take place of a craft with the daughter
2:00-4:00 housekeeping (daughter assists...children need chores/jobs and when she gets done she can play a computer game.....best day evahhhhh)
4:00-5:00 supper making
5:00- big kid bath time (need to pee? mom you not the kid the kid may in the tub if you have a child under 3)
6:30- dinner, feed baby
7:00- baby clean up time
8:00-all good children should be in bed so Santa comes....(in 11 months)
I clock out.

This is a general routine for a few days out of our week.  Please note Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday have different schedules.  Every week I account for things such as:  library, church, dance, visit the great senile grandma....Saturday and Sunday are flexible work hours.

So as you can see my days of eating Dove chocolates and watching As The World Turns, botox injections, and spa trips are well.....for the Real Housewives of whatever county or city.  If they did a show on us real women....mmm mmm mmm they couldn't handle it.

I have never in my life been so stressed in a job and then so wonderfully rewarded by knowing I am the imprint on my children that strives to be the most positive force possible in her life and his life.  It is a blessing to be able to be here with them.  My job now shows me so much more that I never could have learned in a government or private sector job.  Every day I teach my children and every day they teach me simple lessons that make the most influence.

I don't cry in the bathroom anymore (unless I haven't drank enough water).  I love my job.  I don't think I care about retiring.

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Last night we had the meal that I say was how the South became so incredibly welcoming....chicken pie.  Chicken pie was my late "Dad-o's" favorite meal of choice.  I think he would have been super proud of the one I made.  My husband fell in love with me all over again thanks to this dish....he had two servings that according to my nutrition education (thanks UNCG) was probably more like 6 servings.

Brownie's Chicken Pie

Pie crust - I cheated on this one and bought pillsbury, the rolled up ones.  You will use both.
1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breast
1 can of creme of chicken soup
2 cups of broth from my chicken breast I cooked
2tbsp unsalted butter
Black pepper (use however much/whenever you want to, its a staple in our kitchen)

You should know to unroll your piecrust and place it in the dish, prick the bottom of the crust.  Save the other for the top.
Cook up your chicken in a pot (boil it baby)
After you get it all nice and cooked take it out and shred with 2 forks
In a small bowl mix together your creme of chicken soup and broth
Put your chicken in the pie shell
Pour in your liquid mixture
Pepper it baby, pepper it good
Put your top pie crust on
Prick it, x it, whatever (the top pie crust so your pie doesn't explode while baking)
350 degrees for 45 minutes

Slap your mama good and then hit your knees and beg for forgiveness, you never should slap your mama....unless your mama is on meth.

Serve with a green vegetable and mashed taters.  Sweet tea or water....save the wine for tomorrow.

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Until we meet again -



Brownie