Friday, January 30, 2015

Friday {Favorite} 5




Yay for Friday!  I'm happy for the upcoming weekend for a few awesome reasons
1.  My girl Ash is coming down for a little girl time!
2.  My hubby is off this weekend!

So here are the five things that I'm in love with this week...

1.  Handsome Devil
My handsome devil picked this bottle up at Target last weekend.  Honesty:  he liked the name and wanted the bottle.  Lucky for me its delicious!  Cabernet Sauvignon $9 at Target and smooth.  I am going to get another bottle this weekend.

2.  Stand n Stuff Taco Kit
Thank you Old El Paso for making this.  We regularly have Taco Night in our house...yummy, quick, kid friendly and adult friendly.  Need I really say more?  But these make eating the tacos so much easier for the littles.  Oh and I can cram so much more veggies and good stuff in there!

3.  Papermate Flair Felt Tip Pins
I am slightly addicted.  One of the teachers I cover for has these and I'm always doodling with them.  I went to Walmart and picked up a pack and lets just say I'm back to 6th grade...I want to write on everything!!!

4.  FiberOne Streusel Bars in Strawberry
I like FiberOne (sometimes) I really love their streusel bars though.  They are too delicious, I mean it is sin in a box.  They taste excellent with coffee and make for a good pick me up when you want something sweet.  You should try them.

5.  February!!!
Normally I'm all like meh over February.  Often the shortest month feels like the longest to me, am I alone?  Well not this year!  I'm so excited for February and for Valentine's Day because me and my honey are going all romantical this year.  

All linked up this week with:





Thursday, January 29, 2015

I think {Thursday}





I think this has been the week that I feel really old yet really young.




I think the show Uncle Grandpa is disturbing and the problem with future generations.



I think that goes for all current cartoons.

I think my husband is hot.

I think that it is possible to have the DTs from not seeing your regular friends as regularly as you were.

Ancient photo of Ashley and I from 2006...we were out of the country and dancing fools
My Amos 2008 after a girl's night out to Outback.
 

Jen who works too much and myself a blue million years ago
2011!!!!

I think Jen works too damn much.

I think Food Lion costed me too much money last week and its no wonder Walmart has world domination.




I think its strange that Walmart has a
bank, grocery store, a
nd gas station and no one says anything.  Isn't that illegal?  Ok maybe I'm confused.

I think I'm so stoked I got my hair did.

I think I'm offended that the lady doctor student said that I was drying up.



I think its crazy I just shared that but secretly I pray you are relating to me.

I think I'm ready to bust out of this one horse town for a weekend.

I think it would be helpful if the state supported university I graduated from had fluent english speakers answering the phones.



I think Brandy Glanville needs to be off RHOBH.

I think my water consumption lately is horrid.

I think I'm looking forward to seeing my girl Ashley this weekend, its only been six months.

I think that's all for today.






Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Compassion: The final post.

The last week of this topic.  I have received a lot of feedback and discussion with this topic and I'm delighted!  Thanks for reading.


Last Sunday our Pastor became passionate about the message he was sharing.  He was so passionate that we went over worship time by about twenty minutes!  Anyone who knows a good Methodist knows that going over that hour is tricky....

Via Pinterest


1.  You have to beat the Baptists to lunch.
2.  Wait...no because we let out an hour and a half before them.
3.  Your attention span can dissolve like that of a two year old after that 61st minute comes in
4.  PLEASE LET ME STAND UP!  Sometimes my back or my butt screams that.  Just being honest...I blame it on having grown two kids in my lower abdomen.

However, his message was something he was so passionate about that it didn't really matter that he went over the allotted time for sharing it.  We were in the zone with him.

So what was it about?

Forgiveness.

That little three syllable word that is so easy to say over and over and again but so incredibly hard to actually do.

It is hard to forgive someone.

No that's an understatement.

It is extremely, immensely, horrendously difficult to truly forgive someone who has hurt you.

I decided today I would share my story of forgiveness.  Just be straight up with you guys.  
I'm going to try really hard to keep this a blog post and not a novella.

I have shared that I'm the product of a teenage pregnancy.  I call myself a 10th grade biology lab experiment.  I do that because its funny and I like to be funny.  If you can't laugh at tough situations then you may as well pick out your cremation urn because your life is going to suck so bad. (That's just being real....)

Yes, I was born to a mother who turned 17 just two days before my arrival and to a father was who turned 18 the year I was born.  If I look back on my own life at 17 and 18 years old I know I was in no mental, physical, or emotional shape to comprehend what it would be really mean to be pregnant let alone to have a new baby to care for.  Many people however can tell me all about it.  I will tell you I have compassion for those moms and dads who are still wet behind the ears when they give birth to their children.

My heart bleeds for them.  In an instant they are stripped of childhood and unknowingly entering the hardest role on this planet...Being a parent.

My childhood was good for the most part.  I was close to my mom and lived in fear of my dad.  He had a bad temper and could easily be enraged.  

To paint the picture:  At eight years old I was praying they would divorce.  At eight years old I was ready for them to split and hoping that that would mean I never had to see him again.

Naturally, they didn't.

As I grew older the relationship with my parents grew more strained.  I disgusted my mother because I viewed her as weak.  I detested my father because he was hateful and mean and treated my mom and I like we were the plague.

I took that as being I was the plague because I was the reason for their shotgun marriage.  Had there been no conception...I wouldn't exist.  Their marriage would have never existed.  Maybe they would have found happiness a lot earlier on.

This isn't a story of blaming others, this is a story of blaming my own self too.

That relationship I had watched as a child and been nurtured and natured in would leave an imprint on every relationship I would ever have until years into my own marriage.

Because my view on marriage was so skewed my ideas of love were a big jumbled mess too.  The idea of being close to anyone - not in an intimate sense but a general closeness of friendship and camaraderie was damaged.

I didn't want many friends because they would hurt me.

Or I would hurt them.

I didn't want to build relationships with guys because they would be jerks.

Or I would be a jerk to them.

I was damaged and therefore I would do damage to others.

popsugar

If there was ever a good portrayal of Nike Running Shoes.. I was it.  If things started looking more serious I was sprinting like the Olympic Gold depended on it.

I was also so torn because I wasn't programmed to be docile like my mother and I was fighting the fact that so much of me was so much like my dad.  Maybe sometimes even more fierce.

Eventually, I would get married.  A scared girl - so scared that I would ruin the sanctity of marriage because I had decided I was not made for it. My messed up view would end up costing thousands of dollars owed to a lawyer.

My marriage was not easy in the first years.  It was hard and I kept reverting back to my childhood and growing up in a house that failed to set the example for what love and marriage was.

My intense disdain grew and grew against myself and my parents.

Then he was busted for cheating on my mom.

He lied to me....a few times about it.  Bogus, insane, childish lies.

He kept hurting me.

I internalized it as I had hurt him by being born and this was the payback.

The lies though.  All the words I had heard him utter out of that mouth.

One thing I can tell you about words is that they don't wash off, they don't fade away, and they cannot be hidden.

They live in your brain and play over and over again at the strangest of times.

I was 27 years old when my parents divorced.  The prayer of the 8 year old me came to fruition 19 years after I said the prayer.

And it hurt worst at 27 than I feel like it would have at 8.

Adults aren't resilient as children.

I spent a few years away from my dad.  I was finished and I prayed for God to allow him to be dead to me.

God doesn't approve of those types of prayers.  It is kind of against His whole mission.  You know that whole love and brotherhood thing.

I would make myself believe that I was at peace with this (my) decision.

But I never was.  

I had a toddler turned preschooler whose Nana would sneak her visits to her Papaw.  Just so he could see her.

Yes, that's the two divorced people.

I had things happening in my life - not so happy things - that made me long for a dad I could talk to.

My ideas to heal the hurt were not working.  My ideas were wrong.

They were just as wrong as the house I grew up in.


The crazy thing about God or the Universe or Karma is that one day it plays a big trick on you.  A trick that is an opportunity for you to take the high road and do the right thing.

A chance for forgiveness.

Circumstances occurred that would force me to be in my dad's presence with no one else around.

For the first time I wasn't able to slide on the running shoes.

When I walked into my dad's house the first thing he did was say hey and then out of no where tears were flooding out ... from him.

He hugged me like we had been apart for decades.

He apologized for everything he had done.

Then he told me he loved me.

What do you do in that situation?

The only thing that is right and just:
You give the forgiveness that was given to you before you even existed.

That's the point of compassion and humility and grace and love.

It was not easy but I did it.  I gave forgiveness and in that moment of accepting an apology and seeing that it was honest and good I felt so many pounds of stress and damage begin to be scrubbed away.

Forgiveness allowed me to move forward with my life.  It allowed a bad relationship to heal and become stronger.

If I hadn't accepted that moment I wouldn't have been blessed the way I am today.

The point of forgiveness is not necessarily forgetting the hurt but more taking that hurt and making yourself more humble and aware of other's struggles so you can help and show sympathy and compassion to them.

I also forgave myself later.  I forgave myself for the personal hell I struggled through.  By telling myself I was culprit for all the mean spirited words and acts, I had hurt myself even deeper.  If you think it is hard to forgive another person then own up to your own ways of self inflicted pain and see if you can forgive yourself so easily.


Practice forgiveness, guys. It can be so hard but it can be done.

Its the ultimate form of compassion --- and it was something you were granted before you were ever created.




Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Tasty Tuesday


If you're on my IG you saw that I made up a good ole cherry cobbler last week.  I use my late Mamaw Della's recipe.  This week I thought I would share it with you.


Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

What you need:

1 cup of flour
1 cup of sugar
1 stick of butter (melted)
1 cup of milk
If you have fresh fruit use it.  If not canned peaches, cherries, apple pie filling will do the job. 

Mix it together and place it in a dish - I always use the 10 inch Corningware dish I have.

Dump your fruit on top and leave it alone!

Bake it 375 for 30 minutes.

Delicious.

****

One of my favorite sauces to cook with is made by Duplin Wineries.  

I stumbled upon it at a wine tasting in Charlotte in November.

In case you aren't familiar with Duplin Wine here's the skinny --- it is based in good ole Duplin County, North Carolina.  They make wines with regional grape cousins called  muscadine and scuppernong (naturally the wines are sweeter).  I say grape cousins because I'm from the South and ya'll its all about some cousins.  Wait that came out wrong...hahaha you get me though...I hope HA!  Some favorite Duplin Wines around here are Hatteras Red and Magnolia.

Anyhoo aside from the wine this winery also make delicious sauces and gourmet foods.  Let me just tell you this....their Muscadine Carolina Mustard BBQ sauce is AMAZEBALLS.  There is no other word for it.  The first taste I had (sample at the show) was out of this world.

Photo from duplinwinery.com
This past weekend I cooked some boneless, skinless chicken tenders in the sauce and to say it was the most addictive chicken I have had is an understatement.

You must order some of this goodness.  It is worth the $5.99!  

You have the traditional pleasantness of the muscadine mixed with the bite of the mustard.  Its tasty success of flavor and fusion.

Get it.  Period.   Also peruse and order even more deliciousness from the fabulous NC Winery that is Duplin.  

If you vacation on the Carolina Coast be sure to stop in on your way to Wilmington, Wrightsville Beach, or Pleasure Island.  You can enjoy seeing how the wines are made and also partake in trying the wines they offer.  Don't forget to stop by the bistro for an amazing meal.




See ya later!




Monday, January 26, 2015

Target Finds

I hope you all had a terrific weekend!  We had one that I cannot find one complaint about.

On Sunday we took a trip to Target and ended up getting some things for our house.  Putting it all together is fun but at the same time a tad bit of a headache!

One thing we really missed in our living room was an ottoman.  Our new furniture set did not come with one.  It must have been our lucky day because we found one that matches our furniture quie well.

Double Storage Ottoman Chocolate

I love this guy!  Its a beautiful finish of chocolate leather with espresso wood (hello chocolate and espresso in one piece...sold!) and it was on sale.  This one is Threshold.  I also LOVE that it is also a storage ottoman.  Now I have a place to stuff the blankets!

Decorative Basket RE Polypropylene Multicolor Round

The Diva's room is quite the pig sty these days with toys everywhere.  I found this awesome storage basket while we were in Target and immediately snagged it.  The size is PERFECT for all those stuffed animals.  I also chose this one because its not a "child" print and can be used for a very long time.  This is the Room Essentials Polypropelene Storage Basket.

I must be honest and tell you I'm so disappointed with the local Target's curtain selection.  I remember the day when they had a whole aisle of fabulous window treatments and now its a quarter of a aisle with limited choices.

With that being said...I lucked up on a valence for our family room last week at Goodwill!!!!  YES!  I found a mint condition valence for $3.

Speaking of that room I will be revealing it next week!

Alrighty lets get this Monday started.  I hope your week is fabulous.

Tomorrow is Tasty Tuesday and I hope you'll check back then.

See ya later,






***All photos are from Target.com***




Friday, January 23, 2015

Friday 5



This week seriously flew by at mad speed.  Here's to a great week and hopefully an even better weekend!


If a french fry can make a bird happy, I can sure be happy about the little things in my life! #www.frenchriviera.com
That's what spring days in January do to me!

1.  This week we had some kick butt weather!  I'm talking 67 was the high on one day and not to far from that the day after.  It was GREAT!  I took advantage of being outdoors and raking in every dripping drop of sunshine and the tease of spring!  Oh yeah that means my car is clean, I got plenty of exercise, and I'm super happy!!!!  Of course the temps dive back down today.

2.  I finished up Sophie Kinsella's Wedding Night --- so not a better one of her light reads but it did have me laughing out loud at some stuff.  Oh and I have already picked up the next Shopaholic book in the series.  Yes, I'm late at finding these but yes, I'm loving them.

The Ultimate Vegetable Gardening Guide in Handy Infographic Form
Pin It
3.  I'm ready for spring but I'm seriously ready for my garden this year.  This is a fantastic pin for you to use when it comes to gardening.  Click the pin it link....its a huge graphic!




4.  The days ARE getting longer!!!  As in daylight lasting past 5:30!!!

5.  39 Absolutely Perfect Comic Sans Valentine's Day Cards.  #lifealert

I love these stupidly ridiculous Valentine cards....I don't think the first graders my kid will be giving Valentines to will though....






Thursday, January 22, 2015

Thursday Thoughts: Gray Hair

On my mind lately....


1. Gray hair.

I knew I was semi destined to go gray before ever being near the dawn of seeing my own grandchildren. My dad was gray by his mid twenties and ok my mom doesn't really have many grays.  What she has she can cover with color.

So lets just say I wasn't shocked when at 24 my hairdresser said, "Man, you need color to hide all these grays."

Of course my hair is now mainly all gray but I keep it colored (love ya Lizz).

In October I allowed my fabulous hair lady to turn my hair dark.  I mean yeah that's pretty wild for a natural blonde to go dark.  Bahahahahahaha.  

Anyhoo, it took a lot of getting used to. It made my eyes really POP!  I eventually started liking it.

Then poof....here come ALL the silver linings.

Thank God for being able to go blonde and not looking like a hot mess.

Which brings me to this....

We can blame it on her I guess?  Her hair is BROWN not BLACK.

2.  Black hair

At one of my local fast food eateries there is a lovely Hispanic chick who is really pretty.  Then....for some reason she goes out and dies her gorgeous shiny black hair to bleached out blonde.

I wanted to cry.

She had the best hair ever!  It was like a freaking Pantene commercial. Then its all ratty and ugly and yellow with splotches of white....reminiscent of a Labrador I once had.

Why, oh why you girls with gorgeous NATURAL black hair ever want to change it is beyond me.  You are the only ones who can rock that hair and not look like fools. You see white girls dying their hair black what a mess they make.  It looks hideous and makes us think they need medication for anemia (or they forgot to remove the Halloween wig from their noggins....)

Oh wait....I get it. Duh we're female....hair + female = mistakes.

Anyhoo that super cute chick eventually allowed her hair to go back to black and she looks so fab again.

WOOHOO!

I'm too young for the purple rinse grandma look I see at Walmart....seriously.

3.  I did temporarily contemplate letting my hair just go. Then I slapped myself into reality and evaluated my sanity levels.  I'm not ready to be gray. I don't care if my husband thinks its hot (freak, note to self keep him away from K&W).  There are certain aging changes we can control and hair color is one of them.  Thank goodness for Ms. Clairol.

Does she or doesn't she get rabies from her kid biting her?

4. No, not thank goodness for her. Thank goodness for colorists.  Hairdressers who actually know how to color hair.  Be warned there are many who can give a good cut but cannot color any better than a 2 year old.  Don't color your own hair! You aren't 14 anymore!  You can afford to pay a pro to not infuse your scalp with fifty shades of red. That boxed junk is destined to turn out bad - stay away!  
And trust me....I box died my hair for wayyyyy tooooo lonnnnggggg!




In closing:
1. I'm not ready to be gray.
2. If I was Hispanic or Asian I would rock the heck out of my black hair.
3.  White girls should so stay away from anemic mismatched looks.
4.  My husband needs to have limited time with elderly women.
5.  Colorists are a gift from the Lord.
6.  Ms. Clairol is a scam

See ya later!






Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Compassion

Last week we dove into compassion for the less fortunate.  This week we're looking at compassion for the sinner.  This is a particular hard topic for me.  I want to work on this side of me and make myself less judgemental and more open to show compassion to all people.



Sometimes I look at others or read about people who have done something horrible or something I do not understand.

I say horrible because they are on the 6:00 news as a top story and it isn't for raising tons of money for cancer research. 

I say do not understand because they are doing something against proper judgement.  Or what I think is proper judgement.

In the fall, a house in a local community had camera crews and police all around it.  Bodies had been exhumed in the backyard of the residence.  Blasted on the television and computer screens were two mugshots.  One belonged to a self professed Satan worshiper and the other his significant other.

Facebook, local news channels, local journalism sources all had their own stories of this man and his "dark" past and present.

His story (constructed by the media) was put out for everyone to read.

It seems like the whole area was making comments and I followed suit.

I didn't make a nice comment about this guy.  I said something along the lines of him probably being an outcast in school...having daddy problems and this is what he does.

Yeah, it wasn't the worse thing in the world but it also wasn't the right thing.

I heard about a woman who was having children she couldn't afford so she could get the utmost benefits the system would allow.  She didn't seem to be actually caring for her children properly and her lifestyle caused a lot of people to look at her sideways.

I looked at her sideways, cross eyed, and with disgust.  I was angry that children were suffering at her expense.

But its okay to say things and look at people with distaste if they are using kids as pawns.  Right?  Wrong.

Part of being worth your salt in this life is stopping yourself from making the "funny" comments and judgemental comments at the expense of some one's situation.

That someone applies to everyone.

If we really follow the golden rule of life that means we don't say things that are hurtful about anyone because we don't want anyone saying hurtful things about us.

We cannot constantly right ourselves by thinking we can make snide remarks about people who do wrong or very different from the way we do things. 

And why not?

Because we are just like them.

Every day we all do something wrong.

Some days we may even do something a tiny bit hurtful.

Our wrongdoings, though they seem tiny to us, are equivalent to even the big sins in the eyes of the Creator.

That hurts to hear and to realize.

He sees all sins and calls them equal just as he sees us all made in an equal fashion.

Remember - we were made in His image.

What separates us from doing something heinous or skewed versus carrying on the way we are?  Is it chance, is it nature, is it nurture? 

Maybe it has a medical reason.  The chemical imbalanced brain or a brain that doesn't function correctly because something in the frontal lobe isn't reacting.

Maybe it has to do with a bad childhood that left wounds that never had the chance to heal.  A damaged self worth that was never properly explained.  Every action with that gaping wound is trying to bring some type of value to the person but it never does.  The wound was never given what it needed to heal.

Maybe it has to do with love.  Maybe it has to do with not understanding that no matter what happens here someone loves you through the good, bad, and ugly.  

No matter what it stems from there is something that would help the whole world.  A prescription for some compassion.  

You don't have to necessarily forget all the bad to realize that under that labeling and history is a real human being.  There's someone who probably loved cartoons as a kid, couldn't wait to drive as teenager, and was excited to bust loose and make a name for themselves as an adult.  Let's be real....when they wanted to grow up they probably didn't want a name on a DOC roster.  Nor did they wish to be the butt of our jokes or to be snubbed by any other human being.

Let's show compassion for these people by prayer, kind words, and lastly just a smile.  Not a fake smile, not a one up smile, but a real from the heart smile.

What would the world be like if we were just that much more compassionate.  Slow to speak when the work crowd or friends group starts in on someone that we really have no place to say a word about.



This week the challenge is to hold that tongue and actually stop and think before we say something stupid about someone.  We don't know their story (though we always think we do) and we don't know what they have went through.  Walk away from the talkers and instead think of what positive comment could be made.  Realize sometimes it is hard to say something positive and that is the opportunity to say a quick prayer for that person.

But also realize we're all the same....you've just been blessed enough to not turn the dark corner or be put in a terribly scary spot.

We're all sinners, we all do stupid and not so nice things, lets start trying to lift each other up.

See ya later.